buy my silence ♡

I WAS WRONG

YOU ARE NOT

I heard "make your own stress" advice till I was in my early 20s then started hearing people I trusted tell me to slow down. And I didn't listen because my thought was if I control the deadlines, if I control the stress maybe that will give me some control over the breakdowns, the panic attacks, etc...

And it did for a while, I was overworking myself to the point where I knew I would have some sort of breakdown daily around the same time, which I thought was great! Think of how much more okay I can seem, I mean be, if I could control the times my brain won't let me work.

After several years of that, and without really noticing when it happened, I stopped being able to push myself to work as hard or for as long, chronic lung problems I had as a kid and thought I'd outgrown came back, my body stopped processing B vitamins correctly for a while, and my brain would throw me into dissociating whenever I tried to get my body to do anything. I genuinely had to have someone help me move my body to sit up because any time I tried to get my brain to affect my body I would just kinda disconnect and go blank and not want to move anymore. Artists interpretation here but WOWIE it seems like my body did not trust my brain after all the shit I put my body and brain through. Also the constant disassociation slowed down after a couple weeks, so no one's worried abt me.

I don't share that as a scary PSA-style "if u don't change u could end up like this!!!" But to make this one point saliently clear.

I like a tall woman with a nice big ass, like Grammy winner, Megan Thee Stallion

leg so hot

hot hot leg

leg so hot u fry an eg

*touches ground*

I think I remember that someone once compared Jung Yeseo to Scum Villain's Shen Qingqiu (Shen Yuan; who are both transmigrators), and Cédric to Luo Binghe but actually thinking about it, it would be more accurate to say that Christelle fits the role of Luo Binghe more.

They're both the original protagonists of the novel(s) who are able to emit that "sticky, clingy, aegyo-esque character infatuated with the MC like a duckling/puppy" energy on the surface, but who are actually pretty brutal on the inside.... it's so gap moe (or should I say reverse gap moe?? Gap Horror). Christelle as a heavenly demon and the Emperor of all realms is also just an amazing vision too. She's rlly the type to act cute with peerless immortal master Jung Yeseo(Jesse Venetiaan)(who, after transmigrating, is only acting peerless and untouchable but is actually The Silly of All Time™) while being ruthless and mischievous behind his back. The kind of character who only shows one bright side and facade while harbouring so much darkness. SO WOLF IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING CODED. SHE WOULD FIT SO WELL.

MEANWHILE CÉDRIC....... ISN'T HE MUCH MORE LIKE LIU QINGGE HAHA—both Yeseo and SQQ used them as vehicles at some point in their respective narratives 😭 The one-sided feelings absurdly beautiful and handsome young master from a wealthy family swordsman... Cédric who vows to stand by Yeseo's side like a protector, a silent but devoted sentinel..... War God Cédric who is somewhat aloof yet has his own gap moe tsundere-ness if pushed far enough. The type that would leave presents at Yeseo's doorstep without any more elaboration that would leave Yeseo confused about his intentions.... THE SOCIAL INEPTNESS (BUT HE DOES HIS BEST). IT'S PERFECT.