be vigilant. i love you

“People you may know” and it’s the devil from the Bible

as it gets warmer let's all remember the two most beautiful accessories a girl can have this summer are hairy legs and a bunch of bruises from bangin around

fat butch is genuinely the staple . when u say butch i think of a fat butch and it hasn't crossed my mind that this is a new thought for some people

blond people are either laura palmer or jake paul

lestat is jake paul. stop your madness

"all you ever do is complain" that's not true. I also resent.

they're saying spending 2 hours in the word doc changing words slightly to be more specific and evocative and moving endless commas around is one of the most noble and respected things that you can do

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage