Welcome to my life.

On November 17, my best friend turned twenty and we celebrated her birthday last Saturday. Since clubbing does not sit well with us anymore, we decided to do “wholesome” stuff instead. We went blind that night. We had nothing in mind. We just wanted to celebrate. 

We first dined at Grumpy Joe and tried the Toxic Waste (just them, I’m not fond of anything spicy anymore). But being the good friends they are, Cheska and Sela poured some hot sauce on our pizzas when Faith and I left to do something outside. We immediately caught Sela because she couldn’t contain her laughter when Faith realized that her pizza was already spicy. Cheska, on the other hand, smiled deviously as if she didn’t know anything about it. Lesson learned: never leave your food with your friends or you’ll come back to spicy pizza. So one got constipated, the other, I know he was just trying to conceal how he was really feeling lol. Since we were the last customers, we became unruly. Not to the extent of becoming wild, though. We just laughed our hearts out and talked about some really weird stuff. Faith and Sela kept laughing at me because I carried with me a slice of pizza when we left. What? It’s pizza. No one wastes pizza. It’s a crime to waste pizza.

We decided to go ghost-hunting after. It was a joke. We don’t really believe in ghosts. But we went to South Drive nonetheless. We parked in front of the then Hyatt Hotel where we were supposed to share ghost stories. Cheska tried to climb up the gate but five minutes after our arrival, a police car stopped in front of our cars. The police officer informed us that we weren’t allowed to stay there and we had to leave immediately. Being a lawyer’s daughter, I was warned that if I ever get apprehended, my dad would make sure I paid the price. So I panicked. I immediately got in the car and asked my friends to get in as fast as they can. 

My heart almost burst out of my chest when the police pointed out that the other car didn’t have a plate. I THOUGHT THEY’D ARREST US ALREADY! We didn’t say anything. I just reversed the car. When he saw me, he asked, “You. Do you even have a license?” to which I replied, “Of course, Sir. I wouldn’t drive if I didn’t have one, would I?” He didn’t answer anymore. Out of my anxiety, I stepped on the gas. Hard. My friends told me not to rush because it might raise suspicions. So I slowed down. Then Faith quipped, “He thought you were too young to drive!” Do I really look that young? 

Suddenly the other car turned and headed to the other direction. We had no idea why, they just shouted, “Follow us!” I was about to turn myself. And then the police was behind me, saying, “Oh, you’re going back again?” I was so scared. Why was the police following us? I didn’t know what to do so I took a detour instead. My friends and I thought the police would follow us again. Thankfully, they didn’t. 

When we finally lost the police, we called our other friend up. They told us they were waiting at the intersection going to Baguio Country Club. My friends were all laughing at me then. They found my panic-stricken reaction awhile back funny. Thank you, guys! Anyway, we just followed the other car. They brought us to a place we weren’t familiar with. And then one of our friends saw a sign that says, “To Sagada.” We all thought we were having an impromptu trip to Sagada! And then Sela teased, “What if they [our friends] aren’t really the ones in front of us? What if Lian calls up and says, ‘Hey guys, where are you? We’re at John Hay.’” We all got scared and cursed at Sela. And then Ojoj chimed in, “What if the other car doesn’t really have a driver?” Funny that we tried to go ghost-hunting just minutes before but screamed at the others’ scary jeers. 

The place has become eerie. It was quite dark and there were only a few houses in sight. We didn’t know where we were heading to anymore. I told Cheska to call Lian up. Lian’s phone was off. We all panicked, well, sort of. The others were saying Lian wasn’t really in the other car and we were about to experience Cabin in the Woods (the horror movie). 

Finally, the other car stopped. I parked my car too. Lian got off the other car. Thank goodness! So we got off ours too. And then we saw one of the most breathtaking views ever. It was midnight and the place was quite dark but we saw the outlines of mountains and the glistening lights of houses. They all looked like stars! We were all in awe of the view. It was beautiful! 

And then another police car came by. 

What was wrong with us that night?! Every time we try to hang out, the police comes by! 

