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@kerflubble

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This post is almost 11 years old now, so I feel like it’s time for an update:
Yeah…
The Many Crimes of Celine
So when I was first laying out the Dispatch/KPDH crossover back here:
💬 5 🔁 4 ❤️ 33 · Getting started has a couple of issues for her First problem: Celine knows of SDN from Huntr/x's first world tour and Blo
I mentioned that Celine hadn't really committed a crime worth qualifying her for the Phoenix problem. Fun facts from @load-of-junk though:
She can (potentially) now join Sonar in the White Collar Crimes club for the boat load of fraud she had to do to get custody of Rumi in the first place before potentially setting up a multi-billion record label! She fits in with the Z-Team after all! Z-Team: "One of us! One of us!" Celine: *Face down on the table groaning in despair*
it came to my realization that 99% of my fandom related headaches would be cured if everyone understood this
great thing about a character with very little canon backstory is that you truly can say anything you want about them. my blorbo now.

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Z-Team Celine - First Mission
You know how some people headcanon Celine as an Avengers level threat due to the fact she had to work as a hunter solo while raising Rumi and then training Huntr/x afterwards? The villains of California aren't ready for that, especially not one green caustic dirtbag that happened to show up on her first mission as part of the Z-Team:
“AUUHGGHAAAH!” He screamed out in agony as Celine sliced passed him, the green toxin fading away from most of his skin while his outstretched arm carried its arc across the store, falling on the counter with a wet thud “YOU CRAZY BITCH! MY arm...” Toxic cried out as he stumbled back into the shelves, collapsing in a shuddering heap, his right arm cut cleanly off just above the elbow. “Cel, what the fuck?” Invisigal let out. “I'm sorry?” The hunter asked, blinking through the cheap mask. “You cut off his arm!” “Yes, and?” Celine asked, still blanking on what the heroine's problem was. Invisigal was having trouble keeping her jaw off the floor right now “Did Blazer not give you the 'no kill' talk?” She asked in a completely exasperated tone. The Z-team 'Rookie' looked over to the whimpering villain, unimpressed “He's still alive.” She shrugged. “Not for much longer you fucking psycho!” Toxic yelled from the floor, trying to wrap up whatever he could over the stump “I'm gonna bleed out because of this bitch!” “You know you're not bleeding that much dickhead!” Visi yelled. There really wasn't as much blood as there should have been for a limb getting sliced off, yeah there were a few stains but Toxic wasn't sitting in a puddle or anything, like Celine's sword mostly cauterised as it cut through. Like a knife that made toast as it cut bread “Screw it, I'm calling the docs. Mission accomplished I guess...” she groaned out, pulling out her phone as the pre-arranged backup burst through the window like a cannonball. Shards of glass falling around him, Punch-Up landed on his feet with a smirk under the moustache, quip locked and loaded "Looks like some fella can't get enough testicular tors... shite!” Punch yelped as he saw the rapidly dissolving arm, and the disarmed Toxic “The fuck happened?" He asked. “I cut off his arm.” Celine explained matter-of-factly. “What the rookie said...” Courtney groaned. “What did you do that for?” the team brawler asked back. “He was a serious threat to civilians and myself so I did the fair thing and pacified him non-lethally in cadence to your code.” “By cutting off his fecking arm.” “It was effective enough,” Celine shrugged as she wiped the blood off the Honmoon blade, a sharp smell of burning flesh still in the air “If it was up to me I would have aimed for the head.” She added leaving the other three to just stare blankly at her. “The hell... are you?” Toxic wheezed out, eyes wide in fear. Back at HQ, through the crackly security cameras, Robert had watched the whole thing with a tense look on his face right up until the team had started to argue about whether cutting off someone's arm was an appropriate use of force. Now it was back to the affectionate 'I hate all of you sometimes' grimace that was his default expression “We sure she wasn't a villain before she jumped in this shitpile?” the eavesdropping Chase asked, poking his head over the cubicle wall “She's scary as all hell. Coop's got competition.” “You know what's really scary here?” Robert asked him “This is probably the best debut shift anyone's had on the Z-Team.”
