sources are saying ohhhhhhhhh brother

“You should be at the club.” NO!! I should be at the joust!! I should be at the grail quest!! I should be out wandering the countryside challenging other knights!!

when u look at 2017 and think “oh that’s only like 3 years ago” and it’s actually 12,000 years ago and everything is gone and everyone you know has been reduced to ash and the world is completely different

every single school teacher should get paid $300,000 a year minimum and ICE agents should all die simultaneously in agony. this is my congressional budget plan

I love being friends with prostitutes and transsexuals and artists and drug dealers and perverts and queers

dont piss me off. next time you go on a trip im filling your house with galapagos finches. by the time you return, they've evolved to fill your niche. they're a better spouse to your partner. they're a better parent for your child. and? they're a better friend to me than you ever were.

they should make a job application process that doesn't feel like a deep and fundamental rejection of your humanity or right to dignity and respect

guy who is stuck in a timeloop but is too socially anxious to bring it up to anybody or change their routine just in case it turns out they're mistaken. like yeah you're pretty sure that it's been november 3rd for two weeks now but idk maybe that's the depression talking. it's fine.

Arguments with your mom can never just be about one thing it always has to be about your entire life and her parents and your siblings n shit under the guise of like, somebody needing to do the dishes

And then under all the layers of subtext it's actually about her currently having a headache

2019 will always be 1 year ago

And don't forget to stay up til 3 am every night doing nothing productive for no reason every day for a month

forget about touching grass, i need to touch THE SEA I NEED TO GO INTO THE WATER I NEED TO DIVE INTO THE SEA!!!!!!!!!!!!