#lonelihood

To hate is to put time and energy into negativity. To be indifferent is to offer no care or devotion.

My hobbies don’t interest me and nothing I do brings me joy anymore. When I talk it feels mechanical and hollow.

I don’t want to die but I also don’t see a point in living.

I don’t get excited about things, I don’t have things I want to do anymore and I don’t enjoy my hobbies anymore. Everything is just a thing I do to kill time

I’ve never felt more alone

I’ve never felt more alone

Not even when I truly was alone

Not even when I was in my room with not even someone to say a single word to even if it didn’t get a response

I feel lonelier than ever

And

I don’t know how to make it stop

I don’t know how to not be lonely

I don’t know how to get close to people

And not scare them away when I get attached

I don’t know how to speak

Even when I most need to

I don’t know how to get out of my comfort zone

I don’t think I have one to begin with anyways

I feel uncomfortable constantly

Whether I’m quiet or not

Around people or not

It doesn’t matter

I’ve never felt so alone

So stuck with no where to go

Driving circles in my head till it bursts

Wishing I could be anybody else

Feeling unreal to the point I want to vomit

What is wrong with me

I’ve never felt more alone

With no escape

No one to run to

No one to blame but me

No one to cry to

Just what I am

The pink haired person

****** boyfriend

The random guy on the phone no one ever sees

The guy that sits aside from everyone else and is swallowed by his own self pity

The one in the quieter places at parties anxious to leave

The guy that lays in his bed all day scrolling for hours on end

The guy that walks to nowhere lost in his own thoughts

Forever lost

Who is he

Who am I

But just