#surprises

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 6 months now, which doesn't seem very long, but it's my first kinda real relationship. Both of us are 18. My bf likes to do this "thing" where he'll tell me he's doing something, then I'll ask him to elaborate, and he'll refuse to. He does this with gifts, walks, dates, and random vague stuff.

He'll say, "Come on, let's go on a walk," and then I'll say, "Okay, where?" And he'll say, "You'll see," and absolutely refuse to say anything else because it will "ruin the surprise." I hate weird surprises like this. I want to be emotionally prepared for whatever's coming next, and my bf has a way of being intentionally vague and cryptic (something he's admitted to me before) that makes me really anxious, especially since he's been venting a lot to me lately.

The worst is when he talks about doing things "behind the scenes" or doing so much for me, but then nothing happens. Or when he's driving me somewhere and he won't tell me where we're going. I don't think he's doing it intentionally, but it makes me so nervous. I've told him multiple times that this behavior bothers me, but he refuses to stop or understand where I'm coming from. He usually says, "That takes all the fun out of it," or "I know you don't like surprises, but I don't understand why." More recently, every time I ask him to stop or to give me a heads-up, he gets mad at me for asking, saying stuff like "I'm not ruining the surprise; just do it!" Or "I don't understand why you just don't get it?! Why are you being so difficult?"

I really care about this guy, but our relationship has become so stressful. Sometimes I feel like I'm overreacting because it's not that big of a deal, and usually the "surprises" are nice gestures. He tells me I'm overreacting and that I should just let him do the surprises. AIO?

Reddit consensus: NOT OVERREACTING (NOR) (95% confidence)

Top comment: “His fun. Losing his control over you is ruining his fun. NOR, this is a big red flag.”

Notable comment: “He IS doing it intentionally. You told him it bothers you, and he continues to do it. NOR.

I also hate surprises. I told my partner this, and it did take two or three conversations to really click, but he very rarely surprises me now, and when he does it's always in little, pre-approved ways.

Like, "hey, I found a cool rock or some wildflowers on the way home" or "good morning, I doordashed us breakfast and I got you the same thing you wanted last time" are great, but "hi, I extensively rearranged our furniture while you were gone, including reorganizing your desk" leads to a panic attack and "I made us plans/reservations/got last-minute tickets, we need to leave in an hour" I'm just straight-up not going.

Spontenaity wasn't a deal breaker for my partner, but No Surprises was a deal breaker for me, so we're happy without it. If sounds like spontenaity is a deal breaker for your boyfriend, and No Surprises is a deal breaker for you, so you're fundamentally incompatible.

But the blatant disregard for your feelings on the subject is...oof. What a jerk.”

View on Reddit

came home to this surprise from my man 😭😩🥰

RE: Henry Boseley: How To Fix A Boring Character || The Closer Look I can tell you the idea of reading the book before watching the movie is a tremendously bad idea, unless you want to add more stress to your life; I've been waffling back & forth on whether to stab the adaptation or simply accept the artistic license allowed each time a tale is retold. It just feels needless to do this but at the same time when you like s/o's body of work, it's one of the best ways to ease yourself into fast-tracking maturity as you learn to embrace your shortcomings & inability to avoid messy emotions bc acceptance & learning demands we throw-up a sos for help with being a keeper of the peace—rather than an intellectual snob who assumes there is only one way to do things..I can see from the last few days there is something divine in the way YHWH turns bad for good, it is a wellspring for learning to appreciate a clash of ideologies—pausing long enough to see there is a choice we must make: resisting the pull to be right rather than loving/kind, or not. But even in the course of saying or doing the wrong things, we can always learn from the tumult that results & journey thru the chaos of unchartered waters just as Odysseus had to bc we too have a knack for learning things the hard way. Isn't it the way? It reminds me why eating from the tree of good & evil has shattered our ability to just remain calm in the face of things we do not understand bc we have reasons to be biased against it—since we are an unknown goopy composite of hope & fear in the right/wrong things. https://www.youtube.com/@TheCloserLook/videos https://youtu.be/9mIfEDacNzU?t=1322

Radiohead: No Surprises (1997) https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq19-LqvG35A-30oyAiPiqA/videos https://youtu.be/u5CVsCnxyXg

