Just Ash, The Writer

Donatello always believed romantic feelings were unimportant. Spending most of your time with another person, giving them your everything, why would anyone want that? All that time could be spent productively – in his case, by creating or updating his technology. Instead of going on stereotypical coffee dates, he would much rather stay in his lab. He could still drink coffee there without the audience. Doing what he loved.

When April brought you to the lair after the two of you were attacked by the Foot, he scoffed and refused to interact with you. His brothers warmed up to you quickly, he stayed far away, locked in his sanctuary. Michelangelo loved to play games with you, always offering you his favorite controller. Raphael acted like you were bothering him, but deep down you knew he would do anything to keep you safe. Leonardo enjoyed sharing his books with you, discussing the story once both of you read it. Donatello always left the main room when you came, only interacting with you when necessary. His brother kept telling you he would eventually befriend you, too, but after a few months, you gave up.

It wasn’t about you at all, Donatello wasn’t annoyed with you like he pretended to be. He was scared. Terrified. And confused. Back then, when he first saw you, your hair was a mess, your clothes were dirty from running away from the soldiers, yet his heart skipped a beat. To him, you looked like an angel, an ethereal being. And your personality was the cherry on top of the sweetest cake. The way you talked to his brothers, how you weren’t disgusted or scared of them, that made him fall for you.

For the next few months, the turtle kept observing himself. Conclusion? Slowly but surely, he fell deeply in love with you. It took him ages to accept that someone like him could be in love. He was rational, logical, a scientist, not some emotional love-sick puppy. He wasn’t supposed to spare any time for thoughts about you. But here he was, thinking about you when he wasn’t working and even when he was, you managed to plague his brain once in a while.

After finally admitting to himself that he was, indeed, in love, new fears kept him awake at night. Would you be willing to give him a chance when he pushed you away and made you feel unwanted? Would you want to date someone like him? People saw him as an animal, a mutant, a monster. What if you decided he wasn’t worth your time? Oh, how the tables turned.

For the first time in months, he started talking to you. It happened on a random Saturday, you were playing games with Michelangelo and he joined you, sitting next to you on the sofa. It surprised you, not once did he try to talk to you, but now here he was, helping you win against his little brother. Under different circumstances, the smaller turtle would complain about fairness. Today, he decided to let it slide. Donatello was coming out of his shell, which was pretty rare.

Since that day, he spent more time around you. The biggest change was his invitation to the lab. He came to you after hearing you talk about a project you needed help with and offered to lend you a hand. At first, your friendship was a bit rocky and weird. You had no idea how to talk or behave around him. He didn’t know how to not show his feelings for you. Until you brought him his favorite drink after he fixed your laptop. Your bond changed that day.

The two of you could talk about everything. You would come to his lab without knocking, placing a cup on his table and taking a seat on the beanbag he got only for you, complaining about your day. He would listen and make jokes, then explain what he was working on and even asked for your opinion. A lot of times, he even changed some details because of you. He valued your input over everyone else’s.

He kept a box with all the stuff you may need in his lab. It was hidden behind multiple security systems so his brothers couldn’t find it. You mentioned being cold in his lab? He had a copy of your blanket ready. He even made you a few safety devices so you wouldn’t have to worry about anything. Donatello would never say it, but he wanted you to be as safe and sound as possible. He even checked the cameras around the city when you had to walk home at night. Anything to keep you from getting hurt.

Donatello hugged you. Basically ripping his lab door out of the wall, you came in, ugly crying over a nasty fight with your friend. He was never good at these things, but he hugged you. He didn’t say a word, just grabbed you by your arm and pulled you into his chest. You sobbed into his plastron, hiccupping while trying to explain what happened. And he held you. The moment brought you even closer. You two started casually hugging or leaning against each other.

The touches made him feel mushy, sending sparks through his whole body. Your smell lingered in his lab long after you left and kept reminding him of the time spent in your presence. When you smiled at him or laughed at his joke, he would try to memorize it as best as he could. One time, he even stole your shirt, claiming he didn’t know where it went after your sleepover. It was now his favorite pillow case.

Donatello thought that maybe, maybe he had a chance. Until he didn’t.

You came to his lab like always, bringing coffee and a book he requested. You smiled at him, sitting down on one the beanbag. You put your bag away and took off your jacket. And then the cursed words left your mouth.

“I think I like your brother.”

Stupid. Disgusting. Feelings. The world definitely stopped. Once that sentence left your mouth, he swore his heart shattered. He couldn’t believe it. What did his dumbass brother have that he didn’t? Why would you choose him over Donatello? Was it because he treated you like you didn’t exist at the beginning? Was all of this his fault? But he thought you had a special bond, you practically became the closest friends.

He kept overthinking every interaction with you. Maybe if he had mentioned having a crush on you sooner, maybe if he was more… It didn’t matter anymore. You didn’t like him. He was only your friend. You liked his brother. His heart ached.

In the weeks that followed, you kept talking about wanting to confess your feelings. Donatello’s mood was quickly declining. He kept snapping at everyone, distancing himself, even from you. He couldn’t focus on his work, he even messed up multiple fights. You tried to talk to him, coming to his lab. And he snapped. He yelled at you to get the fuck out of here.

