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@kattenmn

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omg if baby oil dissolves condoms what the fuck does it do to babies???
This may be shocking, but babies and condoms are made of different material
itās like rock paper scissors: baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby
Guy who is touch starved but emotionally repressed goading you into punching him for completely normal reasons
Teenage boys at recess
Having ADHD is so fun because sometimes youre looking for something that you use regularly and definitely put away in a smart and reasonable place and you have absolutely 0 hope of remembering where and finding it. And then other times ur like "hmm I need a some kind of small pointed object. I feel like i remember seeing a paperclip under the left couch cushion a month ago, i wonder if its still there" and it is
"wait but if u saw the paperclip why would u just leave it there?" its the adhd. Also if i had put it away then i wouldnt have been able to find it a month later when i needed it. So. Checkmate neurotypicals.
Problem is when the ADHD catalogue is out of date, when you go to check under the couch cushion for that paperclip and it ISNT there, sometimes your brain will just give you a montage of false memories of everywhere you've ever seen a paper clip, like this
theres bikes around the city you can rent but you have to use an app that needs your drivers license. theres buses that drive right to your destination, but if you dont have change you need the app. you can wash your car here if you sign into the app. you can go to the bathroom here you just have to unlock it with the app that needs your location on. you can order at this restaurant if you scan the code and download the app. im losing my freaking mind

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Joli Poli "Elysian Glow" Fall 2025 Bridal Couture Collection
Not now kitten daddy's googling his symptoms
Daddy has five days left to live
whenever iām bored i go to r/petfree and scroll for a while because these people are so fucking insane and have cultivated an echo chamber that is so crazy and they donāt even know it. itās like actually really funny
they get REALLY mad when someone calls their pet their baby and itās always somehow mixed with some borderline misogynistic complaint about how the birth rate is falling. just incomprehensible levels of discourse going on over there
like. what??? youāre mad because you saw dogs footprints in the sand??? not an actual dog or dog poop just. footprints? you are a human being living on earth. of course youāre going to see evidence of dogs being alive sometimes. are you like, ok?
Maya C. Popa,Ā from āSpringā,Ā Wound Is the Origin of Wonder
Mary Oliver, āDonāt Hesitateā, Devotions
Joy Sullivan, from "Instructions for Traveling West", Instructions for Traveling West
āOh boo hoo you shouldnāt ask your friends for favors weāre all adultsā
I just spent three hours pulling up carpet and staples for a friendās home renovation and we all did nothing but chat and joke and have wonderful conversation the whole time.
Helping somebody move or renovate or giving them a ride to the airport is functionally the same as going mini-golfing or playing a board game: itās an activity that you do that is made more fun by having good company, and which provides something to talk about when the conversation lulls.

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He's very handsome but every time I look at him my first thought is "who took your eyebrows, who did this to you".
the citizens of Vienna looking at the Loos building
Absolutely the most creative and obtuse way anyone's roasted my boy, thank you
my mom says sheās not a hugger. but when i put my arms around her on a gloomy day or after bad news sheās the last to let go. my dad says he doesnāt want gifts on his birthday, but i see the way his face light up when i get him a card with a nice message and a box full of chocolate anyway. heās just a kid inside, still. it makes him giddy. my brother never says i love you. but when i tell himĀ āi just need to finish the dishes before i vacuum!ā he wordlessly goes to vacuum the entire house before i can, and if he sees me struggle with a wrapper or a jar or a bottle he muttersĀ ācāmereā and opens it for me without even sparing me a glance. the thing is, people love you quietly, and you love them quietly, and the air is buzzing with tiny but grand gestures & once you look for them, you find them everywhere. i think thatās really beautiful.
"accessory not supported on this device" yes it is you stupid slut. thats headphones. you've known each other for years
Bastille was right. How am I gonna be an optimist about this. Also right about eh eho eho.
Can we normalize this?
Like please please please??

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having audio processing issues is so humiliating like yeah i heard you and yeah i was actively listening but the problem is i dont know what the fuck you sayed