Being creative means sometimes you’ll get competitive and start comparing yourself to others. It’s not healthy and sometimes causes you to burn out, stress and doubt your own creative abilities.
A part of the process in learning to heal is to not only forgive the people who made you feel so competitive and bad about yourself and work, but to forgive yourself.
Here’s a personal story. A few months ago I was extremely competitive, so much that I ended up burning myself out and stressing people I loved. I’m not a huge YouTuber, and I’m not a typical gamer either. My channel took a huge amount of time to get where I wanted it to be, becoming so many different things at once instead of focusing on one main goal.
To be honest, it really bothered me (to the point of almost quitting) that so many newer girl gamers got so much recognition and support after only being on YouTube for a few months. They jumped on trend bandwagons and acted like every other girl gamer out there (oh heck you know how they act, let’s be real), considering themselves to be “original”.
Of course everyone has their own cup of tea, but to see them gain 1,000 of subscribers for even producing something that wasn’t even high quality, getting the amount of support they did hurt me so much.
Was I wrong to think that way? Yes. Should I have let it bother me? No. The content I produce is high quality, taking days to complete with the team I have put together over the last few months. Am I proud of that? Yes.
The advice in this video isn’t coming from someone who has that huge following, but does that matter? No. I’m still human, consider me a friend if you’d like. Numbers shouldn’t make me think any less of my content because I know I did my best and that looking at someone else’s work shouldn’t bother me.
I’ve been able to connect with an amazing audience, have helped others and charities and have really made some awesome friends along the way. Today I still suffer from my competitive nature, but I’m beginning to forgive myself and others. It’s a beautiful feeling to have once you just wake up one day and say, “You know what, I just don’t care anymore about what others have. I’m me, and no one can do what I do and that’s that.”
Trust me, I’m still trying to better myself and I know it’s hard. I’ve been on both sides of the fence. So maybe one day you and I will both be better versions of ourselves. Let’s keep on doing our best and never give up.
