âYou donât need anymore books!â -
Donât tell me how to live.
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@keepcalmandreadfic-blog
âYou donât need anymore books!â -
Donât tell me how to live.

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The mouth of a Port Jackson shark (Heterodontus portusjacksoni), photographed by Jeff Rotman.
It's downhill from here.
Last night I dreamt that Channing Tatum nervously presented me with a dress heâd knitted for me. He clenched his (big, work-roughened) hands in anxious fists while I unfolded it.Â
âYou donât have to wear it,â he said, before I could say anything.
The dress was perfect. It was beautiful. It could turn into a skirt.
âYou like it?â Channing Tatum said, smiling crookedly.
The dress had pockets.
#if anyone ever asks me about female fantasy and some of the ways it differs from perceived female fantasy #i am just going to cite this post
Must have reblogged this three times already but not stopping now
It had pockets
Suddenly all those Hinterlands quests to go round up a random farmerâs druffalo donât seem so silly.
Dragon Age Inquisition - doing something right.
(source)
#war in pre-industrial societies was *very different* from what many people imagine#i keep seeing calls for ârealistic medieval huge military battlesâ and im like#yon average feif could maybe afford like 10 guys tops
YES. This whole thread is the best thing and betterbemetaâs tags (above) are on point. I would love actual ârealistic ancient battlesâ where like ten actual fighters and whatever serfs they can persuade to accompany them posture and try to intimidate each other, or have an Official Scrum on a mutually beneficial day. That and justâŚcattle raiding.
I guess in post-collapse terms itâs theoretically different because your whole raider gang exists to nick other peopleâs shit so doesnât need to cultivate or craft much except perhaps to make them more self-sufficient in weaponry, armaments, and other logistical things thatâll enable them to raid harder and more often. Thatâs exactly why, on the other side of things, as many citizenâs as possible in your vulnerable good-guy farming commune might need to be militia members to protect themselves from people who can dedicate their full-time everyday energy to Being Raiders.
I say in theory because, even if youâre nicking other peopleâs shit, why not treat that as a bonus? Why not look to historyâs peoples who placed a particular import on raiding as a way of life, and notice that none of them were just straight-up predators. They had enough agricultural or pastoral or pescatoral (is that a word?) infrastructure to subsist, and then the luxury, the surplus, came from attacking other people part-time, very occasionally. Look at norse folks going viking; look at the invasive pastoralists of the Eurasian steppe. Just in terms of the caloric requirements and risks inherent in combat, youâre not gonna want to do that full-time. Training to do it well will take more calories and they need to come from somewhere. You pick your battles. You take without fighting at all where you can â so intimidation and making enemies surrender without having to fight is important here; c.f. pirates of the Golden Age â and you fight rarely and only when you know you can a) win, b) benefit hugely from it.
THANK YOU
i think this post has changed my world. literally.Â
the âdeath is cheapâ approach to warfare only really came on the scene in the 19th century, and not full-blown until WW1. the american civil war and similar conflicts, with mass charges against cannon and the like, thatâs a very modern approach to warfare and it assumes manpower is your cheapest resource.
in a non-industrialized setting, manpower is your most EXPENSIVE resource. you donât throw masses of bodies against a position unless youâre an idiot, except in very rare cases â say, xerxes vs the 300 â where numbers are your only advantage and you donât have any other options.
in pre-industrial warfare, tactics could make a shockingly outsized difference. there are many documented cases of a few commandos or a surprise flanking move defeating an army ten, twenty times their size. well-trained, well-equipped soldiers are not expendable in that setting. they are your best hope of winning. a medieval warlord would no more throw away his knights, archers, sappers, or other trained troops on massed action than a modern general would throw away her heavy bombers on a strafing run. thatâs not how you use those.
just as the modern general uses long-range missiles for bombardment before sending in rare and expensive things like helicopter gunships for close engagement, the medieval warlord used mobile cavalry to isolate and harrass the enemy, and archers to soften them up, before picking his moment and ground to strike with heavy cavalry.
as ellis points out, these trained and equipped troops need a lot of support. reducing the enemyâs support was an essential tactic. when fantasy writers have a siege happen, they tend to think itâs just about starving the other guy or breaking down the wall. but the besieged army often ran into trouble long before that. running out of arrows was a problem, for instance, and when you eat your horses you no longer have a cavalry. a lot of times, that heroic âsally forthâ business that broke a siege one way or the other was just because it was eat the horses or use them, and a knight on foot was no longer able to fulfil his tactical role, so the leader rolled the dice rather than have his knights downgraded to footsoldiers.
one result of the need for civilian support for these troops was that you really, really didnât want to slaughter the peasants if you could help it â at least not if you were taking over the territory, or thought you might want to at some point. itâs not like you could just ship a hundred thousand political prisoners from moscow to work the farms. the peasants WERE the land. without them, it was just a lot of mud you had to get across. you couldnât stay, you couldnât use it.
so iâd advise a moratorium on medieval armies burning every farm they pass, and slaughtering the inhabitants of cities they occupy. a few particularly ruthless warlords in history did that a few times, to make a point, and it was shocking back then, or it wouldnât have worked. alaric sacked rome as revenge, not a takeover bid; you wouldnât do that to a city you wanted to keep.
The Perfect Duet

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ââŚand I told him, is you crazy?!âÂ
ân den what happenedâ im in love
âThey got waterâ đđ
Lmfaoo she said ânoâ
Her little shocked expression for sea world đđđ
The difference between Rhysâ and Tamâs dramatic entrancesÂ
Rhysandâs Entrances
Tamlinâs Entrances
you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put âyou absoluteâ in front of it
example: you absolute coat hanger
as well u can just add âedâ to any object and itâs sounds like you were really drunk
example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night
#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled
going through my microsoft word archives is great fun because i always find the wildest shit in there and by âthe wildest shitâ i mean the time i tried to rewrite the entire bible from scratch at the age of eleven and a half
âAnd so Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden of Eden, and Eve turned to Adam and said, 'Nice going, loser.ââÂ
iconic
whilst you were listening to avril lavigne, i learned the way of the Lord

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This is such an interesting dissection of a very common trope in writing female characters that I never really thought about before, but itâs so prevalent and so obvious and so fucking disgusting.
date someone you can high five after sex tbh
Tony Ward spring 2017 rtw
While many people think fanfiction is about inserting sex into texts (like Tolkienâs) where it doesnât belong, Brancher sees it differently: âI was desperate to read about sex that included great friendship; I was repurposing Tolkienâs text in order to do that. It wasnât that friendship needed to be sexualized, it was that erotica needed to be ⌠friendship-ized.â Many fanfiction writers write about sex in conjunction with beloved texts and characters not because they think those texts are incomplete, but because theyâre looking for stories where sex is profound and meaningful. This is part of what makes fan fiction different from pornography: unlike pornography, fanfic features characters we already care deeply about, and who tend to already have long-standing and complex relationships with each other. Itâs a genre of sexual subjectification: the very opposite of objectification. Itâs benefits with friendship.
Francesca Coppa, âIntroduction to The Dwarfâs Tale,â The Fanfiction Reader (via rideshotgun)

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The dangers and troubles of being a panda zookeeper.
LET! THEM! IN! THE! BASKET!!!!!
This poor woman is just trying to clean the leaves. #allpandas.
if youâre having a rough night, watch this. trust me.
This looks like me trying to do anything productive during the day when the babies are awake.
 yes it really does
MOM life
letterboxd lists are truly incredible