Lost In My Thoughts

So he will forever be regarded as a mere demon who bit the hand that fed him, never knowing that this same hand stabbed and pushed him into hell while breaking his heart into million pieces.

There's a great post by @/jayktoralldaylong talking about how all the love interests in MXTX's novels prioritize the safety and well-being of the MCs rather than prioritizing - or even expecting - their love being returned. And image my surprise when the first reply I see is "Except Binghe. That bitch will sleep with your corpse," with others agreeing and calling him the "worst MXTX character" in the tags. I am yet again asking, did we read the same book? Luo Binghe is just as single-mindedly devoted to Shen Qingqiu as any of the others. Evidence of this is found at every turn during the main plot of Scum Villain: the plot during which he was actively possessed by a sentient evil sword. A sword which in a different timeline - a timeline without Shen Yuan - almost single-handedly turned Luo Bingge into a tyrant. He is under this influence for a majority of volumes 2 and 3 (of the Eng. transl.), which is also when he is accused of being "crazy" or "pushy" in regards to Shen Qingqiu.

Since the reply that inspired this post discussed the 5 years in which Shen Qingqiu was dead, that's what I'll address first. When Shen Qingqiu self-destructs, Luo Binghe is caught extremely off guard. It's easy, I think, to forget or disregard just how awful and confusing the entire novel's events have been for Binghe so far. Accepted to Qing Jing and subsequently horrifically abused for 4 years; a sudden, drastic, unexplained change in Shen Qingqiu and a blissful 3 years of peace; pushed into hell and utterly betrayed in an act of what appears to be very out of character hypocrisy. And when he returns (now in possession of the aforementioned sentient evil sword), he stays away from Cang Qiong and becomes a respectable cultivator in his own right, so that maybe, maybe Shen Qingqiu would accept him once again. And then he runs into Shen Qingqiu enjoying the company of someone who looks exactly like him; yet Shen Qingqiu runs from him, acting as though Binghe is the one who is dangerous, who is going to hurt him. Of course, Shen Qingqiu is justified in his fear, based on his own perceptions of the situation. But Luo Binghe does not know this.

Immediately following Shen Qingqiu's destruction is one of the only times we get a firsthand glimpse into Luo Binghe's perspective. This line is from the moments after he catches Shen Qingqiu's body: "Didn't Shizun hate his blood more than anything? Wasn't he unwilling to even be near him, to associate with him at all?" In the following pages is when he learns, for the first time that "Shizun too was...utterly heartbroken" during his time in the Abyss. When the chapter ends, Luo Binghe is still in utter shock, wiping the blood from Shen Qingqiu's face and trying, uselessly, to explain that he was just angry, that he just wanted to make him happy. We don't see the part of the scene where Luo Binghe leaves with the body, but it is not hard to infer that, in his complete state of denial and shock, his mind recently saved from an agonizing deviation, he was unwilling to part from his Shizun.

During the five years of Shen Qingqiu's absence, Luo Binghe kept his body in as perfect a state as possible. As we see in the Deep Dream extra, Luo Binghe brings Mu Qingfang (who he seems to respect, however minimally) to Huan Hua Pavilion some time after the events of Hua Yue City (which we know because Mu Qingfang expects Shen Qingqiu's body to "have long since festered and decayed"). We, as Shen Qingqiu, then get a glimpse into what Luo Binghe does with the body: he cooks countless meals that will go uneaten, and he transfers qi to prevent that decay. Skin to skin contact is the most direct way to transfer qi, as supported in many other scenes, including the flashback scene in this same extra. This type of qi transfer can also be carried out while sleeping, as evidenced in the Bing-mei vs. Bing-ge extra, providing a regulated stream of spiritual energy for an entire night. As Mu Qingfang said earlier, this uses up "an enormous amount of spiritual power" and is only enough to keep his body protected "for a single day" without reversing everything. Luo Binghe is immensely powerful, but even protagonists are not built to drain themselves every night for 5 years, while also fighting off Xin Mo, running Huan Hua, controlling the demon realm, and NOT giving up on everything. When Shen Qingqiu is thought to be dead in the minutes after Maigu Ridge, Luo Binge "almost tried to follow" him. And yet, when he believed there was even a chance he might return, he held on "for almost two thousand more of these days and nights."

