hows it hanging, fellow youths?

straight up it should be illegal for a physical storefront not to accept physical currency, or for restaurants not to provide physical menus

I'm assuming the above is a normie opinion (as it should be) so i do wanna go a tiny step further and explicitly state any laundromat that requires digital payment should be burned to the fucking ground

if a business cooerces its customers to download an app, i should legally be allowed to set both the business and its board of directors on fire

Additionally, it should be illegal for a vending machine to not accept physical currency.

got asked “why are you open on Easter Sunday?” by a very angry woman at work today…my literal sister in christ it’s because you are also here

if you think that god doesn’t want people to sell jeans today then ma’am perhaps you should not be buying jeans today

Shoutout to my dad who accidentally moved into an up and coming black lgbt neighborhood and was very disappointed to learn that all of his “new friends” weren’t actually interested in how to use iNaturalist or where he saw coyotes on his walks 😔🙏🏻

my most toxic trait is i fucking love work gossip. i play neutral not to be the bigger person or take the high road but to hear slander and hearsay from every side. two coworkers complained about each other to me in the same afternoon and i nearly blacked out from the rush

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

they should invent a cigarette that gives you vitamins and hrt and shit

TESTOSTEROEN CIGARETTE BEING SMOKED BY A BUTCH DYKE OUTSIDE THE BAR SHE SHOTGUN THR SMOKE INTO MYMOUTH I GET SO HARD I PASS OUT SMASH MY HEAD AND DIE

sorry that was meant for the tags

it’s okay. You’ve painted a beautiful and true picture

You may look at this and think this is an “incorrect quote” meme. It’s not. That’s the actual quote from the episode. Love this series.

Have politicians and oligarchs always been this fucking pathetic, or is this new? It's hard to take evil people seriously when they act like this, and I'm 99% sure that's why they do it. It's performative, it gives them plausible deniability, "they're not evil, they're just stupid." They're underestimated and downplayed, just another distraction.

Today I encountered an especially pathetic Italian greyhound. His owner told me that a gust of wind once blew him into a lake.