They asked us what were doing there. We told them we were stargazing. It was true. The sky was utterly beautiful and definitely perfect for some stargazing. Thankfully the police officer said okay. I let out a sigh when they left. I knew my friends were laughing at me again because I was about to lose it. AGAIN. So we stayed. We just leaned against the cars, staring at the view. The moment was perfect. Friends, together, staring at the magnificent mountains of the Cordillera. I felt as if we were one those viral photos on Facebook, the one with friends who are stargazing as they face some mountain ranges. 

We left an hour after and headed to Suello Village. 

The time at Suello was our favorite. We bathed in the pale yellow moonlight. It was the perfect time to have a heart-to-heart talk with each other, us girls. The guys were busy doing whatever but it was okay, they didn’t bother us anyway. WE EVEN SAW SOME SHOOTING STARS! The first and last time I saw a meteor shower was when I was with them again, during Sela’s 18th birthday celebration in La Union. We sang, we listened to music. Ojoj said, “THIS IS BETTER THAN GOING TO PARTIES.” And it was. The moment was solemn. No loud music, no wild people. Just us, friends. 

It was then that I realized it was what I wanted. Remember when I said I didn’t want to go partying anymore? That was the answer. We didn’t have to go partying to have fun. All we needed was a quiet place to hang out at. 

All we needed were our friends.

I got home at three in the morning. My dad scolded me, of course, but when I told him how much I had fun, he just let it go. 

For the past three weeks I’ve been spending my Saturdays with my childhood and recently met friends. They were all drinking sessions. We went to parties and drank shots and beer, we danced ourselves to boring music and we actually enjoyed. I thought it was cool and fun. We were just being normal adult college students, weren’t we? We were just trying to enjoy ourselves with our best friends, talking about anything “under the moon” and forgetting about requirements and responsibilities. 

We all needed it anyway or maybe I NEEDED IT. 

On the first night I was back to my old self. I just didn’t care again. What beats drinking at home with your best friends, right? And it was the first time we did it. It was the first time my dad let me. It was sort of a dream come true. Cases of liquor and good company and good music...it was a night of pure bliss! And then I was cursing, I was dancing in a not-so-decent manner, I didn’t care because I was at home and they were all my friends anyway. They would not judge me. In fact they even took care of me. But if you didn’t know I was a Christian, you wouldn’t even think so, because I definitely was not behaving as one. 

I was careless. I was tempted. I gave in. 

The second week we spent it at one of the best clubs in the city. At first I was dancing again but everything eventually crumbled. For some time I just stood there, watching people around me dancing their hearts out to what my friends and I thought was dull music. That was the time I got to reflect on my actions. I was thinking, “Than, what are you doing?” I was attending Bible studies at school. I was talking about God online. But there I was, being worldly. I was being a hypocrite and I wasn’t even aware of it! 

That was when I realized partying is not my thing anymore. It was actually not fun anymore. It was boring and...useless. I used to love going to parties before. I used to feel the high of it. But that night, I didn’t feel any of it.

The third week I spent two nights in a “chill place” so I could hang out with my friend who was then about to leave for good. Same thing happened. I went there, telling myself I would enjoy this time. I didn’t. It wasn’t because of the place or the music. Everything was actually perfect. People were decent and the DJ was the best. But it was dispositional. I was just there, leaning against the table, observing my friends again. And I was busily reflecting on my situation again. 

Then and there I declared it was definitely not my thing anymore. My best friend told me it’s because we didn’t know most of the people we were with but why did I feel the same last time? 

Maybe it was God’s way of helping me get rid of my sins. Last night some of my friends were inviting me to a party again. I refused not only because I had to study for a major exam next week but also because I just didn’t want to anymore. God taught me that despite us having free will to do stuff, not everything is beneficial (1Cor.10:23). Partying is certainly not beneficial for me because I had to sacrifice my study time in exchange for nights of pleasure. And so I failed an exam the following week. 

We do reap what we sow. 

