3 Hobbits In A Trenchcoat

to falling in love with her wife

to KISSING her WIFE

[ survey.gendercensus.com ]

The 13th annual international gender census, collecting information about the language we use to refer to ourselves and each other, is now open until 13th August 2026.

It’s short and easy, for most participants it takes 5 minutes or less.

After the survey is closed I’ll process the results and publish a spreadsheet of the data and a report summarising the main findings. Then anyone can use them for academic or business purposes, self-advocacy, tracking the popularity of language over time, and just feeling like we’re part of a huge and diverse community.

If you think you might have friends and followers who’d be interested, please do reblog this blog post, and share the survey URL by email or at AFK social groups or on other social networks. Every share is extremely helpful!

Survey URL: https://survey.gendercensus.com

The survey is open to anyone anywhere who speaks English and feels that the gender binary doesn’t fully describe their experience of themselves and their gender(s) or lack thereof.

Thank you so much!

Pet Foolery, #93

Don't get me wrong, he did not react well to The Whole Thing. I'm not absolving him of ANYTHING there. But deciding that he's irredeemable, deciding he's a bad person, deciding that he's as bad as every other MTL player (save Hayden) is incredibly reductive and, honestly, I hate to say it, but it's pretty fucking immature.

Because in the real world people fuck up. In the real world, people react poorly in highly emotional situations. And it is pretty fucking important, actually if a loved one has had a bad/negative reaction, has done and said hurtful things, but then COMES BACK AND TRIES TO FIX IT, after he has had time to examine why he reacted that way. That is fucking huge. It's huge and it's RARE, and it's so, so good.

J.J. showing up on Shane's doorstep to talk it out is so fucking brave. Shane letting him in (physically and emotionally) and allowing him the opportunity to talk it out is ALSO so fucking brave. And it is truly beautiful and valuable and GOOD that the ten year friendship they have is important enough -- on both sides-- for them to do the hard work to mend it.

Repairing something that has been broken is an important aspect of any long term relationship. It's important for J.J. to see why he was wrong, and for him to be the one to reach out . It's ALSO important for Shane to understand how his secrecy (no matter how well-justified it is) and hiding and lying has impacted ALL of his personal relationships, because a huge theme of the book is that Hollanov don't exist in a vacuum, and cannot live in a vacuum!!!!!