I AM HAPPY BECAUSE EVERYONE LOVES ME!

Sometimes the best fic you’ve ever written isn’t on ao3. It’s in 50 frenetic discord messages sent over a fifteen minute span where you and your friend yes and each other into a perfect story that will never actually be written.

you need to understand that i have two sets of headcanons. there's the set of realistic headcanons based on my genuine reading of the show, and then there's me playing pretend with my dolls.

for ten years there were letsplayers who would record video content of themselves playing videogames and edit it down into 10-20 minute videos which they would post on youtube and other video hosting websites, but mostly youtube. now we only wake up in a desecrated field choked with a miasmatic fog and columns of graves that stretches beyond the horizon

Well my life is fucked i lost my only special toy

the horny einstein: i just had a stroke of penious

listen i consider myself an empathic person but after a certain point i get sick of other people’s problems. my friend is always talking about how the jewel-eyed skull on their mantlepiece is tormenting them w its sinister beauty and im over it. like dude i don’t want to talk about this anymore. get rid of the fucking skull

you’ are biased against my skull

i’m not having this argument again man

When you go to the doctor's office, if you're a woman, they should give you a gun to use on the doctor if they dismiss your problem. Same if you're fat. Fat women get two guns in case the doctor really deserves it

This is kinda ominous ngl

Gotta compliment him on his reflexes. No hesitation. Just described exactly what he was seeing, regardless of what it was.

[VD: A weatherman is giving a report and pointing to a map, saying "feel like temperatures really take a tumble too, because after the storm-" before he is interrupted by the screen going black and then displaying a picture of some baby spinach. He says, "um," then immediately points to the screen and confidently announces, "this is baby spinach." /End VD]

aaaah i’m dead and i’m a baby ahhhhh

it's so hardcover –> we're so paperback

this post is making me pronounce hardcover in a way i never considered

we're having sex and you pull out at the end to discover your cock is entirely gone, dissolved (ive digested it like a pitcher plant). bye!

You'd unfollow me for my pitcher plant pussy post? After the beautiful night we shared???

WASNT A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT. PESIS IS GONE.

i love when museums have near exact replicas of their displayed objects for you to buy. haha 15th century ceramic cup you are in my possession

Honestly i love when rockets explode