Life of Dork

I don’t remember what it actually said.

But I read Trans Cube

And then never touch one again without understanding what seasoning, butter, sauces, par cooking/timing are.

You do not throw all vegetables in the pan at once. Onions and cabbage take like two minutes. Carrots need to be par boiled before you even think of sticking them in a pan. Peppers need several minutes.

AND ALL OF THEM BENEFIT FROM BUTTER, SALT, SOME KIND OF PEPPER, SOY SAUCE, CREAM SAUCE, ANY SAUCE/CONDIMENT THING

I woke up and my first thought was

They are ahead because I obsessively explore every area and quest so ive been getting texts like this

These are the best snickerdoodles out there.

I KNOW whole wheat doesnt belong in dessert but trust me. They are fantastic and soooo easy.

You can ignore the sticky note.

I would like to say that in the game he isn’t a mage, or a healer, or even a defender.

Just dance made it so easy to dance and sing and have fun regardless of skill level and genuinely worked up a sweat.

The farther you go somehow the more random ass they get.

You’ve got your standard Bible ones.

Hell is real, Jesus gave his life, Heaven or Hell.

You have the political ones.

Currently we have a very…. Very… white old man running for governor. He has flannels and a cowboy hat…. In Ohio.

After that you start seeing things like Grandpas cheese barn. Or grandpas cheese and cider barn. Or grandpas pottery barn, or his wood carving barn/shed.

When you get reaaaal out there we get to the worlds largest pick a totally random obscure thing that no one cares about section. I’ve heard of worlds largest cheese, worlds largest hammock (that actually was a fun store), and worlds largest prairie dog.

Then in the dinky towns there are the signs for the obscure museums. “Museum of the special dirt only found in this county”and “museum of vacuum cleaners” (those two I made up but I bet they exist)

Then we havethe weird not national parks but nature preserves I guess? Anyway passed a couple signs for an Egypt wildlife preserve or something. In Ohio.

Then finally we get to the advertisements. My personal favorite from a trip years back, it was in Kentucky I believe. It stated “buy her a diamond ring and you’ll get a free gun”

Why do you always draw bedheads no one goes around like that?

*person about to invent manga*

Spray this bad boy in your home and within 24 hours all the smells will be gone.

Including your house.