Dan

First of all you’re already a shitty parent for making arbitrary rules and trying to control their sleep habits. He’s 9 if he’s old enough to make castles in Minecraft and has no job or school to attend why the fuck does he have to wake up at 7 in the morning. Like you understand the sleep schedules most people are on has them not getting enough sleep. If he’s sleeping in till 9 or 10 he probably needed the extra sleep and it’s healthier for him to sleep in. Waking yourself up is not a skill you wake up when you’ve slept enough or when you have to cut your rest short for responsibilities.

You have a small handful of opportunities in life to be able to sleep as much as you want/need. One day he’s going to have to wake up just to work…let him be a fucking kid and sleep during the brief window in his life where he can and don’t be such a controlling bitch who needs to decide when people sleep and wake up simply because you squeezed them out of your body and they can’t stop you. 

Second of all having rules or boundaries is fine, I’m not some hippy that thinks you should let kids do whatever they want. But at 9 your kid is old enough to understand why there are rules so A.) Your rules should only exist if they have a reason and a purpose and B.) you should be communicating those reasons rather than making threats and issuing ultimatums. If you didn’t have a reason for making 7am the wake up time then to him it’s just some stupid rule you made up for no reason so why should he develop that behaviour if it’s only to please you. This do it because I say so shit is and has always been bad parenting. 

Lastly when you do have to punish your kid this is one of the absolute worst ways to do it. First of all it was not proportionate to the crime at all. This is the punishment for like finding porn and cocaine under your kids bed not sleeping in to 11. Taking away the game or system for a while is one thing that’s a normal punishment. I don’t care that to you it’s just a video game, it’s not about the game the fact is… You destroyed something important to him, something he was proud of and wanted to share with you, something he can never get back. And the people saying the only lesson you taught him is to not trust you or share with you what makes them happy are absolutely right. You have not helped make a more obedient or self sufficient child you’ve made a more secretive and distrusting one. Honestly some people might think I’m over-exaggerating but I think you’ve done serious lasting damage to your relationship with your son here. 

There are kids who even long into adulthood have secretive patterns of behaviour because of stuff like this. They try to hide everything they do from the people they love like it’s shameful or wrong to the point people think they don’t do or care about anything at all. The way some might hide drugs they hide everything. Get used to hearing “nothing” as the response to all your questions.

Here’s the other lesson you taught here, don’t try or put effort into anything because it’s pointless. Not only did he have a years worth of his time, energy and creativity wiped out…but it was wiped out by someone who is supposed to love and care for him. If even the people that love me are going to destroy the result of my effort..I wont put in any effort. You’re right to be worried about the fact that he wont even eat. If your goal was to defeat your son and break his will you did it, good job you are 100% the ass hole. 

someone: just relax!!!!!

me: