Waddup Fellow Youths

It's rude. You're making someone take their time to read something you couldn't bother to write. You're telling them they were so unimportant you couldn't be bothered to actually take the time to say something yourself. And frankly, you're lying about it while you're at it.

Andy and his girlfriend Gillian had been together for 30 years and had lived together for 25 of those years in the house next door to mine. Each of them had been divorced and as a result had sworn off marriage as a concept. They didn't need to get married! Their relationship was just as valid and respected as anyone else's. Right?

Gillian wasn't allowed to visit Andy in the hospital. She wasn't 'family'. He died alone.

Gillian wasn't allowed to claim ownership of their shared home of 25years because her name wasn't on the deed, and because they weren't married she wasn't entitled to have it transferred to her ownership. Andy's children got the house. And despite the mortgage being fully paid off, they started to charge Gillian rent on threat of eviction.

A few years earlier, when I was 15, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. He's still trucking along now with various treatments 10 years later, but for 2 years it was very touch and go. At one point he was given no more than 1month left.

That time was incredibly stressful and intensely traumatic for the whole family, but because my parents are married my mother was able to stay with him in the hospital. She could make decisions for him when he was too sick to advocate for himself. She will be allowed to plan his funeral when the cancer eventually wins his standoff.

I was 14 when the UK passed gay marriage, and had already been out as a lesbian for a few years. I was overjoyed to have the option - I wanted the pretty dress and the party and the legitimacy - but it wasn't until I saw the contrast between my father's and Andy's situations did I realise the sheer enormity of the decision.

I have a cancer causing gene. My chances of developing cancer in my lifetime are 70%. But, with the privilege of marriage, I know that my fiancé will not be left with nothing when I go. I know that she will be in charge of what happens to me, to my body. She will be able to visit me. I will not die alone like Andy.

I understand the sentiment of marriage being antiquated and rooted in misogyny. No one with sense will deny that. But without marriage we would all be forced to face the horrific reality that the government and the courts do not view our love as serious and legitimate.

ok. keep it to yourself. it's the polite thing to do. if i'm not enjoying food someone made, that i get to eat for free, i'm not gonna shit all over their cooking and personal tastes