Clark wanted to be an architect. He wanted to design, most likely have his name known and be something BE someone. But he’s not. He’s never been an architect. He’s a sales man and a shitty one at that.

I myself am a fraud of a “professional artist”. I create, and sketch, and write but I have nothing to really show for it. No completed projects. Just a a decade worth of art that not many people care to see. I’m stuck working meaningless jobs that I don’t care for just so that I can put food on the table and yet I will refer to myself as an artist every single time someone asks.

It’s who I am. It who I’ll always be. My love and passion for being an artist is much like Clark. I want it. I crave it. I will go in sane for it but there is a chance I may never reach that dream. I’m no professional I’m an amateur at best and a hobbies at worse.

I relate to Clark on his anger and persistence when it comes to being referred to as an architect . (definitely shouldn’t have treated people the way he did but regardless ) I’ve worked so hard to get to this point in my art experience and I’m still going round and round on my hamster wheel of creativity. Clark the complex man you are. No one can make me form a solid opinion on you .

The only difference between most of us and Clark is most of us want to change. We want to do better and become the version of ourselves we have in our heads. Hopefully we can evolve in ways that Clark refused to. I’m an artist and I must create.

I thought I could never care for anyone again, until I met you.

Yes, I was tearing through books constantly, and talking to this teacher at least weekly. Because even though I always loved reading as a kid, literature was always a very weak subject for me in terms of a teaching-to-standardized-test school setting (I just do awful on "what color were the curtains" type multiple choice questions. Those details don't stick in my memory THEY JUST DON'T). But that didn't matter for this class. I could just read my way out of any bad test score. I have always had fond memories of how I "fudged" my way through that class and "abused' the extra credit policy.

Why might someone from a group of people that historically have been denied access to wealth, now brag that they have it?

“Rappers only talk about sex!”

Why might someone from a group that have historically been denied sexual autonomy now brag about their sexual escapades on their own terms?

“Rappers only talk about drugs and crime!”