The Korean American 외국인

First off, long time no talk. I’m pretty sure no one follows me anymore, but I can’t be bothered. Needa get this off my chest.

Just told my school I’m not renewing, something I’ve known for quite a while, and I thought I came to terms with it. When I broke the actual news to the staff, I realized just how attached I’ve become to the students here, the people, and the culture.

That isn’t to say everything’s been perfect because that’s certainly not the case. I’ve been frustrated more times than I can count. My students dragged me down to hell and back again, only so they could send me back down one more time. But they’re my little devils, and coming to terms with saying goodbye is already very very hard. I can’t imagine the flood of emotion I’ll feel come February.

I’m looking forward to whatever ventures are stored for me in the future, but it’s crazy how impactful this short saga has been on my life, and I still have months to go.

I was trying to find a quote that expresses how I feel. I didn’t find anything I like, but something popped into my head instead. Ironically it was (and to an extent still is) such an intrinsic part of these kids’ lives this past year.

Korea's got some crazy ass strain of the cold virus. This thing won't go away. I'm coughing up phlegm all the time, my nose is runny, and my throat feels drier than Death Valley.

I miss home. Let me clarify. California itself can suck it. I don't miss it at all. Sure the weather is nice. What makes home.. home for me are the people I have left behind. I miss them all so damn much it hurts. I never thought I really relied on social interactions to be happy.

In spite of all my laughs and memories I'm already starting to make with the people I have met in Korea (and this is no knock on them for my sadness), I just miss my small group of friends back home.

Yesterday our little group was talking about dreams and sometimes they'd wake up with tears or puffy eyes. I kind of scoffed because I rarely remember dreams. I didn't wake up with tears in my eyes today, but I did wake up with overwhelming sadness. Whatever I dreamed about had spurred me to write this post instead of getting ready for work. 

It's been a long time since I posted. Sheesh.

Herm... Had an interesting experience at the train station on the way home today. Dude was piss drunk. He was carrying three (pretty heavy) boxes. The last one was so heavy that when he tried picking it up, he couldn't lift it at all and fell on his face.

So I helped. He was grateful, and I think okay cool time to go to my seat and get a nap. Nope.

So he gives me some eggs. Yay thanks man; I needa get on my way. Nope again. 

He gets mad that I won't accept more and more of his stuff and starts yelling for me to stop. He gives me a bag and puts what he calls pig potatoes. Cool. And dates. Cool. Thanks man. Now there's unwanted attention on me and this dude. No one wants to be made a fool when they're drunk, and I'm just a lowly foreigner; they gawk and stare anyways.

While I think everything out of this experience should have been positive, there's something grating about seeing a 40 year old man piss drunk off his face at 4pm causing a scene in a train. I've had my fair share of drunken days in college, but I'd like to think that by the time I'm 40, I wouldn't be making myself look foolish in public due to alcohol.

I think if this situation would have happened again, I wouldn't change anything, but at least I'd know not to go in all cheery. 

