Please
Cosimo Galluzzi
noise dept.
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Misplaced Lens Cap
will byers stan first human second
DEAR READER

ellievsbear
$LAYYYTER

Love Begins
Cosmic Funnies
Three Goblin Art

Discoholic πͺ©

@theartofmadeline
I'd rather be in outer space πΈ

izzy's playlists!

β

Andulka
Not today Justin
tumblr dot com

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@kate-literally
Please

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okay but waking up in the middle of the night to soft rain and knowing youβve still got hours to sleep, when youβre toasty warm and comfortable & sleep has made you forget all your worries and responsibilities and u go back to sleep feeling as content as ever
whew thanks!!!
When your stupid wizard parents force you to make the bed.
this is a fucking cinematic masterpiece
Fun fact: Kevin Parry, the dude in this vine works for Laika and did animation on The Boxtrolls and Kubo and the Two Strings.
ive reblogged this before but not with that last addition
Same here.Β Thatβs impressive.

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Me 10 years ago: I never use online abbreviations! standard english all the time!
Me a couple of years ago: u kno wat fuck it
Me now: it is impossible to communicate effectively online without using internet slang due to the mixed mode format and lack of paralinguistic features. Things like lack of punctuation, abbreviations, acronyms and such all have their own connotations and communicate far more than their commonly accepted meaning. Linguistics has evolved. n u kno what i love it
This is mesmerizing to watch.
actually physically painful to watch because you know months were spent masking all those frames for each of the kajillions of transitions in this
Holyβ¦β¦β¦..shmokesβ¦β¦.
Oh?? My god??
This still fucking cracks me up
omg when ladies talk about their wives and just say βmy wifeβ I just get so excited and happy because it is all possible and real. itβs so amazing and beautiful
DUDE my teacher canceled class the other day and so the next day we were all like oh no is everything ok?? and shes likeΒ βoh yeah its fine its just my wife wasnβt feeling good so i took her home, made her some soup, yknow fun stuffβ and i swear everyone in class froze for a sec cuz we never knew she was a lesbian but then we spent a good 30 min of class time discussing whether her wife actually ate the soup cuz we all know she sucks at cooking
that is the best thing Iβve heard all day omg
this is beautiful
I had a professor who would talk in class about her wife and their four daughters and it always made me go !!! inside. like, wooooow, family goals.
In my undergrad, I took a module that had two lecturers teaching it. The first was very butch and would occasionally talk about how brilliant her wife was in the field and would talk about her kids and general family life. Then the other lecturer took over classes, and she would talk about her wife too, and how brilliant her wife was academically. Then they taught a class together and the penny dropped. They were talking about each other and both thought the other was the literal shit in their area of media.Β
Itβs been delightful for me to watch my friends finally able to get legally married. Every time @crofethr says βmy wifeβ itβs like a chorus of bluejays dance around behind her.
I was at work at a deli a few weeks ago and this group of three women came in pretty late at night. One was the mother of one of them, and the other two were just being really cute and holding hands and cuddling and whatnot. One was leaning on the other and she seemed really tired, so her wife ordered for her and the mom was like,Β βMarried for seven years, they know each othersβ orders by heartβ and I honestly felt like Iβd been blessed
oh my god thatβs beautiful
one time a lecturer was discussing all the stupid reasons sheβs been called up in front of the board (which include an actual formal accusation of witchcraft) and once a student accused her of homophobia and homophobic statements and she walked into the formal board hearing with her only prepared defense beingΒ βremember how Iβm married to another woman ok thanks letβs go get lunchβΒ
dchxhgsfahKasggzjz oh my god
Iβm an optician and one day I had 2 women, one blonde and one brunette, come in to pick up glasses. I had the blonde try on hers while the brunette was talking to one of my coworkers. When she put them on I said, βOh looks like theyβre not sitting straight.β Without missing a beat she said βOh honey, nothing about me is straight,β and proceeded to pat her wife on the butt and say βHoney, did you hear what I said? It was really funny. Honey? Honey, I said nothing about me is straight.β
GUYS I AM 1000% SURE THIS WAS ME AND FLIC In no small part because I make this joke about twice a week and also I like Flic's butt @quartztiger any chance you're in Cambridge (UK)?
Famous Poems Rewritten as Limericks
The Raven
There once was a girl named Lenore And a bird and a bust and a door And a guy with depression And a whole lot of questions And the bird always says βNevermore.β
Footprints in the Sand There was a man who, at low tide Would walk with the Lord by his side Jesus said βNow look back; Youβll see one set of tracks. Thatβs when you got a piggy-back ride.β
Response to βThis Is Just To Sayβ This note on the fridge is to say That those ripe plums that you put away Well, I ate them last night They tasted all right Plus I slept with your sister. Mβkay?
Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening There once was a horse-riding chap Who took a trip in a cold snap He stopped in the snow But he soon had to go: He was miles away from a nap.
Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night There was an old father of Dylan Who was seriously, mortally illinβ βI want,β Dylan said βYou to bitch till youβre dead. βIβll be pissed if you kick it while chillinβ.β
I Wandered Lonely As a Cloud There once was a poet named Will Who tramped his way over a hill And was speechless for hours Over some stupid flowers This was years before TV, but still.
THE ONE FOR DO NOT GO GENTLE IM CRYING
A chap from a faraway land Said two big stone legs (topless) stand An inscription fine ReadsΒ βthis shitβs all mineβ But all thereβs to see is the sand.
OMFG,
The Second Coming
The falcon flies wider in scorn All things fall apart, or are torn And now, what rough beast Will arise in the East And slouch Bethlehemward to be born?
Edgar Allen Poe, βThe Ravenβ: Enthroned on the bust by the door, The raven exclaims βNevermore!β Itβs rather annoying, For I was enjoying My mourning for dear lost Lenore. Edgar Allen Poe, βThe Bellsβ: Bells are quite noisy, itβs true, And each has a quite distinct hue, From silver and gold Different stories are told, Foretelling both glory and rue. W. H. Auden, βFuneral Bluesβ: Shut off the clocks and the phone, And let no dog bark with his bone: Let the planes overhead Only say βhe is deadββ¦ Now Iβm sorry, thereβs nobody home. T. S. Eliot, βThe Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrockβ: A man can walk down on the beach Roll his pants up and munch on a peach; He isnβt deluded And wonβt be included By mermaids that sing each to each. T.S. Eliot, βThe Wastelandβ: You called me the hyacinth girl When you gave sweet Shakespeare a whirl; The cityβs unreal, And the dead men donβt feel, So letβs let the storm warnings twirl. Lewis Carroll, βThe Jabberwockβ: βTwas mimsy out there by the wabe And all of the momewraths out grabe. The Jabberwockβs dead (Some kid took off its head, And his father said βYouβre my best babe!β). Beowulf: Terribly troubled, the Thane Demanded defense from a Dane For fierce in the fen Mighty monsters maimed men Great Grendal gave plenty of pain. William Butler Yeats, βStolen Childβ: Come on, human kid, and letβs go, Thereβs so much to see and to show. Run off with the fae, Hurry fast, skip away, And youβll never a mortal life know! John Keats, βLa Belle Dame Sans Merci": The sedge is all dry; spring has sped, And the birds that once sang have all fled. The merciless dame Goes on making her claim To young hunks who keep winding up dead. Lord Tennyson, βThe Princessβ: The echoes keep fading away With the splendor that ebbs with the day, But the castle is grand In this bright fairyland, And thereβs not that much else I can say. Christina Rossetti, βGoblin Marketβ: At goblin men we mustnβt stare, And we shouldnβt go to their Fair. Their fruit may seem tasty, But we canβt be hasty, And donβt let them play with your hair!
Oh my god, the Beowulf one. Β Oh.
holy shit, the merciless dame is perfect
I love the jabberwock!
Shakespeare, Sonnet 18
Have I called you a summerβs day yet?
Like the sun, and ur makin me sweat
Even Death is dismayed
Cuz you castinβ no shade
An I wrote this so peeps wonβt forget
Iβm in awe.
The Tygre William Blake
A tygre with dread symmetry did burn so brilliantlyΒ that I asked with a fright in the forest of night, βDid God make the lamb and thee?β
Believe Me, if All Those Endearing Young Charms Thomas Moore
My love whom I gaze on today, if all your looks faded away I would love you still more than ever before and in love with you always Iβd stay.
The Lady of Shalott Alfred, Lord Tennyson
A tender young lass from Shalott, was forbidden to spy Camelot. But within her mirror, Lancelot did appear, now the lass from Shalott is not.
Catullus 16 Catullus
To the old queens, Aurelius and Furius: your criticism leaves me quite curious. Do you think I am weak because soft words I speak? βcause Iβll fuck both your faces, Iβm serious.
Doom of Mandos
J. R. R. Tolkien
Here are a bunch of proud Noldor,
Who shall no longer come into Valβnor.
You slaughtered your friends,
To achieve bitter ends,
And shall shed tears un-numbered and more.

