I need to get this off my chest because this teacher truly has a deep rooted hatred for me. I transferred schools 7 months go for my last year in high school, and Iām quite loud Iāll admit but I donāt think itās that bad that I should be inapplicable to graduate because of it.
Iām not rude, I try to be polite as best as I can, but Iām just very energetic around my friends. And I know for a fact that the boys in my class are 10x worse than me by liveliness, and I donāt think thatās bad; weāre a small class and we feel at home with each other.
Our class has been the biggest trouble this school year so far, weāve been at the guidance office more than I can count and it was always for different things. And yes, I am always included. Genuinely though, itās almost always because of roughhousing with my friends.
So the guidance counsellorāthis teacher.
I think she thinks that Iām the reason why this lovely, good, raised by this school children and classroom, is acting like this because of me. Iām thinking that sometimes too, but Iām not that bonded with my friends so I canāt say that for sure.
Her hatred for me must be so deeply rooted within her bloody soul to the point Iām certain that she prays for my downfall. She glares at me every single day, not look or glance, a full on glare. Her eyes are wide like sheās reprimanding me for existing and her brows are furrowed.
We had a recollection yesterday and we had to walk all the way from school to the destination for a good one hour because it was a way to āreflect.ā We had one partner for half the trip then you have to be by yourself after (no talking, just reflecting). Obviously, our legs hurt and we were all just leaning against each other. And I donāt think you can reflect well when vehicles are going past you on your left and the dirty river water scent was flowing to your right.
When we got to our destination, she was reprimanding us that we werenāt āreflectingā and some students were bothering other students and caused them to ānot reflect.ā She said that while looking at me dead in the eyes with that same glare she always looks at me with. She wasnāt even trying to hide it. She wanted me to know that whatever she was saying was for me. And I wasnāt even included in the walk for the last 5 minutes because I had to ride with the nurse since I had a fever.
But, of course, with her precious other students who were raised by the school, the ātransition people,ā the ones who snitched every time something happened and had the whole class involved so everyone doesnāt graduate but them, she was so sweet and lovelyāsmiling, gentle, caring, mother-like. Oh, but not me, not the transferee. She wants me out of this school.
I donāt know what I did to be honest, some of our classmates are much worse but sheās targeting me. She handles mental health stuff as well for the students (and she seems so understanding with them but us), being the guidance counsellor and all. She even said it herself, āThe people who smile, might be hurting. And the people who donāt, might not be hurting.ā So Iām genuinely surprised sheās throwing me with such devotion and determination into the fire with no regard of whether I have my own problems or not. Which I do have. A lot of it.
Cheers, maāam. Youāre guiding students and healing the world.