I don't know where I'm going with this... it was just.. weird.

~~~ 

I guess every day has its ups and downs.

Keeping this one short.

Let me just say that this is an utter lie. Especially when it comes to teaching a foreign language. I've never been so rattled in my life. When the medium in which you speak is not understood, how can students learn anything?

Korean school culture is very different. I was expecting some chaos, but I thought I'd have a schedule by the 1st week. I still don't know all the details of my main school. I definitely do not understand what to do in my other two schools. 

After being told I was only responsible for doing an introduction presentation (something that shouldn't take longer than 15 minutes), I was told that the class isn't over, and that it would proceed for the next.. wait for it.. 65 minutes. That's right an 80 minute class. 

I think EPIK Orientation was great; however, I think they gave us very idealized versions of what our schools would be like. Albeit, the staff is very friendly, the students are eager, but the English comprehension is simply not there. When we had the co-teaching demonstration, I was thinking that the English level of students would be pretty good. Meh. Meh.

Speaking of co-teaching, the way it worked (thus far) is (step 1) that I speak in English. (Step 2) The students give me blank stares. (Step 3) The co-teacher then reiterates what I said but in Korean. You may think, "Hey Peter, maybe you're speaking at too high of a level." And you're damn right; I am. But when "My name is ____" is too high of a level, where do I start? Especially when I have to follow the guidelines of the textbook?

I think what the Korean government is trying to do to further English speaking is very admirable and is in the right direction. However, it seems like the system as a whole is treated as a black box. Not only that, but it appears that there's a "No Student Left Behind" approach to English. I think if the government is paying to have native speakers in Korea, it would also be in its best interest to increase the importance of learning English in its schools.

I can't wait until I get into the groove of things. I think once I understand my students' English level fully, the teaching process will be much better, and consequently the learning process (for the students) will be much more straightened out as well.

It's been a rough three days, but I'm actually very excited to see how this year progresses.

I was scared that my low self-confidence and shyness would inhibit me from having a good time at orientation. It's only the beginning of Day 2, but I'm already having a great time here. The weather is great and sunny (unlike Seoul for the time I was there) and the people are super friendly. Also, something I didn't consider when I got to orientation was the plethora of English accents I would encounter.

There are four classes here, and by some stroke of luck, I was nominated to be a class leader. With a semi-serious speech, I somehow got the position. Hopefully some semblance of leadership will do me well here.

My roommate is also a pretty cool dude. He plays guitar super well. AND he's from Indiana, which is awesome. I didn't think I'd encounter many people from the Midwest here. Aside from him, I've made some other good friends. I just hope we can stay in contact after orientation is over.

Today's the medical check-up. Is there anything I should be worried about? Nah. I had a blood test taken about a week before I left for Korea, and my numbers were superb. Unless the food here is devastatingly terrible for you, I can't imagine this going poorly for me.

I think tomorrow is the Culture Experience Day. I'm just excited to eat the lunch: bibimbap (비빔밥). This city in particular is known around the country for producing the best of it. Yum.

I was expecting some sort of revelation when I landed in Korea. The only revelation I was greeted with was how much of a westernization had occurred in the country since I last visited. The cars look the same; the clothes look the same; everything's the same. Except for.. everyone speaks Korean and the food is different. 

That's kind of comforting; it doesn't feel so foreign that I am lost, but it's foreign enough that I understand I am an outsider. 

My uncle owns some property in Gangnam. What this means for me is that I have a gym really close to where I'm staying up until orientation. The family has been extremely welcoming to me. One of my cousins was a TEFL teacher in Korea. She taught in a hagwon so whenever I need help with translation she is right there to help me out. 

In spite of a horrendous flight (I was next to a baby who would sleep for 30 minutes, then wake up and cry; rinse and repeat) that left me to no sleep, I didn't have any jetlag from the get-go. I've been waking up around 8 every morning and I feel refreshed. The food has been amazing, though I know my family has spent some extra $$ on it lately because I've seen a lot of meat. 

So I mentioned my cousin. Well I'm the LATE child of the youngest daughter in the family. What does this mean? That means that my cousins' kids are all my age. Haha.. well my nieces are showing me around Seoul today, and I'm super excited. Yesterday I was with my uncles, which is great and all, but it's nice to be around people my age finally.

Damn I near cried when I left for the terminal. My mom kept waving at me. I wanted to look and wave back, but every time I did, I wanted to tear. I'm beginning a new chapter in my life, so letting go is obviously not going to come easy. I know once I spend a little time in Korea and get settled in, I will start considering it my new home.

I am a social person but I don't think I rely on other people to bring me happiness. I guess I downplayed how big of an impact friends have made on me these past five years. 

Firstly, Kathy. Haha my ex-girlfriend. You're wonderful; I don't know if I'd be have the person I am now without you. You let me be myself, and not only do you accept who I am, but I also think you secretly like it. Secretly. We're well on our respective paths now, but we'll be talking often. Even though we're not together, I still care very deeply about you. I hope by the time I get back you'll be in grad school doing big girl grad school things :D

I guess I should lump the rest of my hallmates here too. You guys made my freshman year of college memorable. I still argue we had the best hall ever. In spite of our varying interests and our unwillingness to ever drink, I am ever thankful for your guys' presence in my life.

Among these hallmates: Matt, Jon, Erik. You guys have been a huge part of my college experience and I'm eternally grateful to have met you guys. This isn't to downplay the rest of ya'll. I love you guys very much too. Just ya know.. living with them for 4 years, you kind of have to like them or just hate college. I chose the former.

I'm in a fraternity. People always say, "Why do you pay for friends?" With the friends I've made through the Greek system, I'd pay it multiple times over to keep them in my life. In particular, my immediate family. Meghan, Wiz, Reza, Magic. I love you guys. I think we have one of the best families out there. We sure as hell have our differences, but I think deep down inside we all care. I will miss you guys so much.

Surprisingly (not really..) I was kind of a huge dork in high school; I don't think I would say I made many friends, but one in particular has been pretty important in my life. Diane, freakin Oklahoma girl, I love ya. I'll miss you, and hopefully you can come visit. I bet you by the time I get back, you'll own an oil derrick or something. Also if you visit your aunt and uncle, you better freakin visit me.

I realized I haven't bought my principal, vice-principal, and co-teacher(s) a gift yet. I'm thinking a box of chocolates from Sees (seriously East Coast, you should try some of this stuff too; it's awesome.) It was ~50 degrees at night yesterday and I couldn't stop shivering. I can only imagine what it feels like close to 0 degrees. 

Before I go, I need to eat some Viet food, American BBQ, Thai food, and.. that's about it. I think all my cravings have been satisfied. I'm running out of time!

I love the Winter Olympics. As a native Southern Californian, that may seem rather perplexing; it's not rooted in our warm culture to be akin to the cold snow and ice.

Of course then you have the plethora of snow sports that are always fun to watch. I don't know many of the athletes' names, but they do some crazy stuff I'd never be able to do. It's unfortunate that athletes train their whole lives and get very little recognition for what they do. I wonder how many sponsorships a biathlete could get.

I'm not one for snow sports; the ice is where the action will take place this year. 

Let's get this one out of the way: curling.  I don't know what it is about curling, but it gets my blood boiling. I don't even know all the rules, but for some reason I get very passionate about wanting the US to win this. It seems like a very "gentlemanly" game; yeah like.. ice golf if that were a thing, but I end up screaming my head off at the TV. I don't know why. 

You got your individual and team figure skating. I won't like; I don't watch this stuff outside of the Olympics, but you can sure as heck see the dedication and practice that these athletes must go through to glide so gracefully on the ice and through the air. (On a side note, you know when they do those crazy fast spins? How do they not get dizzy?) I'm going to point out the Kim Yuna is so awesome. When I first saw her, I thought she was bad because everything looked so easy. I thought the skill wasn't there. Then I realized she was just making the hard stuff look effortless. It's like she was born on the ice or something. I don't know; it's insane.

With speed skating, the US and Korea both send strong contenders. The US had some amateurs last time around who have developed into household names. In particular you have J.R. Celski: just look at his boyish charm. 

Korea is sending out Sin Da-Woon, Don't be surprised if you see both these guys in the finals of the 1500m!  Look at him taking his turn here like a boss.

Okay okay okay. HOCKEY. HOCKEY IS HERE. I LOVE HOCKEY. SHORT SENTENCES. CAN'T THINK. My local team, the Los Angeles Kings, are sending SIX players to the Olympics. Six of our twenty men are going to represent their country. That's insane.

Drew Doughty (D) and Jeff Carter (F) will be representing Team Canada. Yes, they're good. Yes, Canada has the most elite team. 

Slava Voynov (D) is going home to help Russia win it at home. Russia's pretty darn good too. Plus, this is on international size ice, so players who are in the KHL have an advantage.

Anze Kopitar (F) is going to be representing Team Slovenia. They're the team that's just happy to be there. It's their first qualification for the Olympics. Oh yeah, and his dad is the coach.

Dustin Brown (F) and Jonathan Quick (G) are going to be representing the good ole' US of A. I'm going to be upfront about this; our team could be better. Leaving out speedy players who can take advantage of the larger ice was a stupid decision, but hey, I'm not paid millions to call the shots. 

Oh yeah, and who said hockey players are ugly? Look at Sweden's own Hendrik Lundqvist (G) (I don't know if I spelled that right.) I swear he stops shots because players get caught staring into his dreamy eyes. He's an all-star goalie, and I have to say, I think Sweden is going to win. They've been the most consistent team through the years. 

Man I love winter. 

Got my visa today. Now I play the waiting game. And then the packing-at-the-last-minute-because-I-played-the-waiting-game-too-long game.

Boy, I didn't think I'd be getting so emotional over buying a plane ticket. It's getting all to real now. I've never lived outside of California; it's my home, and it's all I really know. 

I just bought my ticket out of home, and I won't be coming back for a long, long time. 

Short post. Just freaking out now.

Red meat, happy me

Why's there none in Korea?

No meat, depressed me.