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βhave you tried weed to fix your mental illnessβ is just the libertarian version of βhave you tried yogaβ
i hate this so fucking much
THE VERY FIRST STAR TREK SLASH FIC PUBLISHED
βA Fragment out of Timeβ, published in 1974. Kirk / Spock. page 1 page 2
I had to share it with you because I canβt stop laughing, and every time I reread it it just gets funnier and fUNNIER
This fan fiction is older than the push-through tabs on soda cans.
Your grandma wrote this on her Commodore 64.
I miss my Commodore 64
Oh my dear, sweet children. The Commodore 64 came out in 1982. This was produced on a typewriter and probably mimeographed. And while it may seem funny now, it took more courage to write and distribute this than you will ever Β know.
Reblogged for that last comment.
respect your elders
Children, in the olden days fanfiction was written on a typewriter, copied and sent by snail mail. Getting one one of those letters from across the world was every bit as exciting as getting a notification that your favorite writer posted a new fic.
Itβs been said before, but the fact that this fic begins with the dialogue assertion βWeβre by no means setting a precedentβ is endlessly amusing to me.
Diane Marchant changed all our lives. May she rest in peace.
this should be treasured forever.
I'm crying this is delightful
Wow π―ππΏππΏππΏππΏππΏππΏππΏ it looks so real.
What the actual fuck
βAnna for you to sit here & call Trump a racist is outrageous"
βwell lemme do it again and lemme do it in two languagesβ
SHE ENDED HIMΒ ππ
[Murders you on national television in Spanish]
Iβm the guy in the middle smiling when she said it in Spanish π
βEs un racistaβ π©π©ππ½ππ½ππ½ππ½
PUΓETA DALE DUROOOOOO.
God, I love this so much

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So Embarrassing π»
This is my new favourite thing and I shall cherish it forever
me: *is frustrated*
me @ me: dont u fuckin do it
me: *starts tearing up*
me @ me: OHHHHHHHHH MY GOD