SPOILERS

P.S. I have not even seen the movie yet, I've been looking up what everyone is saying, just bc I want to know all the anomalies ahead of deciding whether to go see it or not. And I kid you not, yesterday during the live stream s/o said how boring & useless Athena was bc all she did was give a blank stare throughout the entirety of the 3hr epic; and tbh it was the exact moment I said to myself, "I am definitely not going," but then unexpectedly this post surfaced about why Athena seems to be a mute fly on the wall—Nolan does not do magic, he can only acknowledge some ppl believe in the supernatural but he cannot bring himself to say real magic exists. One part of me is like yeah the Greek Myths are not real but another part of me is like, wait does this mean he is also dismissing all religions—that's when I want to stab the movie to death. But it also makes sense he would say this with most of his films since none of us can believe anything beyond a shadow of a doubt; at best we can only acknowledge s/t happened, even if we witness s/t miraculous like that guy walking away from a flaming plane crash last June. We're like anything that is left out uncovered, the moisture evaporates & it can become drier than Ghandi's flipflops (my favourite Gordon Ramsay insult, if you have a better one plz share in the comments). Point is unless GOD fills each of us constantly with HIS inexhaustible source of living water, we're all going to walk thru life as an atheist.

72वें राष्ट्रीय फिल्म पुरस्कारों की घोषणा शनिवार शाम को की गई, और यह बहुत सारे आश्चर्य के साथ-साथ उचित मान्यता भी लेकर आया। संगीतकार शाश्वत सचदेव ने आर्टिकल 370 के लिए सर्वश्रेष्ठ संगीत निर्देशन का राष्ट्रीय पुरस्कार जीता। इसे व्यक्तिगत जीत से अधिक कृतज्ञता का क्षण बताते हुए, शाश्वत हमें बताते हैं कि यह उपलब्धि उन लोगों की भी उतनी ही है, जिन्होंने मान्यता मिलने से बहुत पहले उन पर विश्वास किया…

AN – Just some cute fluff in this story. I hope you enjoy!

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“Happy birthday, Miles!”

Miles looked up and saw Phoenix standing there.

“Oh, is it my birthday?”

Phoenix chuckled. “Yes it is. And don’t worry, I didn’t plan a huge party or anything. All I did was get you a present.”

Miles nodded. “Good. I’m not one for celebrating my birthday.”

“I know.” Phoenix nodded. “So, when did you want to open your gift?”

“Hm…” He thought for a moment before saying, “How about when we get home? I still have a lot of work to catch up on.”

Phoenix nodded. “Alright.”

He then kissed Miles’ forehead. “Don’t work yourself to death now.”

“Likewise.”

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After a long day of filing paperwork and preparing for future trials, Phoenix and Miles were on their way home.

“I can’t wait until you open your present.” Phoenix was saying. “I’m just imagining the look on your face!”

“Is it really that impressive?”

“Yep!”

Miles fondly shook his head all the while secretly wondering what this present was.

After they’d entered the house, they changed into their casual clothes and settled down on the couch. Miles could see how fidgety Phoenix was and so he sighed and said, “Alright, let me see what you got me.”

Phoenix grinned, both excited and nervous as he grabbed a box from his bag and handed it to Miles.

As he began opening his present, he got confused. Inside of the box was just another smaller box.

This pattern continued as each time he opened the new box than another box would be waiting.

“What is this?”

“I’m building anticipation.” Phoenix simple responded.

Miles shook his head as he opened the next box. Finally, one final box remained. The smallest of them all.

Phoenix looked incredibly fidgety as Miles glanced at him.

“Go on.” Phoenix whispered.

Opening it, he saw a small black velvet box. It didn’t look that remarkable but he opened it and gasped.

For inside of it was a ring.

“…Is this…?”

“Yep!” Phoenix giggled somewhat nervously, blushing. “I-I wasn’t sure how to go about getting it or how to give it to you. But thankfully, I was able to find one I really loved at an affordable price and I figured that since you don’t usually like grand romantic gestures, I’d do something quiet and personal.”

Miles, in the mean time, was staring at him and staring at the ring. Back and forth, as if he were still comprehending what was happening.

“You alright?”

“Phoenix… I…”

“You don’t have to answer me right away, if you don’t want to.”

“No, no. I… I do…”

“You do?”

“But first, I want you to actually ask me.”

Phoenix blushed but nodded. He grabbed the ring box, got down on one knee and asked with a slight stutter, “Miles Edgeworth… W-Will you marry me?”

Miles smiled. “Of course, Phoenix Wright.”

Phoenix grinned giddily and carefully slid the ring on his finger.

“I love you, Miles.” He told his now fiancé as he kissed him.

“I love you too, Phoenix.”

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