The Bringer of Light

friend who went to bed is a type of dead wife

Oh wow so me saying "no government documentation should ever include a gender marker for any reason" has been right all along. For exactly the reason I stated when people were giving me shit for not supporting x markers on documents.

In love with this random guy who had a lock slapped on his storage unit for not paying its rental and not only did he ignore management and took his stuff out without paying, but also chose to steal the lock itself and send it to the LockPickingLawyer along with a confession letter

@theoutcastrogue

People always focus on the "lockpicking" part of his name and ignore that the lockpicking lawyer is, indeed, a lawyer, and can tell you exactly which crimes you committed in getting this lock to him

me: yeah, so one of your most famous works is actually just that commission of a woman that you kept. Honestly, it's less of the piece itself that lead to its fame and more the mystery surrounding it, so I was hoping you could clear that up the decayed corpse of Leonardo Da Vinci that I resurrected: Hai detto che hanno chiamato una tartaruga che combatte il crimine con il mio nome?

Hang on let me translate something real quick

Yeah this is funny

never going to be over that time I was trying to explain polyamory to my mum, and she said "I just don't understand how someone could be in love with two people at once" and I gave her my the-cognitive-dissonance-is-causing-me-physical-pain face and she said "what??" and I very quietly said "mother....you had an affair...."

who cares if you don't fully "get" the weird postmodernist novel on your first read, or if the experimental arthouse film is opaque to you on your first viewing? you are not being graded. you are not being scored. there is value in the attempt. every time i've read House of Leaves or watched Blue Velvet, I've gotten something new from it. the idea that you might not "get" something and therefore shouldn't bother with it is so silly to me

I love birdwatchers they’re like “I just saw my ALL TIME FAVORITE BIRD SPECIES! I’ve always dreamed of seeing one in the wild! I am ECSTATIC!” and it’s the most boring looking little brown bird you’ve ever seen.

And I’m watching the video like “whoaaaa what’s it going to be! woodpecker? red-headed woodpecker? eastern whip-poor-will? northern mockingbird? it’s a Bachman's sparrow? oh, okay. neat.”

I’m sorry to admit this and I would never do it in real life because I have an immense respect for wildlife and specifically the delicate nature of birds. That is the most grabbable animal I have ever seen. It looks free for the taking.

serious question: can anyone else see this post? am I hallucinating?

this is like Schrodinger’s fucking meme because half the time the pic is deleted and the other half it’s visible