this bitch empty yeet

im full of rage and dangerously stupid but god is holding me back by the scruff of my neck like a kitten

when will a husband and wife who are widely rumored to be vampires invite me up to their once-gorgeous mansion which has fallen into some disrepair and then serve a beautiful meal that they barely pick at, sipping from glasses of dry red wine instead as they take turns complimenting me borderline-salaciously while shooting each other conspiratorial looks that i don’t know how to interpret before one of them insists that it’s getting far too late for me to be going back home alone and now i simply must spend the night…..

in case the implied ending wasn’t clear enough: and then i get railed.

this is what he does instead of drinking

I can’t tell if this is a shitpost or actual advice. But I do know geese are the fucking worst.

Actual advice! Just yeet a goose

Yeet the geese

“I’ve done this so many times that I’ve lost count”

i’m the geese

public high school things •naruto kids •kids punching windows •kahoot •"miss…..miss……c'mon" •leaks coming from everywhere •screams from every direction

•jeopardy review games •chicken nuggets that are orange and all the same shape •people fighting for no reason •couples who make out in the hallway like they’re never gonna see each other again •those kids who take the bathroom pass and disappear for half of class

•clapping in the middle of lunch for no reason? •only going to the homecoming game •being embarrassed by the student art in the hall •that one teacher that no one calls mr./Mrs./miss/etc but instead just their last name •hearing yelling from other classrooms and wondering wtf is going on????

- People who stop in the middle of the goddamn hallway - That one kid who always has a winter coat on no matter what - ‘Gay table’ - Kids who rap/blast rap music in the hallway - “—– Please take off your hood/hat.” - The bell doesn’t dismiss you I do - We still have 3 minutes left don’t pack up yet or you’re getting a detention - Mysterious ceiling stains - Smoke coming out of the bathroom -People who skip class and hide in the bathroom all period instead of leaving

have u ever seen something so american like… wtf

This all sounds so fucking weird…

You mean this isn’t normal

bruh

i was in hot topic like 2 days ago and im immeasurably angry every time i go and more of the, like, 3 square feet of space in HT is dedicated to fucking funko pops and disney merchandise. half the rack of band shirts they used to have is GONE and replaced with like bnha shit. please i just want a nice edgy band shirt or like some skinny jeans or something

this is an emo rights violation

you ever just feel like walking out into the desert to rebel against the corporatocracy?

did you mean: danger days, 2019

“No love fore the Police!  NYC . Seattle . Oakland”

post-apocalyptic wastelands are a criminally underused gay romance setting

no homophobia, just 2 lesbians, their dog and the horribly irradiated mutant creatures they encounter during their travels across the blasted wastes of civilization

mii channel theme playing while my dead body floats down a river

my jam: a character narrating past events to another character, intercut with scenes showing that they are lying wildly

WHeERE IS THE AUDIO????

straight people ARE stinky

wig!