The Art of being Human

(before disappear)

Planet Texas! How the hell are you, we got good news for you, America! The Black Parade is back in action! And [something], this is the last time you dirty this armored suit! We are brought to you by the kindest, warmest gentleman, here tonight with us; please, a round of applause for The Grand Immortal Dictator. He’s been enjoying all the culture wherever he goes, and that man looks handsome. We are supported by the Draag National Auxiliary band, please make some noise. Shall we continue? Ahh! Ah! Come on!

(before wttbp) (elexecution)

Hello, Texas! We’re gonna have an election! No-no-no, we’re gonna have an execution! Everybody that came in today, you got a really free sign, you got a really beautiful free sign, you got a red side that says yea! You got a black side that says nay! We’re gonna hold a vote, and we’re gonna decide if these people get executed or if they’ll live. Their crime is collective: to question the vitality of His Grand Immortal Dictator. It’s up to you, America, what we do with them. For those that think, we put a bullet in ‘em. Let’s see the red, let’s see yea. Now, all who oppose, say nay! That’s a lot of fuckin’ red! It’s close though. I’ll let you know when it’s close. We gotta give the people what they want. Roll! Ready! Aim! Fire. Yes! Wait, hold on. Oh, one of ‘em didn’t get hit. One of our guys missed. We should’ve got somebody from Dallas to do it. Alright, well, let’s show her what she’s won, then! It’s brand new 2009 Baruva Dart. Gets great gas mileage. Looks pretty sweet. What’s in it? A brand new goat. In the back seat. Alright. Yeah, let’s get her over there, let’s get her behind the wheel of that brand new car. Whaddaya say, Texas?

(before house of wolves)

Bark. Bark. Bark. Bark!

(before teenagers)

[picking up ringing phone] Hold on, I’m calling my mom.

B STAGE

(before na na na)

Thank you Clarice. Please make some noise for Clarice Jensen. I’ve been a fan of her a while. And she’s, uh, also part of the Draag National Auxiliary Band. Along with Kayleigh Goldsworthy and Tucker Rule, please make some noise for them. Hell yeah. And please make some noise for Garbage! It’s a real honour to play with them, and think Shirley had to take off early, but, uh, I think for maybe some reason that’s not so awesome, you know? But, you know, we’ll put this song out to her, and we wanna thank them for playing with us. [To Frank] Happy birthday who? Butch? Butch’s—[to audience] oh, it’s Butch Vig’s birthday! Hell yeah! Happy birthday, Butch! Alright, this goes out to all of you. Let’s hit it. We’re My Chemical Romance from New Jersey.

(before sorrows)

Woo! Hell yeah. Hell fucking yeah. I was real excited for this show. We were real excited for this fucking show. Been a long time. This is a really cool room though—you know, like, the roof’s closed and everything, um, ‘cause one thing I forgot about when we got here the other day was how big the sky is in Texas. It’s fucking huge. So, you know, I was missing that a little bit tonight, but not really when you guys put your shit up in the air. Your shit that lights up. This ain’t the kind of song for it, though. That light-up shit, you know what I’m sayin’? This song is off the first record! ‘Our Lady of Sorrows’.

(before planetary go)

[gagging and retching] Thank you. Shit, yeah. This is our first stadium tour, thank you for coming out. It’s took a real fucking while to do this, but thanks for spending your fucking evenings with us, and most of your morning, or your afternoon, too, just hanging out. ‘Preciated! I feel like dancing. I really do. We’re gonna see how it goes on this grating, but… you feel like dancing, Caroline? Good news, America! It’s time. To dance.

(before not ok)

We got some friends out here tonight. Some very special friends of ours from different parts of our lives, want you to make some noise for our friends Livia, Byron, and King. They live right here in Dallas. And, uh, we had a really fucking amazing Thanksgiving, it was fucking awesome, America, it was so good. It was really good. Our friend Scott’s here, too, from the old comic shop days. I spotted him right away. He spotted me, I think, right away, but I think eventually, for sure, he did. Scott’s here, yeah. You see him? I can see him. Man. He introduced me to a movie called ‘Phantom Of The Paradise’. I’d seen the VHS before in, uh, Dollar Video, in the parking lot of A&P in Jersey, was like, ‘man, this cover’s so shitty.’ He’s like, ‘this movie’s fucking good, dude.’ You watched it? Fucking changed my life, man. Check it out. This song goes out to all of them. All those 47 people I just mentioned. Are you ready for the summer jam of all time?!

(before bullet with butterfly wings)

Insects. Insects. Wo-o-oah. This is a song I had a religious experience with.

(before the world is ugly)

Thank you, Texas. Hell yeah. This shit is fun, thank you for singing that with us. Let’s see. I think this is one we haven’t played yet on this tour. On tonight’s scheduled shout-out script—there’s more coming, but they’re for different nights, you know? So this one is for you guys. Let’s hear it. Both of them are. Anything you don’t hear me put out to somebody else, it’s—it’s yours, you know? This is a song off Conventional Weapons. It’s a beautiful song, for an ugly world. Are you ready? I think we should see those lights.

(before venom)

Thank you, Texas. Very beautiful to be here, beautiful to look at, thank you so much. We’ve always had good shows here, that’s one reason we—you know, um, we were looking forward to, but also, like, Texans are intimidating as fuck, so. With however many tens of thousands of you came to check out us, that’s pretty cool, right? Atleast someone in Texas digs this shit, right? Now, we—like, back in the early days, too, I remember, like, we’d drive for—forever, forever, ‘cause this state’s really big, it’s like, bigger than the UK, right? When you drive across? And sometimes Ray would stop the van and be like, ‘bro, get out! Get out!’ And I think it was Texas he made us get out, it was really late at night, and he was like, ‘bro, look at the fucking stars!’ and we were like, ‘what the fuck are you doing, man?’ but it was infectious. I was into that shit. I don’t know if everyone was, but I didn’t give a—motherfucker. Stargazing. Well, we got our own kind tonight. We’re gonna play you something off Revenge, if that’s okay with you! It’s a little bit metal, a little bit rock’n’roll, I don’t know…! That’s the stupidest thing I ever said. Let’s go, this songs called Gracias! Pour la Venin. Alright, let’s do it!

(before kill all your friends)

Fuck yeah! This is, uh, just as awesome a fucking night as we’d hoped. Real exciting to play here again in whatever fucking capacity, transformation that is. Whatever, man. Woo! Imagine I just do this, walk around the whole time—woo! [audience woos] Oh, you wanna do it too? Woo! [audience woos] Hell yeah. You guys wrestling fans too? Everybody’s a wrestling fan. I know Charlie’s a wrestling fan. Charlie Saxton who plays The Clerk over there, big time wrestling fan. He taught me all kinds of shit. How to take a hit, stage combat, kicking people over. He’s a talented fucking man. Alright, here’s a song that we haven’t played yet, it’s a B-side off Black Parade, it’s pretty fucking tasty. You know what I’m saying? [to Frank] I think this is your son’s favourite song, right? This goes out to you.

(before helena with intro)

Thank you! Fuck yeah, thank you so much. Got a couple more left for you guys. Alright, Texas! You may probably sing this one the loudest with us, possibly. We’ll help you start it out. We’re gonna start like this. Start like this.

(before war beneath the rain)