Jolene >:]

eating leftover chicken tenders over the sink, drinking a rum and coke I walked to the corner store to get, blowing off plans to leave the house to play videogames; we’re having a wet hot NEET summer baby

AND my tits are perfect!

never kill yourself. you have to fill your mutuals dash with shit they don't care about forever, okay?

this isn’t a “blog” we are having tea together. do you take sugar

being a trans woman is wild because i just wanna play tuoys with my friends and conservatives think this makes me personally responsible for the Death of Western Civilization but then i go to work and people are just like "hi ari hows it goin"

granted it IS a bit crazy-making that it is considered unprofessional to answer "i'm a bit stressed because the president and his party keep going on tv and saying i am a pedophile rapist who should be executed"

the masochist with sensory issues really liked when you bit it really hard on the arm, but can you please wipe the spit off now? please? ....why are you looking at it like that?

yuritastic is such a stupid fucking phrase that it earnestly upsets me that someone other than me came up with it. its my job to be dumb as fuck. what the fuck. whos out here blowing up my spot

whatever. its fine. im not mad. im fine. i still get to be the one that popularized lockerbait. thats always going to be a swagophile accomplishment. i dont need to come up with everything by myself

It’s okay, you’ll still be forever known for Plapsburg

STOP

Of course I contradict myself. I contain multitudes [suddenly getting defensive] But not in a plural way. I’m not plural [trying not to seem ableist] Not that there’s anything wrong with that [three year old alter takes over] Abaa, lalala,

everything going downhill but at least there’s still phone in bed time am I right.. ahah am I right

HEDGEHOG STEWSDAY