ketchuprats

My one friend group can't stop saying, "See you in hell!" in a cheerful voice instead of, "Talk to you later!" and my other friend group can't stop calling things "penis" instead of "cool" or "good", so I just unironically uttered the phrase, "Sounds penis, see you in hell," as I got off the phone.

I think everyone should be doing this btw. Maybe, "Sounds penis, see you in hell," could be our, "Always."

I tried to quote this post to my housemate the other day but botched it so said "nice cock, kill yourself" and now it's turned into a call and response so instead of saying goodbye one of us says nice cock and the other tells you to kill yourself

you have to be careful reading too many things that are good/smart/well-written bc then you encounter something that isnt and you get confused like ? why didnt they just make this good ? were they stupid

What? No, it's not a "mechsplo forcefem" thing – she'd already figured out that she was a girl long before getting into the giant robot. The combat drugs did however make her gay.

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

As a transsexual woman 👩 who has had multiple experiences ‼️ I have found 🔎 that the biggest block of cheese 🧀 is usually the one ☝️ that has the largest size 📈

mature content

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

I wish zeppelins were still a widely available means of transport, I'd love to travel the world on an amazing dirigible circuit

If any competition needed to be on Tumblr, it's this one.

Zelda puzzle training simulator

u gotta be careful reblogging posts cuz what if you see it drowned in water later

What Are You Doinf To My Poast