There are things that we find fun and tempting until we get attached to it. Maybe God allows us to experience them because He wants to teach us something and that is, that we don’t actually need those things and we’ll eventually despise it. For some time it’s okay. At the present time it’s okay. But in the future, you’ll realize you don’t want it anymore. However, God is still gracious because at the same time, He gives hope. The hope that we’ll gradually let go of the things that’s hindering us from living the life He wants us to. 

It’s been months since my last post. I just lost interest in sharing my daily activities and the lessons I’ve been learning from God. I lost interest in writing. For my “comeback” I’ll be sharing my latest activities.

On July 10, I finally had my own car. My brother’s on his first year of college already and he’s going to another university. I didn’t want to bother my dad anymore to bring me to and from school. I badly needed a car. I’ve been having personal driving lessons since July 25. My teacher is the brother of my dad’s client hence the perks of being able to visit the tourist spots in Baguio anytime I want to. I admit that despite being born and raised in the city, I’ve only gone to these tourist spots a handful of times. The last I’ve been to these places were years ago and I was surprised by how much they have changed. 

Just last Sunday, I drove up Mt. Sto. Tomas and visited the renowned La Presa. Today, we visited Mines View Park. My last visit was in 2010 and I was with my boyfriend at the time so I wasn’t able to really appreciate the place. 

When you first enter the place, you’d see various kinds of plants lined up on both sides. Only a couple of tourists bothered to check on them. I’m not sure if it’s a usual thing since I’ve only been here a couple of times myself but most simply glanced at them. Some bought though.

If I weren’t acrophobic, I would have climbed up that enormous rock and captured the beautiful view behind it as I perch myself on top. Everyone was just so excited to take a picture as they sat on it. I wouldn’t blame them though. I find it quite difficult to climb and it’s definitely an achievement to simply reach it.

The horses are located at the right side of the rock. Three shots with them is worth fifty pesos. I didn’t ask for a picture because I’ve been riding horses since I was in grade school. In fact, horseback riding has been one of my hobbies ever since. 

I noticed as well that a number of tourists were wearing the traditional costume of the Cordillerans. My guess is they’re for rent but I just don’t know for how much. I’m glad they find the costumes beautiful.

This has to be my favorite place in Mines View. It overlooks the breathtakingly beautiful mountains of the Cordilleras and lush trees are everywhere. 

What I loved the most about it is the fog. It made it seem as if the sky bent down to kiss the mountaintops! It’s also quite chilly there so if you guys are looking for a place to best experience the renowned Baguio weather, Mines View Park is perfectly the place to visit.

Setting the spectacular view aside, I also loved the family bonding that surrounded me awhile back. Families and couples were all over the place. Normally I get irritated by the eagerness of people to take pictures of themselves to the extent that they’re already trying to own the place. But this time I loved it. I admired family members who just sat there and stared at the view in awe. I was glad to hear them joke around each other, laugh heartily as they took pictures together. It was actually great seeing them all bond together. 

Find your Personality Ty

For the past few weeks all I have been seeing are posts about fear and trusting the Lord. These are promises that I should not fear because He is always with me and that I should just trust Him.

I'm currently struggling in this area.

I'm having a hard time trusting Him because of everything that's been happening for the past weeks. I'm as frustrated in my studies and my relationship with people is definitely on the rocks. I just finished two of my first long exams for the semester and I don't think I did well. I try to uplift myself by saying I did my best and I'm pretty sure my professors are going to give considerations but negative thoughts have been bugging me all throughout the weekend. I fear for this semester and I don't think I can handle it anymore. We're only two months in but life hasn't been that smooth-sailing already. I really want to assure myself that God has a plan for me, I'm really trying to but it's difficult to do so when I all I am experiencing are pain and frustrations.

"Why is it that when I read novels, it takes me only one night to finish reading it? But when I read the reading materials my professors assign in class, it takes me two to three rounds of rereading it?"

Fun? YOLO? Do everything while you're young? Live like you're today’s your last day?

