nice fishnets, nice tits

so, all athletes should immediately stop playing sports. construction workers, anyone with jobs that put them at risk, they need to find different employment. people with uteruses shouldn’t ever get pregnant, either. actually you know what? don’t enter a car or vehicle at all! and don’t even get me started on old people. what age do we think they should just give it up & throw in the towel? 50? 60? after that they become way too burdensome. it’s a problem.

I want to see the way your body struggles desperately to behave in the ways human bodies were designed to because of how incredibly fucking fat you've eaten yourself. Me having to sickly sweet encourage you to do things that should be second nature - "that's it sweetie, oh I know it's so hard, but just a few more steps and you can sit down". Us getting sidelong glances every time we exist in public as you wheeze against me, the spectacle of tiny little me hanging on to your thick arm trying to support you as you shuffle yourself forward.

You finally flopping back down into the couch when we get back, both you and it groaning with the weight. Breathless, red-faced with exertion and embarrassment that this is what it's come to. You're almost in tears. Between gasps for air - "I'm too big, baby, I'm too heavy, it's too much 🥺"

I disappear to come back with a near industrial size tub of cream puffs and mini eclairs and shush you gently as I pop one after another into your mouth to soothe you. "It's okay baby. I know. You're so hopelessly obese for me now, aren't you? Oh, you poor sweet pig. It hurts, doesn't it? You just say the word and we stop."