Grown.

it’s like rock paper scissors: baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby

Guy who is touch starved but emotionally repressed goading you into punching him for completely normal reasons

Teenage boys at recess

Having ADHD is so fun because sometimes youre looking for something that you use regularly and definitely put away in a smart and reasonable place and you have absolutely 0 hope of remembering where and finding it. And then other times ur like "hmm I need a some kind of small pointed object. I feel like i remember seeing a paperclip under the left couch cushion a month ago, i wonder if its still there" and it is

"wait but if u saw the paperclip why would u just leave it there?" its the adhd. Also if i had put it away then i wouldnt have been able to find it a month later when i needed it. So. Checkmate neurotypicals.

theres bikes around the city you can rent but you have to use an app that needs your drivers license. theres buses that drive right to your destination, but if you dont have change you need the app. you can wash your car here if you sign into the app. you can go to the bathroom here you just have to unlock it with the app that needs your location on. you can order at this restaurant if you scan the code and download the app. im losing my freaking mind

Not now kitten daddy's googling his symptoms

Daddy has five days left to live

whenever i’m bored i go to r/petfree and scroll for a while because these people are so fucking insane and have cultivated an echo chamber that is so crazy and they don’t even know it. it’s like actually really funny

the citizens of Vienna looking at the Loos building

Absolutely the most creative and obtuse way anyone's roasted my boy, thank you

my mom says she’s not a hugger. but when i put my arms around her on a gloomy day or after bad news she’s the last to let go. my dad says he doesn’t want gifts on his birthday, but i see the way his face light up when i get him a card with a nice message and a box full of chocolate anyway. he’s just a kid inside, still. it makes him giddy. my brother never says i love you. but when i tell him “i just need to finish the dishes before i vacuum!” he wordlessly goes to vacuum the entire house before i can, and if he sees me struggle with a wrapper or a jar or a bottle he mutters ‘c’mere’ and opens it for me without even sparing me a glance. the thing is, people love you quietly, and you love them quietly, and the air is buzzing with tiny but grand gestures & once you look for them, you find them everywhere. i think that’s really beautiful.

"accessory not supported on this device" yes it is you stupid slut. thats headphones. you've known each other for years

Bastille was right. How am I gonna be an optimist about this. Also right about eh eho eho.

having audio processing issues is so humiliating like yeah i heard you and yeah i was actively listening but the problem is i dont know what the fuck you sayed