Joker-kun / Jackie-chan

saved Baldur's Gate from the Iron Throne scheme

killed Sarevok

solved the iron crisis in the SWORD COAST

engaged with the political power involving the Duke

in cohoots with the local thieves

killed vampires

casually soloing 20+ beholders

killed countless mindflayers (those bitches can one shot me)

killed 5+ evil dragons

killed demons

double crossing drow matriach in Underdark

survived magical dungeon in Spellhold

uncover many many MANY magical godlike weapons

“Hahah! I never feed them anything different unless it’s by the request of the Arl, boy!” He shouted back and put the hammer he used to fix the barn’s fences inside a bucket. The stablemaster walked back inside the barn to inspect Alistair’s work.

“Well, you did a very fine job, my boy!” he exclaimed happily while ruffling Alistair’s short blond hair and Alistair laughed along.

“Can I ride the black mare now? I did as you asked and I worked hard, sir!” Alistair asked while standing in front of Dennet.

“Absolutely not yet, boy! That black mare just arrived yesterday, and I haven’t done a thorough check!” The stablemaster put his dark, strong hands on his hips.

“But I did the chores that you asked of me! And I haven’t asked many questions this time. The horses can confirm it, just ask them,” Alistair said cheekily. A habit he used if he couldn’t get what he wanted.

Master Dennet put his large hands on Alistair’s thin shoulders. “Boy, I don’t want you to get hurt by these horses. If anything happens to you again, I would get another earful from Arl Eamon. You don't know what I heard when you scraped that knee the last time,” he said with exasperation.

“What did the Arl tell you? Am I being bad again?” Alistair tilted his head in curiosity.

“No, nothing you should worry your little head about boy. Say, let’s call it a night? You head back to the castle to catch some sleep. If anything happens… well, you know where to find me.” Dennet patted his head lightly and gave Alistair a swift smile. Alistair just nodded and trotted back to the rear castle door.

Alistair peeked his head inside the room he entered through the back door from. He managed to arrive at the castle’s kitchen. As he tried to peer into the pantry, he was stopped by one of the cooks.

“HEY! What are you doing, boy?” His booming voice startled the boy. Alistair turned and shakily answered, “O-oh, I’m.. uh.. I am hungry, sir…”

The cook seemed to know him and said, “Oh, it’s you little Alistair! You can take whatever you want if you haven’t eaten yet. But you must wash your own dishes and if you make a mess, no more spare food for you.” The cook grumpily left.

Happy with not being kicked out, Alistair walked over to a cupboard he could reach, took a bowl and filled it with lamb and pea stew, a special Fereldan delicacy especially in cold weather. He also took a chunk of sourdough bread and dipped it into the stew as he sat at one of the tables and ate quietly.

Alistair happily munched on his food he had earned after a long day of working in the stables. He was biting on his bread dipped in the stew, when Redcliffe Castle’s Arlessa and the wife of Arl Eamon, Lady Isolde, walked through the door.

Alistair swallowed his food and greeted jovially. “H-hello, my lady.”

Isolde didn’t reply, however. She did not even acknowledge Alistair’s existence and walked around the kitchen. She went to the pot still by the fire and lifted the lid to check the contents. She waved a hand and one of the kitchen servants arrived.

“Did the castle staff already take their share of the meal?” she asked the server coldly.

“Yes, my lady. Most of them already ate two hours ago,” answered the young elven server.

“Why is there still leftover stew then?”

“Oh, the cook, he left a little because… young Alistair hasn't eaten, my lady,” the server said with a waver in her voice.

Lady Isolde's expression turned flat, and after taking a short breath, she said to the server with her usual thick Orlesian accent, “Remind the cook and all of the staff again, that dinner should be on time and food should not be wasted. If they are late for supper, that’s their fault for not being disciplined with their schedules.”

“Y-yes, my lady, I will remind them tomorrow.” The server bowed politely.

Alistair swore Lady Isolde narrowed her eyes in his direction, before adding, “And make sure, the staff are properly groomed and bathed before entering the castle. The Arl wouldn’t appreciate it if there's a single whiff of stench in his halls. Understand?”