The only other time we see Luo Binghe's interactions with the corpse is when Shen Qingqiu, undiscovered in the plant body, witnesses Liu Qingge's infiltration. In this, it is said that "Luo Binghe was unwilling to harm the corpse, so he could only release it." It's worth mentioning that, if Liu Qingge had managed to take the body back to Cang Qiong - or, what sequence is initiated when he does - it will be given burial rights, it will decay, and Shen Qingqiu will never again have a possibility of inhabiting it. Luo Binghe cannot let this happen; it's not merely about possession or attachment. And yet, he would sooner allow this possibility that allowing even the potential of harm to come to him.

When all is said and done, after Luo Binghe has been broken out of Xin Mo's control and Shen Qingqiu does not die - the first thing he does is return him to Cang Qiong Mountain. When Shen Qingqiu suggests that they leave, together, Luo Binghe is "dumbfounded." He fully expected to be left, for Shen Qingqiu to be unwilling. He would have done anything for Shen Qingqiu and expected nothing in return.

just, the sureness of it. you know without a doubt that he will become the biggest powerhouse in svsss. you know, that with his protagonist halo, everything will eventually go his way. it’s like everything you do in the moment will be remembered and judged and blown out of proportion and will cause real, deadly consequences in the future. you’d have to be monitoring every single act you made around him, and even then worry he’d notice how forced it was.

the inevitability of it squicks me. he’s not escapable, not forever. this is proved in the novel, too, I’m pretty sure, when shen yuan flees with the plant body and is found. (details are fuzzy there, feel free to correct me. something about fertilizer?? anyway.) he will get what he wants, with enough time. any resistance shen yuan puts up is futile, especially with the system looking over his shoulder.

it’s… it’s just an uncomfortable thought. if you disagree with him, there’s nothing you can do. he’s everywhere, and you can’t offend him or make him leave for fear of what he could do in the future.

Bear in mind that all we know about Luo Binghe is from  SQQ's POV, and as we know he's an unreliable narrator. The one that conceptualizes LBH as inevitable, inescapable and unbeatable is him, from his reader POV and from what he's made himself believe all through the novel.

Let's not bring into discussion the Jinlan City arc, because that's the height of bingqiu's miscommunication and misunderstandings issues, and the only time where LBH actually wanted to hurt and capture SQQ as revenge for throwing him into the Endless Abyss.

Post self-detonation, SQQ could have tried to escape while he was in the plant body, but he wasn't making a real effort about it. He was even looking for LBH, and in trying to save the captured disciples he got closer to where LBH was. Then he went back to CQM and that's when LBH "caught" him. That's the only time he's actually under house arrest, and since this doesn't gain him SQQ's favor, LBH will eventually learn that capturing someone's body is not the same as having their heart (Random Questions Extra). In other words, if the love he wants isn't given freely, what's the point of it?

Then after the Holy Mausoleum, IiRC, he berates LBH like two times for not being at his side when he woke up. After Maigu Ridge, he again asks LBH why he wasn't waiting at his bedside.

There is a lot of stuff I missed on my first read of the novel, and one of them was this. I was fooled by SQQ's narration. I believed that everything he did for LBH was "reluctantly", because it was LBH and it couldn't be helped.

It is not at all like that. That's the way he excuses his own actions towards LBH. He doesn't like to process his feelings for LBH, doesn't want to think about them, but his actions speak louder anyways. There's a lot of examples of him thinking that he's actually "giving in" to LBH, because he prefers to think that, instead of admitting to himself that he wants to be with LBH, that he loves him and is attracted to him. He has internalized homophobia and queerphobia and that colors his thoughts in many ways, especially in how he describes his relationship with LBH. "Oh LBH is so attractive of course I can't possibly deny him, he's the protagonist.” It's not because he himself is attracted to him, what do you mean?. "Oh LBH is trying to manipulate me and coax me into doing this. Can't be helped, I have to give in." My favorite one is when he tries to convince himself that he's not enjoying sex with LBH in the Regret of Chunchan extra.

(post is getting long so more thoughts under the cut)

I am risking nothing

I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

** Permission to post & translate was granted by the artist Don’t remove credits & don’t repost/edit the art Please, rate and/or bookmark their works on Pixiv too **

Translation and typeset by me (thank you Phoebe for proofreading!) Do NOT repost/edit it on tumblr or any other websites!!! (pinterest, instagram…)

Artist :  南條パピ子 (pixiv / twitter)

1. First of all, we can see how Mikleo warned Sorey not to just take anything given to him by strangers.

Mikleo even volunteered to ‘taste test’ the wine. Although (fortunately) it wasn’t poisoned or anything.