  I’m pretty sure everyone’s encountered these words or phrases already. Prior to my being a Christian, these phrases were my life motto. I promised myself I’d do all things, regardless whether it’s illegal or foolish, before I die hence all the things an ordinary adolescent nowadays would think of as living the “YOLO” life.

  True enough we have only one life to live. But let me ask you this question, why waste it living in sin? The world will be obliterated to oblivion soon. So why love it? Will you be able to bring these things and memories with you to wherever your destination is? Are you even sure you would be able to remember these things when you're already there, in the midst of blinding white light? Thus why is it such a big deal for us to continue living a worldly life?

  As it was said in Colossians 3:2 “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”

  I know it's hard, not to conform to the patterns of this world. I'm a teenager too let alone a human. And humans are weak creatures. We are all susceptible to temptation. We all easily succumb to sin. And the society we have today only adds oil to the flame. Most teenagers nowadays are influenced or pressured to do this and that, to have this and that because it has become the new norm. But in the end, where do you think will all these things end up in?

  No sure answer right? No one knows what will happen to us after our heartbeats halt. But we Christians know one certain thing: God gave us the assurance of eternal life the moment we received Christ into our lives and accepted him as our personal Lord and Savior. We are now certain that there's a paradise after death. Do you see yourself amid that paradise? Held by the arms of God? Can you see His beautiful face saying, "Child, I am proud of you. I know you had a tough time deflecting from the means of the world yet you still opted to obey and follow me. This then is your reward for living a righteous life on earth and for being the kind of person I wanted you to be." Wonderful, isn't it? Some of us are probably stoked for that moment to come. But how will God be able to say such if you're still living the former you? The earthly and unrighteous you?

  There are three detrimental effects when you ought to live by the world and not by the Word:

  1. You become an enemy of God. James 4:4 says, “You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.”

  Living according to the world means living in sinand living in sin means choosing the side of the enemy.We should always be reminded that the world is the kingdom of the enemy. And when we adhere to everything in this world we become an enemy of God because we choose to accede to the devil’s snare. We then begin to love the world as the enemy entices us with things that seem to be pleasurable but are actually decaying. So when we live according to the world we actually begin to disobey and turn away from God.

    2. If you live according to the world, you will get what the world has to offer. The things we should pine for are not supposed to be worldly because a worldly desire begets something worldly in return. And we all know what anything worldly is for the world is the epitome of flaw, a melting pot of distress, afflicted lives and conflicts thus a life at odds is what you will live thereafter.

  3.  You are trading the glory of what God has promised us for something short-lived. Keep in mind that the bliss is temporary.Nothing in this world is permanent. Gadgets, fashion trends, social networking sites itself, are fleeting as they “evolve” all the time. Do not trade what God has promised us if we live a righteous life for something that is passing, for something that will last for only one day, for only a few weeks, for only a handful of months.

  Let us hold on to what Paul has told us in 1Corinthians 7:31b, “For this world in its present form is passing away.”

  Now that we’ve learned the drawbacks of living according to the world, let us now impress on our hearts and minds what we should do when the enemy’s trying to lure us:

  Here are some suggested action points:

  Remember the 3D’s.

 1.     Destroy. Destroy everything that will urge you to commit a sin. Whether it’s a material thing or just mere thoughts, as long as you consider it sinful or not Christ-like, destroy it. Crash it with the power of the Holy Spirit.

  I copied this verbatim from the Call to Consecration letter that we read before the school year began, “Imagine Jesus is coming to your home to take a careful look in every room. He will see the things in your closets and drawers. He will see the music you listen to and the DVD’s you watch. He will look on the shelves at your reading literature. He will check out the refrigerator and examine your computer files. Nothing will escape His pure gaze.”

 2.     Deviate. Our discipler has once told us that when we are tempted to commit a sin, we should literally shout: “Away with you!” for us to be able to deviate from that particular sin.

   3.     Divert. When you’re being tempted, divert your attention to something else.  It was mentioned in Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” The best way of doing this is reading the Bible and talking to God. When you read His Word, be rest assured that He will distract you from committing yet another sin.