TANGERINE DREAM

Oranges stimboard for anonymous

Hi, I'm Elias (I'm in the middle of photo 2), and I'm looking to crowdfund my top surgery! I've been on T for about 3ish years and counting, socially transitioned for several years, and have been actively dreaming of and wanting top surgery since I hit puberty. My friends and fiancé can both attest to my chest dysphoria and how my chest currently negatively effects every aspect of my life. I have done what I can to alleviate it but since my chest is always there it has consistently weighed on me, and as of late, my dysphoria has been particularly bad.

This year, I started the journey to actually obtain top surgery. I absolutely need help in attaining this. Top surgery is extremely expensive and while my insurance should cover some of it, it will not cover all of it.

I need money to cover the following: The surgery itself and enough money to compensate the 3 of us not working to pay my rent + utilities [1450 for rent, which will then be 1,500 in August. Utilities are about 300ish per month]. To make sure I have some flexibility if something arises I am asking for 8,000.

If you can afford to help me, I would greatly appreciate it. I cannot stress enough how freeing this surgery will be for me and how greatly it will affect my quality of life.

This post will be updated as often as I can with any information. If I hit the funding goal, any additional money will be put into my savings or otherwise used to pay for anything else that might come up during recovery.

If you cannot donate that's okay!! Sharing this helps just as much and I appreciate it 💜

Thank you all so much!

[55/8,000]

G.OFUNDME LINK

I saw it a couple weeks ago on Instagram I THINK? I didn't save it and I haven't been able to find it. Google thinks I'm insane.

It was a clit suction toy shaped like a purple balloon dog. The head came off and that was the toy, the body was the base. Might have been a vibrator attached to it too, not sure.

I am not thinking about vulpini design's pipsqueak. Different thing.

Rumination is probably the most common type of OCD compulsion, but I rarely see anyone talking about it. I've talked to multiple people diagnosed with OCD who didn't even recognize it as a compulsion.

Basically, if you have OCD you have terrible intrusive thoughts. They can be about anything, but common themes are fear of being a bad person, fear of hurting someone, fear of contamination. etc.

Rumination is when you get stuck in a spiral. Rumination is when you spend hours catastrophizing, overthinking, analyzing, telling yourself it's going to be okay.

I'll say it again:

Rumination is a compulsion.

Rumination is a compulsion, and that means you have to stop doing it.

I did ERP (exposure response prevention) for my OCD with a therapist! For 9 months! And it did help, but the idea didn't really click until I found this website a couple years later.

And Oh My God. It made things make so much more sense, and I was able to pull myself out of an episode even though I wasn't in therapy or on meds at the time.

Genuinely if you have OCD, or even if you suspect you have OCD, I'm begging you to read some of these articles.

Like this was genuinely life changing for me.

Here are some of the ones that were most helpful to me:

Defining Rumination

How to Stop Ruminating

ERP Exercises for Compulsive Rumination

In her private life, the Li is actually a fan of traditional Chinese Hanfa.

(source)

"Venus in a bikini" untying her sandal, with a small Eros touching her foot and a figure of Priapus standing next to her on an altar

Her clothes and jewelry are gilded, and there are traces of red paint on the tree trunk, her hair, her lips, Eros, and Priapus

Found in Pompeii - dated before 79 CE