2. This scene:

And the one followed right after:

Sorey being a Shepherd wasn’t something that they had planned. And maybe, Mikleo just didn’t want to be a ‘burden.’ He knew he wouldn’t be able to help Sorey as he was.

But he didn’t want to leave Sorey alone, because he knew Sorey too well, and he wanted to protect him however he could.

3. And then there’s Sorey. Being all messed up after knowing Mikleo had gone off who-knows-where alone, without even telling him. Sorey just couldn’t think straight when it involved his best friend.

But then he realized Mikleo must have had a good reason to just leave like that. He believed in him, and he would definitely wait for his return.

4. Thanks to Lailah, Mikleo now had a new aim: to get a sacred relic in order to help Sorey. And since he didn’t want to bother Sorey with his new duty, he decided to go alone. Because he would go that far for him.

5. When Sorey realized he had never felt lonely in his life, he immediately reminded of two things:

People in Elysia, and

Mikleo.

Because Mikleo occupies half of his mind all the time, and also because Mikleo is his other half.

6. Mikleo who got beaten up on his journey, trying to motivate himself by remembering the reason why he went in the first place: for Sorey. And of course, remembering Sorey means remembering all sweet moments they shared together.

7. How in-sync they are with each other. They could be so competitive when it comes to ruins, and each of them thought they won from the other. (Of course no one really wins, they probably reached the ruins in the same time.)

8. In-sync Boyfriends Number 2. How they did the same thing even though they were separate, far away from each other. I’m really sure they had the same thing on their mind: 'Mikleo/Sorey, what are you doing right now? I miss you.’

9. The flashback.

continued from part 1. i don’t think people understand how much jungkook hates jimin, and how one-sided this ship is. let me help you guys out;

wow, look at jungkook hating on jimin during NO MORE DREAM days, look at that face, its filled with hate.  

i can feel the animosity from here…

correct me if i’m wrong, but this was during n.o era? you know, back when people said jikook was one-sided. okay, okay. what you see above is NOT jungkook looking absolutely SMITTEN w/ jimin. nope. 

rookie king days anyone? it’s one-sided right? because that’s NOT jungkook pulling jimin closer even with namjoon between them. absolutely not. bc jungkook hates jimin esp. during debut era. like the above example. 

pls observe jeon jungkook as he looks at jimin’s LIPS with so much hate in his eyes, observe as he roams his gaze over jimin’s face with hate. wow. 

(x) uh. huh. keep telling me how one-sided this ship is. 

jungkook is clearly backhugging jimin bc he hates him so much, wow. that face is filled with absolute despise. im sure. i wonder how many times people have to see this to get it.

(x) nope, jungkook hates jimin. 

those are not heart eyes or anything. 

i hate you~eh~eh~

hate you~

context: countdown before new year, 3, 2, 1. who’s the last person jungkook chooses to look at? jimin. (x)

that’s jungkook watching jimin laugh. he’s obviously not melting, no, not at all. he hates seeing jimin laugh, that’s why he does all this, right?

(x) keep telling me how much jungkook hates jimin

hold my hand, jiminie-hyung because i hate you so much.

wow, who’s he turning to? any guesses?

(x) only has eyes for jimin because jungkook hates him.

(x) jungkook entering jimin’s room. what you see above is not shy and pleased. no. it’s resentful. look how much he hates going in there. he hated going there so much, he went not even 5 minutes after jimin texted him, didn’t even know jimin was doing a live broadcast until he got to the door. the hate is REAL. 

jungkook is so disrespectful. looking at jimin so lovingly and shit.

(x) look how UPSET jungkook is wow,

that look…so hateful

are you convinced of the hate yet? im not finished though…

he does NOT look shy and pleased when they’re talking about how jimin likes him. he doesnt care. look at that face. 

right…

ok, clearly, it’s one sided. 

this was supposed to be heart eyes!jungkook but im still seeing jungkook hates jimin stuff so here ya go. 

[NOTICE ME JIMINIE HYUNG!!!]

