*Wheeze*

due to inflation you must answer my riddles five

due to budget cuts i will grant you two wishes

due to recent layoffs there is only one of me and I lie 50% of the time

how are people mean to stuffed animals one time i was trying to clean up my room and tried to justify giving away a stuffed animal by saying 'well its a little ugly' and immediately i was just overwhelmed with monstrous guilt and i understood the concept of a catholic hell and i was going there

OH. can’t believe I forgot about such an important part of art history my apologies

you look like the kinda girl who'd open up ms paint back in the day select the spray paint tool and click and hold to watch it slowly turn into a perfect circle

im sorry i said "awooga" when u took off ur clothes do u still wanna fuck?

Not swag for me personally.

leave him alone (swag)

Down with the monarchy, swag

literally nothing fucks as hard as soup and bread