Defiant whumpee who copes with (dark) humour dialogue
Whumpee: *standing in line for the teller at the bank*
Whumper: *walks in wearing a ski mask and waving a gun* “This is a robbery!”
Whumpee: *very matter-o-factly* “Actually, sir, this is a bank.”
Whumpee: *being held at gun point as hostage*
Whumper: “I’ll do it! I’ll shoot them!”
Whumpee: “do it, no balls”
Whumpee: *in captivity, being interrogated*
Whumper: “If you don’t tell me what I want to know, you’ll get the whip again”
Whumpee: *eyes wide* “You can’t! My cellmate and I were using the grid to play connect 4 and I was winning!”
Whumper: *throws a wet rag at whumpee after torturing them* “Clean yourself up.”
Whumpee: *gasps, whispers* “Master has given Dobby a cloth.”
Whumper: “I’m going to enjoy torturing you until you scream. I can’t wait to see you broken and hear you begging me for mercy.”
Whumpee: “Seems to me like you’ve got some deep-seated emotional issues. Have you considered seeking professional help?”
Whumper: *walks in later than usual*
Whumpee: “You know, if the teacher is 15 minutes late to class you’re free to go. I think the same rule should apply here.”
Whumper: *laughs evilly at whumpee’s pain*
Whumpee: *mocks their laughter*
Whumper: “Nobody is ever going to come for you.”
Whumpee: “I bet that’s what your ex said when they dumped you.”
Whumpee: *is given plain bread to eat*
Whumpee: “Would it kill y’all to invest in some peanut butter? Mayonnaise? Anything?”
Whumper: “You’re worthless. Nobody loves you and nobody ever will.”
Whumpee: “In other news, water is wet.”
Whumper: “You look so nice covered in your own blood.”
Whumpee: “I bet I’d look even better covered in yours. Let’s try and see.”
Whumpee: *being moved with other prisoners, singing quietly* “They’re taking the hobbits to Isengard.”
Other prisoners: *chanting softly* “To Isengard, to Isengard.”
Whumper: *shakes their head incredulously*
Whumper: “I will find you.”
Whumpee: “Oh, wait! I know this one! And when you do, you’ll kill me, right?”
Whumper: “Tell me what I want to know!”
Whumpee: *sing-songy* “Gimme gimme never gets, don’t you know your manners yet?”
Whumper: *goes to stab whumpee*
Whumpee: *dodges and grabs the knife from whumper*
Whumpee: “That’s what I like to call a pro gamer move.”
Feel free to add your own!