kazik

Name: real one is Vica, but I like Kazik cause it’s silly and my friends gave me it

Age: 18

Birthday: 1st december

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: uuuuh idk i think i’m boring :( (hetero)

Hobbies: 3 years ago i’d say programming, chess and reading, maybe also physics, but at this exact moment i say sleeping. Oh and reading also yes. I love “a little life”, “the gray house”, “kafka on the shore”, “six of the crows”

Fandoms: next to normal, homestuck, epic the musical, omori, the owl house, resident evil and a lot more that i cant remember right now…

Music: i dont have specific genre of music i love, but i have some favourite bands/musicians like lemon demon, jack stauber, щенки, дайте танк(!), ночные грузчики, валентин стрыкало

Also I’m half russian half armenian (russian mom and armenian dad) but i can’t speak armenian or know much about armenia BUT i speak russian so don’t be afraid if sometimes you’ll see cyrillic symbols here

Since 20th february ive had the same thought about my future leading to nothing and how it doesnt make any sense. Its no matter if id achieve my goals or not, if id find the love of my life, if id become a billionaire, if the world suddenly changed to better or worse, i still dont want it. I dont like the concept of being and living

The first reason i dont attempt is because my friends and family. Not in the “I need to keep going for them!” but in “Im forced to keep going because of them”. It feels like im in cage because of them and the only reasonable exit is locked from me

The second one is that suiсide means im a hypocrite. Ive been telling people about how they shouldnt do it and they might be shocked after finding out that i dont follow my own advices. Also means I was lying to them

Well im afraid of the pain too. Fucking coward

for some reason i like this doodle of little kitten looking at the night sky

It was very disappointing to wake up

LOVE YOU TOO