~~~

I just had some meat, and I'm going to miss it.

Look at meat in all of it's glory. Look at the smothered cheese. Look at how Americanly big these burgers are. If this doesn't scream "Amazing!!" to you with the sound of a million bald eagles, I don't know if anything can help you, my fellow Americans.

And look at this fine specimen right here. Meat in it's purest form. The only thing that has be altered is some heat so that it won't kill me or give me the most massive of runs when I eat it. Salt? NO. Pepper? NEVER. A1? SAUCE IS BLASPHEMOUS. I just want to taste the pure indolence of a happily grazed cow.

~~~ 

Ultimately, I have no idea how I'm going to do it in Korea. I love this stuff way too much. Not to mention there's beef brisket, pho, Korean dishes that sprang about in America that use beef, and so so so so much more.

That's not to say Korea doesn't have its fine share of dishes, but something I love about living in the United States is that I can eat whatever I want, and it will be a high quality version of that food. It's such a huge mixture of cultures here that I can have fine Italian food for lunch and dine on the most delicious Indian food for dinner. Then for breakfast the next day I can hit up a diner. But wait, I feel like getting a little drink on? Let's hit the Irish pub for lunch. I was kind of feeling Thai for dinner.

My mom is quite simply the best. She bought me this over-the-top Columbia winter jacket that I believe will keep me warm on the coldest of days. I could only test it out in this 70 degree weather, but it looks cozy. She used to live in Chicago, so I hope she knew what she was doing when she bought it. 

Oh, and it's green to boot. My favorite color.