mall blart paul cop

no! cozy games will kill the patient. she needs violent dogshit to live

I’m obsessed with my 19 year old coworker. I was telling him about how my crashout divorced dad got a sugar mommy by going to random churches and having screaming sobbing breakdowns in the pews until a random rich christian widow was like ‘I can fix him’. And he went ‘yo thats tech. The meta is changing.’

I have three beverages advising me at all times

reblogging this to add that I often think about the old man yaoi mangaka on bluesky who said "the phrase that finally convinced me that the English language is truly beautiful was 'this shit is so ass'"

once i was in the TSA line for a flight and it was SO LONG that TSA decided to just drop all the security protocols. leave everything in the suitcase including electronics. keep your shoes on. don't go through the fancy 360 scanner, just the metal detector. get out of here. and i was like ohhhh so you admit this is all just your stupid community theatre production that you've made me be a part of for all this time and it doesn't actually mean anything real. okayyyyy

The ADHD urge to not

To just not

I have several overdue assignments

I JUST WANNA GET FACKED

Source

GIVE ME A FUCKING SOURCE

#the beauty of tumblr is that any new show i start i'm able to say oh that's my friend. from gif.