As a moderately technical person with an extremely good understanding of computers AND an extremely good understanding of the things that nontechnical people find frustrating about computers, it is always just a little exhausting to finish making a specific recommendation to a nontechnical person only to have people who are extremely technical and extremely bad at understanding the things that nontechnical people find frustrating about computers come in and make a recommendation that will require more effort and expense on the part of the nontechnical person or are literally exactly the opposite of what the nontechnical person is asking for because the technical respondent didn't understand what the nontechnical person was saying.
"My sister has had an expensive gaming machine and didn't use it and doesn't use it now but might do some light gaming stuff at an indeterminate point in the future and is currently using my personal laptop to do basic web browsing, I'm trying to ensure that my sister can keep doing web browsing but whenever I ask my friends for advice they start at a high price point and the people I know who have purchased used equipment have bad experiences with it that I'm not interested in duplicating; is it possible to get an inexpensive computer that will accomplish what I'm looking for here without it turning into a time suck because I'm not particularly good at computers?" is not what someone says when they want you to start speccing out a machine that requires a graphics card that costs as much as the machine that they actually need. The question was not "can you find me a less expensive gaming machine?" it was "is there such a thing as an affordable non-garbage machine my sister can use to look at Ao3 or are my choices 'used office machine old enough to have a driver's license,' 'cheap-but-trash machine that will have to be replaced annually,' or 'gaming rig that costs as much as a car'?"
It's like when people ask me for advice on improving their online security and privacy because their data was revealed in a breach and I talk about using bitwarden and protonmail and basic degoogling and then other people pop into the comments to recommend installing linux, buying a burner phone, and self-hosting an encrypted server.
I get where you're coming from here, almost everybody CAN become technical if they want to, but most people who are not CURRENTLY technical can't generally become technical in the timeframe that they would need to in order to manage whatever problem they're having.
If someone is saying "My friends insist the only bread I can eat is fresh-made croissants from a boutique patisserie, and my dad only eats stale wonderbread, is there something other than that out there that I can have for lunch?" the answer isn't "you should start making sourdough, everyone can learn to bake."
One of the things that happened with my start-to-failure linux stream the other day is I was looking up the steps for how to verify the checksum for an ISO file in Windows (because I always forget how to) so that I could trust the file that I downloaded was safe to install. The file that was the download of Ubuntu Studio. Which is, to be clear, linux.
So I search for information about how to do checksum bullshit in Windows and the instructions I come to from the Ubuntu site say "If you aren't using linux on windows, why on earth not? You should do this by installing linux."
THAT IS THE THING THAT I AM TRYING TO DO I NEED AN INSTRUCTION FOR HOW TO DO A STEP IN THE OS THAT I AM CURRENTLY USING SO THAT I CAN INSTALL LINUX.
Seriously, follow some links with me. From the link above to this:
From that to releases:
From the release download you can get info on how to burn the images to disk:
Which tells you that you need to verify the image:
and then links you for info on how to do that in Linux!!!!!
THIS CHASES NON-TECHNICAL PEOPLE AWAY. THIS IS WHY NON-TECHNICAL PEOPLE THINK LINUX IS SCARY. BECAUSE WE GO 'OH NO YOU HAVE TO VERIFY YOUR DOWNLOAD IT'S A VITAL SECURITY STEP' and then the non-technical people go "Okay how do I do that" and the instructions say "Why aren't you already using linux, dipshit?"
THIS IS POOR TECH COMMUNICATION. NERDS, I LOVE YOU BUT THIS IS WHY PEOPLE USE FUCKING WINDOWS WINDOWS SUCKS BUT IT DOESN'T MAKE FUN OF THEM FOR USING WINDOWS.
*through gritted teeth* when i do something wrong and am politely asked to change my behavior its just a simple request to fix a problem and not an indictment of my character. when i do something wrong and am politely asked to change my behavior its just a simple request to fix a problem and not an indictment of my worth as a human being
No crossover stuff but more KPDH, a wrestling fic but its not an AU: Huntr/x gets offered to do guest appearances on some wrestling show: Rumi has to be gently taught about Kayfabe, the girls are *desperately* trying to conceal their power levels when they get asked if they're okay with doing a few basic celebrity spots and maybe a bump if needed. And then there's Zoey... Zoey wants to do nothing but crazy stuff she first tried in her backyard in California. Dives from the light fixtures in the arena down to the ring, a hundred tables some of which are on fire, "Do we have any barbed wire and thumbtacks?" And having constantly be talked down from her crazy plans to ones that are at least physically possible for trained humans but would be insane to suggest anyone untrained do. Still, the idea of someone with literal legions of fans being so willing to do things that would get her hurt still has everyone nervous. Even if she's fine are the wrestlers going to be okay with any backlash to "YOU HURT OUR PRECIOUS ZOEY"?