***long post***

“Since the beginning” YES I love this sentence. It’s a slap in the face for those who’ve been saying Jikook is a one-sided love. like, the whole “Jungkook hates Jimin” shit is so medieval and ancient! lmao.

I mean, Jungkook has been dropping hints, be it subtle or less subtle, ever since the birth of Bangtan, but people’ve chosen to live with the concept of kook pushing jimin away bc they’re too ignorant to see beyond what’s been shown on the surface. Jeon is tsundere af lmao. he could be saying “I don’t give a fck” to Jimin but act otherwise, like…

What is this?

Jimin looks guilty as hell and so uncomfortable when he sees Jungkook heading towards the cam. and excuse me Jeon? He’s not exactly yours for you to stare at him like he’s committed a crime lol. /SCREAMS HEIGHT DIFFERENCE!!!!/

what bout this?

Namminhope are having fun but whoopsie!!! not so fast Mr. Park Jimin! You can’t have fun without your other half Mighty Jeon the Lord of memes, the Ruler of girl group dances, the Pioneer of ‘Hovering technique 101 with Jeon Jungkook’…and so he appears unwelcomed simply because he can. /you could actually see Kookhoverer’s reflection in the mirror in the first gif/

You would think it’s the end of the story but nope my buddy oh there’s more to be told…

Ji/hope are so engrossed in their dance to recognize /HOVERER ALERT!!!/ the existence of a certain raven-haired boy who, well…craves some attention. Of course he needs to push our lovely Hoseok out of the way because mate, you can’t let your buddy be with your boy after spending such a long time with him. TIME OUT! Could you please move aside hyung cause /eyes Jimin thru the mirror/ I’ve been searching for my Jimmy boy for ages… shoo shoo

I had hoped to see more lessons from Jin because Jimin’s getting there but Uh OH…RED ALERT. Whose hand is that? Too close, buddy too close!!!!

OF COURSE you would be here JEon. OF course.

Uhuh tryna impress your Jimin hyung with your antics i see? Oh i get it, you haven’t got your daily dose of Jimin’s laugh for the day, have you? I get it, he will still laugh no matter how lame your joke is, including the act of putting lipbalm. Ah-Ma-Zing.

/I was hoping to see Jimin fling his body when he laughed like he always does tho. He would be the best goalkeeper for Korea/

Here we have Tweety bird pouring his heart out while singing over the loudspeaker, feeling like he could conquer all the stars of the universe with his angelic voice, but all hopes are shattered to pieces when Kookhoverer decides to take up half  the screen just to get something offcam. He’s like, intentionally being unintentional shoving his head on screen for the world to see. Luls.

They say, working out is best done with a partner, but looks like Jimin had picked the wrong dude, because the supposed partner is eyeing them thru the mirror right now. Awww Jungkook better luck next time.

/look at him standing behind Jimin in the first gif. Just how long has he been there tho/

Now,here comes the most hilarious out of all “Notice me senpai” moments…

It’s called “How to get your boy’s attention when he’s out with his buddy”-chapter 3:33 of Hovering Technique 101 with Jeon Jungkook

Step 1: Just walk leisurely into the scene and pretend you’re totally fine. Facial expression is VERY important.

Step 2: Find something that could divert his attention, such as damaging his property /or trying to/ .Don’t worry,he won’t be mad at you bc he loves you too damn much. Don’t forget to do the victory cheer because you deserve it.

Step 3: In case your technique doesn’t work on him, prepare Plan B- Distract his buddy. Find something he loves and try to gain his attention thru it. Once he sees the thing he loves he will totally leave your boy alone. It’s a win-win situation for both of you.

Step 4: Oh i see you’re getting there? Good. Now wait till he walks away with the bait. When the coast is clear, that would only mean one thing;you have your boy back! Now ENJOY!!!

And that’s the end of the story.

Yeay to Kookhoverer and NAy to Jiminblivious tsk tsk. OR maybe Jimin knew all along what Kook was up to? Bc it would be impossible if he couldn’t sense a thing. Kook was SO OBVIOUS!!!! Screw subtlety. Jeon is getting tired of that lololol.

Soooooo, I was writing Jungkook/Everyone smut and got the feels so I decided to make a compilation of the hyungs spoiling, adoring, and being totally weak for their beloved maknae! Gifs, picture credits, and translations, to owners!