His heart broke for the second time. The look on your face, the fear, the tears, the way you tried to get away from him. He couldn’t handle it, but he couldn’t follow you to fix it, either. Not without admitting to loving you. He messed up everything. He cried that night.

It was a Saturday evening when you finally spoke to his brother. You were sitting in the main room, only you and him. Donatello left his lab to get coffee. He heard you. He heard everything. How you described your feelings to his brother. How he told you about his feelings, too. How both of you looked embarrassed and shy. Donatello froze in spot. And then you kissed.

His cup shattered on the ground, but he didn’t care. He heard you yell, but he was too much of a coward to stay. He ran to his lab, locking himself inside. You pounded on the door, but he ignored it. His chest tightened, a sharp stabbing pain spread through his body, making him bend over and grab his waist. Now there were more voices yelling. Donatello started coughing, choking on saliva and… violet petals?

Oh, and also, 10 random facts about me, just so we can get to know each other better.

I don't like labeling myself, I hate when people do (due to some trauma-related stuff, really, don't put a sticker on me, I will bite your nose), but if I had to, I would be a no-gender-bi-tch-with-a-pussy. That's why you can use any pronouns on me, I really do not give a flying-...

I have weird fashion style, one day I dress like a 14 yo boy, the next like a dominatrix, the in-between is whatever is comfy and weather-appropriate. I like this black-pants-shirt-vest style, but I also wear skirts and dresses, when I feel like it.

I had a lots of pets, currently I have an 8 yo wolfdoggo. I love wolves, btw. And turtles. I used to like cats, but that changed when I was like 12 or so. And no, I may play a lot of horse-related games, but I never really liked horses in the "favorite animal" sense. I think they are damn beautiful creatures, but that's it.

I started watching TMNT when I was like 8 or 9, so I'm a seasoned fan. Literally, I actively joined my first fandom in like 2013 or 2014. Oh, and it was the '87 show, I still have the DVD's (but only like 1/2 of the whole show, as it was not that popular here).

As you may know, English is my second language. In my native language, I used to write fanfics, but now I write something like psychological/psycho-horror novels. You may find my attempt at this here. I also send them into contests sometimes. If I may brag, I won 1st place once.

I'm extremely art-based person - as a kid, I played the flute and the piano (I don't anymore, tho I kinda miss the piano), I went to an art school and now I'm studying psychology and literature (and my native language) to become a teacher. I still draw and paint, I write a lot, but I don't play any instrument. When I have the money, I wanna get into playing the guitar. Idk, sounds interesting. And I also like creating stuff in general - I decorated my glasses, made a lot of charms and jewelry (you may have seen the Donatello one here). I plan on making stained glass inspired corner pieces for my window.

Some "weird kid" things I liked (and some I still enjoy): nightcore (I'm both angels, lol), gacha (mv/mm), those pictures-of-a-character-with-background-music videos, comics (rip readcomiconline), speedpaints (Miss Smile and Emala Jiss, my beloved), creating ocs (I still have my mlp one, lol), lemon and lime, edits of shows and characters on ytb/tt, creepypasta and SCP, anime, animation memes.

I will never admit to being a furry, because I am not. I just have a wolf OC, love anthropomorphic characters (literally writing a turtle/human fics), wish I had animal ears and tail,... But seriously, I am not in the community, so idk if you could even call me a furry. But hey, the pfp I have? That is my self-portrait OC (that I drew, ha!).

I love interacting with people who read my stuff. As much as I value my privacy and hate posting personal stuff on the internet (age, pictures, etc.), I get excited when people comment on my fics. Do it. Literally comment whatever, just do it. There's a 90 % chance I'll respond. But I'm also socially awkward, so like, there's the 10 % chance I won't know what to say.

The sky was dark, warm air reminding everyone about the season they were entering. Even at this late hour, cars were passing by as you walked down the street. Normally, you would still be at the library, but they had to close earlier today. Your mood was already sour from your fight with one of your teachers. He complained about your work being <em>too weak</em> and made you redo the whole thing. You wanted to finish it at your favorite spot, between shelves filled with books, but someone up there was against you.

As you stood in front of the door of your shared apartment, you reached into your bag and found your keys. You entered, already taking off your coat and shoes, before you waltzed towards the living room with your phone in hands. The lights were on, which meant April must’ve already returned from work.

“Ugh! I hope you had a good day, because I have to complain about this stupid professor!” you groaned as you entered, eyes focused on the screen.

I have an idea for a Rise!Donatello/Reader story (how surprising), where Reader is kinda besties with April (they live together, cuz they are both students). Because I'm lazy, I'll refer to Reader as R. So, R likes to bake and one day they come home expecting April to be there, but instead Leonardo is there (he wanted to see April, but she was late or something and R wasn't supposed to be home so early, yk, drama and shit, idk). He dared to eat the brownies R made and because R doesn't know about the turtles, they get scared and [imagine the rest here, lol]. Here, I wanna do the same I did with WLGYV - explore the friendship dynamic between R and a turtle (Leo in this story). I should do one with Mikey, I guess. We have an artistic nurse, now a student baker, what shall R be in a besties with Mikey story?