As Moist As An Unhatched Skeleton

I bring in a graduated cylinder of it and we talk about how it’s used in nuclear power plants and gmo crops. How inhaling even the small amount I’m holding can lead to suffocation or even death. It’s found in vaccines and cancer cells, but also in infant formula and pet food. It is a huge component of acid rain, can cause severe burns, and has been found in places that were thought to be the most pristine and unpolluted locations on earth.

We talk about how there are little to no regulations on this chemical. No bans, no warning labels, and most manufacturers don’t even have to disclose their use of it in their products.

My students are outraged. We talk about what we can do. Create posters and flyers to spread awareness. Contact our senators with petitions to ban DHMO. Spread this information all over social media.

Then I explain that the real problem with dihydrogen monoxide is that….when I am thirsty…there is just nothing else as refreshing, and then I watch their looks of absolute shock and horror as I drink the entire vial down.

Noble Intentions, of Waterdeep!

As Animal Crossing characters. <3

Contrary to popular belief, it is NOT normal for a Cerberus’s heads to fight with one another; this indicates anxiety or lack of proper enrichment.

Giant spiders are actually very social creatures, and should not be housed alone.

Provide your Sphinx with enrichment by answering its riddles. Though Sphinxes can be trained to attack those who answer incorrectly, they actually normally speak in riddles as a form of social play that is essential to their development and well-being.

If you cannot provide brimstone and a large pool of lava for bathing, don’t purchase a Hellhound! They are animals with very specific care needs and their health will suffer if they are not given the proper habitat. Likewise, most Hellhound kibble brands on the market do not meet the recommended daily requirement of damned souls for Hellhounds. Always check the labels!

The practice of putting blinders over the eyes of Basilisks to make them less dangerous is cruel. Basilisks should not be kept in enclosures where people other than expert caretakers normally come into view.

Many hippocampi enjoy pulling sea chariots, boats or inflatable floats and it can be a good source of enrichment and exercise. Make this activity fun for your hippocampus by rewarding it with treats such as fish and allowing it to participate as it wants to.

A labyrinth is NOT an appropriate habitat for a Minotaur!! Minotaurs need fresh grass and shade to lie down in to be happy. Also, a diet of only human flesh will cause malnutrition. Supplement your Minotaur’s diet of kidnapped youths with a source of fiber, such as hay!

Remember, that hatchling Roc is an adorable fluff ball now, but it will eventually become a fearsome elephant-sized bird of prey with a ravenous appetite and very demanding housing requirements. A pet should always be a well-researched commitment, not an impulsive decision.

While going into the wild and gaining a dragon’s trust is often romanticized, there are many dragons in search of a loving family much closer to home! Try looking into dragon rescue organizations near you.

Some Manticores need to be fed live prey; others, however, will accept prey that has been frozen and thawed. It depends on the individual.

I befriended a feral cat once who had spent her life in the forest without human interaction. I was worried about her because she had a paw damaged from an old injury and was emaciated but obviously nursing kittens that were hidden away somewhere. It took me weeks of putting out food and sitting across the yard every evening for her to trust me even a little and when she decided we were friends and she expected dinner every night she started coming to my door and trying to call for me in the evening, but she didn’t meow. Why would she? Cats only meow naturally as kittens when their vocal chords/ears aren’t fully developed, adult cats communicate with vocalizations that aren’t audible to humans. She probably tried making noises I couldn’t hear to call me but ended up sticking to the one I always responded to- a horrible yowling growl that she had made at me when we first encountered each other in the forest. Except once we were friends she would make this noise while purring and rubbing affectionately against a nearby tree or the porch railing (because she didn’t want to touch me yet). This understandably freaked my family members out but I was touched that she had taken the time to find a way to basically yell FUCK OFF in an affectionate way.

Fast forward to when she finally trusts me enough to bring her hidden kittens out of the forest to me, long story short I gained their trust and put them in this big pen, that I had previously used to keep chickens in, so they’d be safe and to keep her from having another litter. Except she was already secretly pregnant again! (Fix your pets, guys, they make SO many babies) and ended up having her new babies in this pen. I kept my distance, sitting on the outside once they were born until she seemed comfortable enough to let me come inside. The kittens were a bit wild, hissing viscously at me as soon as they opened their eyes, but they warmed up to me. There were four of them and soon they all wanted to be the center of attention during the twice daily play sessions. I’d be playing with one and another would meow insistently behind me and I’d immediately answer them and give them love, teaching them that humans could be friends that answer their needs- making them adoptable once they were weaned. Mama cat (Artie) would just watch me play with them, and I guess she was doing some thinking because one day when they were about a month old I was playing with them and one meowed behind me. I was confused because I hadn’t realized there was a kitten behind me and when I turned, there wasn’t. The only cat there was Artie looking at me really intensely. I turned back around to the kittens and I heard the meow again, I turned back to Artie and responded in the way I always did with the kittens “yes baby?” And she meowed again in an exact imitation of her kittens! After that she would.not.shut.up. It was like she had cracked some kind of code, meowing for attention and snacks and just to say hi. Her two older kittens, the ones she’d had in the forest, had never meowed at me either but started to once they saw how I responded to their mom. and I find it endlessly fascinating because before that it had never occurred to me that cats only meow at humans because they were taught by other cats to keep meowing past kittenhood because that’s the best way to get a human’s attention.

Me: May I quick look over my notes on my phone?

DM: Of course

Me on my phone: