KaiserinJacky

How do I explain Plato's allegory of the cave to my cat?

gato’s allegory of the fishtank

we have to stop moralizing the human condition and start jerking each other off while making out

They say that sudden, intense cravings for very specific foods are usually a sign of a vitamin deficiency. If so, that I'm presently making myself french toast, scrambled eggs, and a bacon and cheese sandwich at 11:45 PM must mean the vitamin I'm missing is grease.

I cross-posted this to Bluesky and got followed by a bunch of folks with blog headers clarifying which exact flavour of Christianity they adhere to because they thought I was making a hashtag-relatable post about cheating on your diet. Now we get find out how many of them are also comfortable with posts about werewolf cock.

Somebody tell every pizza place that charges 3-4 dollars extra for gluten free crust

I know nothing about Doctor Who lore but I feel like the Cybermen and the Daleks are both the descendents of two exes who both designed robots.

just the two of us / we can make it if we try.

Living in a conservative part of a blue state and watching tv during an election year is really trippy because nationally people are like oh you’re all liberals over there you don’t know what it’s like living in a conservative area but then the local attack ads are like my opponent wants to be NICE to ILLEGALS and the RADICAL TRANS AGENDA and BURN DOWN POLICE STATIONS. You should vote for ME. I will SHOOT immigrants PERSONALLY in THE STREET. I am a former NAVY SEAL. BARK BARK.

god today i ID’d an old dude buyin booze and he pulled out a fake ID with an elvis pic, then laughed and pulled out a matching one but with curly from three stooges on it, and im like okay please and he finally pulled out his real license and his legal name was steve sinner

that was the devil

Sorry to anyone who doesn’t think shit like this is funny but this WILL be me if I manage to live another 20 years.

i will not lie, friends in my phone, i have been imagining affection from time to time

Christian babies have so far not found a purpose or use outside of baseball

must feel good as fuck to curse a prince for being rude to you while you were larping as an old woman for no reason