Mira meanwhile has zeroed in on all the positions, poses and holds that got meme redraws (you've probably seen them) and is trying to change the show so she can get an opportunity to put Rumi in them all on live TV.
After Bobby's well timed intervention and Mira's assurances that whatever happens they've probably taken worse landings than whatever these trained professionals would them through, Zoey's demand has been negotiated Down to "Take a powerbomb from the top rope through a table in the ring." Rumi & Mira have already started practicing how they'd respond to seeing their Maknae being broken in half in front of them. The problem of the Huntr/x army coming for the wrestlers for real is still going to be a threat. Especially now since the plan is going to have Rumi and Mira stage crying on live TV.
Trying to work out the exact suite of Stats, Skills, Powers and Advantages needed in Mutants & Masterminds to be able to Izuna drop someone. Unfortunately the rules about teleporting are pretty rough when trying to warp a guy 60ft in the air and piledrive him on the way down.

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No crossover stuff but more KPDH, a wrestling fic but its not an AU: Huntr/x gets offered to do guest appearances on some wrestling show: Rumi has to be gently taught about Kayfabe, the girls are *desperately* trying to conceal their power levels when they get asked if they're okay with doing a few basic celebrity spots and maybe a bump if needed. And then there's Zoey... Zoey wants to do nothing but crazy stuff she first tried in her backyard in California. Dives from the light fixtures in the arena down to the ring, a hundred tables some of which are on fire, "Do we have any barbed wire and thumbtacks?" And having constantly be talked down from her crazy plans to ones that are at least physically possible for trained humans but would be insane to suggest anyone untrained do. Still, the idea of someone with literal legions of fans being so willing to do things that would get her hurt still has everyone nervous. Even if she's fine are the wrestlers going to be okay with any backlash to "YOU HURT OUR PRECIOUS ZOEY"?
Mira meanwhile has zeroed in on all the positions, poses and holds that got meme redraws (you've probably seen them) and is trying to change the show so she can get an opportunity to put Rumi in them all on live TV.
"you don't know what you have until you lose it" works for things that suck too btw. sometimes you need to experience life without something for a while to realise oh damn that was some bullshit
me: i wanna talk about my ocs
someone: ok tell me about your ocs
me, suddenly convinced that every single thing about my ocs is stupid and cringy and probably offensive: i. have them
Trying to decide which of my fixations I go and get a commission for: OCs currently being used in a TTRPG or get a Superheroine outfit for a Z-Team Celine.
Or my brain decides that choosing is hard today and I should make that decision when all the cells can make quorum and none of them start filibustering

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More KPDH X Dispatch crossover points
Yes I'm back on the "good" stuff so here's more about the crossover I'm cooking up:
Invisigal has babysat Zoey once before. Courtney managed to fake competence enough to one of her parents well enough for them to not notice that her entire plan was to steal a Gamecube, bring it over and let Zoey yap while playing Super Mario Sunshine. Zoey has not forgotten this and should they meet again will instantly point out this act to Mira and Rumi.
Coupé was at one point hired by demons posing as Music industry executives to kill Celine at a concert while Huntr/x was still getting started. When Celine found out she was being targeted she lured Coupé to an isolated part of the building for a 1v1 to prevent innocents from being hurt. Because of this (and a quick retreat to beat the hell out of her employers for not disclosing the fact that Celine could kick her ass) Coupé starts as the only one who knows who the newest member of the Z-Team is.
SDN have done security for a Huntr/x concert before but nothing happened because America has a different set of demonic rulers and Gwi-Ma doesn't want the smoke.
4. Prism isn't the biggest fan of K-Pop and not even the Honmoon is going to make her shift on that. She will say that she called boy bands being secretly demonic though.
what i mean when i say life got me feeling like hangman lately: