Just A Little Bit (Alot) Of My Heart♡

No matter how many mornings break

Or how many evenings fade

You’ll never be replaced

As much as I can, hello I say

And to you I pray

But nothing has helped this heart ache

I’ve tried everything, liquor, glue & tape

I smile everyday to keep the pain away

I will say this over & over for the rest of my days

sometimes it’s hard to find the reason,

the reason to stand up,

the reason to keep going,

the reason to keep showing up.

it’s always there, though your blind to it.

keep looking, try really hard.

there’s gotta always be at least one reason for you to smile.

once you find that reason, hold on to it.

tight- as tight as you can.

let your eyes sparkle,

your face glow,

your fingers tingle,

Isn’t it beautiful?

feeling grateful, for the little things-

make the biggest of difference.

can’t you see?

for physical things bring you greed.

love never fails and if it does,

It wasn’t really love.

the reason will always be love, plus you.

you’re worth it all,

please see that too.

Got passed another shot

I chugged it so fast, how could I not?

Impulsive me and drunk on your love all my senses I lost

And all the pain I had suddenly forgot

I jumped to you, hoping to be caught

You said you’d catch me, or at least that’s what I thought

I get too drunk in love, I need to learn when to stop.

I don’t trust myself,

please, tell the bartender I’m cut off.

I’ll always carry you with me

Wherever I go, there in my mind you’ll be

My angel forever, I look up to the sky and see

Your spirit is now happy

Smiling down at us, at me.

Sometimes I know you see me

Losing it - feeling empty

tears running from my eyes like crazy

But imagining you and your smile that’s the key

The key to the door, the key to light and suddenly -

suddenly because of you my love, the tears do go away and I become free.

when the only person you want next to you is a world away

you see them walking by but realize your mind is just playing games

your heart then melts to your stomach - the pain feels like like it’s made a home, there in your heart to stay

filling the emptiness, oh how much it weighs

you walk around heavy waiting for a better day

I just wish you had stayed

I may forget the way you looked

But I will always remember how you lit up the room

I may forget how your face was made ever so perfectly

But I will always remember looking at you and feeling like the luckiest girl in the world

I may have forgot how tall you were

But I will always remember how big your heart was

I may forget how your hands looked

But I will never forget the way they felt in mine

I also may forget how your voice sounds

But I will never forget the way it made me feel when you said my name

I may forget your physicality

But I will ever forget the way you made me feel

You made me feel so beautiful when all you felt was pain

I may forget to pray to you

but you are always on my mind

I’m sorry I cry every time I look up to say I say hi

But you have to understand - you were one of my hardest goodbyes

See you soon my love

See you on the other side

You lost someone who would love you to the ends of this earth

Someone who’d hold your hand through the very worst

Someone who’d wipe your tears when you cry or kiss them away...whichever you’d prefer

Someone who’d always hug you in return

Someone who’d always make sure you’re heard

Someone who’d always be your girl

Someone who’d make your flaws vanish to dirt

Someone who’d make you feel better in your own shirt

Someone who’d fix you up, your own personal nurse

Someone who’d you never find like again, this you’ll learn

But most importantly you lost someone you never even deserved.

Thank god you lost, your perfect girl

Because now she has a chance to receive the love she’s been

Giving and

Giving

And giving

And now it can finally be returned

To her

I think of you every now and then

who am I kidding, it’s every second of everyday that my mind can

I’m sorry I’ve been crying, I know you hate that- I just miss you and

I wish you were here next to me, holding my hand

But at least I have a picture, until we meet again.

You built my world up while yours was falling apart

You gave this heart a second chance, a restart.

I’ll never be able to thank you enough or even know how to start.

I’m so sorry I couldnt take your pain away, in our story that was the worst part

I didnt want our story to end, but you had to depart

Up to heaven you went-

And up went my heart.

I’m not myself, I’m broken

It’s been over a month since we’ve spoken

My pain and emotions-

Keep falling from my eyes creating new oceans

I promise you, I’m trying to swim but at times I just feel so frozen

Alone in this brutal world surrounded by all this commotion

I pray to you everyday - where ever you are, just know my feelings for you will never be stolen.

I dont know exactly what to say

All I know is I keep wishing for better days

And the day

We could just lay

Together and forget all the pain

You’ve been through hell and back I wish I could take it all away

Right now it’s not okay

Know it will be and my love for you will stay

I’m trying to keep it all together but I guess it won’t happen today

I’ve been a mess for days and days

And I dont know exactly what to say

Other than baby please stay

I just want you as close as you can be

To where I can feel and hear your heart beat

Living this life with you, I know id be complete

In my head I see it, laying...laughing with you, this thought’s on repeat

I’d never take advantage, your love I’d never mistreat

I just want you, my feelings are concrete.

why do I try to keep it all together

when letting go just feels so much better

staring at the door, won’t yet dare myself to enter

in a battle with yourself, you live in such terror

it’s so hard, it’s so scary to show my raw self altogether

forget the world, even to myself -

I’m scared I wouldn’t be able to control the fire within her.

fueling a fire I wouldn’t know how to exactly measure

burning slow is something I’ll never know how to do, ever.

My feelings for you have become utterly insane

Hurts so much to see you in this much pain

More than I could ever explain

But the sun will come out, love - and there will be no more rain

When this is all done we’ll celebrate in Spain

until then, by your side I remain

The universe knew

What she was getting you and I into

She takes away the fear of losing you

To her that just won’t do

This world was made for us two

Fate brought us together and love will get you through

I am here every step of the way, with you

There is no way I am changing my view

There is no way, I am losing you

Talking to the moon

I usually don’t pray but I have everyday since I’ve met you

So different since last June

After that, I thought to love I’d be immune

Who new that walking into that room

I’d find a new home to move into