“Y-yes, my lady.”

Lady Isolde took her leave. A beat of silence later and Alistair was now left with his almost empty bowl. The server nodded apologetically to him.

“That’s okay. I can clean up after myself. You go rest up, Miriam.” Alistair smiled before resuming his meal. It had gone cold now.

“Oh, my lord, that’s alright, let me help you clean up so you can freshen up.” Miriam shook her head while walking in Alistair’s direction.

“Miriam, please, I am not a lord of the castle. That’s uncle Eamon! And I am a big boy, so I can clean up after myself.” Alistair offered her his brightest smile.

Miriam couldn’t help but smile with him. “As you wish, my lo- Alistair. I will take my leave now. Please, do not be late for tomorrow’s supper.”

Alistair just nodded enthusiastically.

After Miriam left the room, Alistair quickly finished his stew and bread and washed his dishes in the basin. He carefully placed them on the dish rack and headed in the direction of his room. When Alistair arrived at his door, it was locked. Again. Alistair sighed and went outside to the stables instead.

Alistair then tried to open the large stable door, and finally, a door opened for him. And it was not to his bedroom or inside the castle. Those rarely opened for him even in broad daylight. Well, no matter, Alistair thought, as long as there’s a safe and warm place to sleep each night. Even though it was not as soft as his bed, the stacks of hay were not that bad. Definitely better than the cage in the basement.

Alistair tiptoed slowly and silently so as not to wake the horses. He spotted a pile of hay besides the black mare he had fancied earlier. She wasn’t asleep yet. So Alistair trotted to a spot beside the mare’s stable.

He smiled widely and whispered, “Hello, milady! If you don’t mind, I would like to sleep beside you. I hope you don’t mind me sleeping on top of your food though, and not with you because your poop smells and I respect a beautiful lady such as yourself.”

The mare noticed him and offered a gentle huff. As Alistair approached his hay bed, she lowered her large head toward him. Alistair smiled and rubbed her nose. The mare huffed gently again as he softly patted. From then on, the mare was added on his short list of friends in the castle, and immediately she was his favorite. Maybe he could ask Master Dennet to let him tend to her, if he allowed him that is.

The mare noticed that Alistair tried to stifle his yawn, so she moved her head away so he could move to his bed. Alistair attempted to puff the hay so he could become comfortable. Alistair exhaled and took out the amulet with Andraste’s holy symbol carved on it. A gift from his mother. Alistair wondered where she was.as she alright and healthy? He also wondered if his mother would read him bedtime stories at night, just like he heard from the servers who had children in their quarters. That thought comforted him as he slept soundly into the night.

Some hours later, Alistair woke up to the sunlight breaching the barn windows and by something… wet and slobbery?

Alistair didn’t have time before his face was assaulted again and again by two sets of tongues and a couple of soft barks. Oh, he thought after a few licks, it was Daisy and Cooper, two of Redcliffe Castle mabaris that woke him from his slumber. Quite a slobbery awakening, though.

“OKAY! I’m awake now, pups!” Alistair laughed as he tried to free himself from the constant licking. Cooper seemed to catch his meaning as he stopped and waggled his tail. Daisy didn’t relent and insisted on licking Alistair’s neck and face.

“Daisy, I could take a bath myself. You would make me stink!” Alistair stood up to get away from his licking. Daisy barked once, but stopped her licking. Alistair petted both dogs..

He dried his face with his shirt, before he moved in front of the black mare and greeted her with a big smile. “Good morning, milady! I hope you had a good night's sleep!”

The mare huffed happily and she once again lowered her head toward him. and Alistair returned the gesture with gentle rubs. Daisy and Cooper dutifully followed him.

Alistair heard heavy footsteps and the barn door opened to reveal Master Dennet. His gaze shifted from the black mare to Alistair and then to Daisy and Cooper behind the boy. The master only smiled, and said, “I thought someone had broken in but it’s only you, boy.”

“I befriended her, sir. She didn’t bite and offered her head into my hand first, I swear!” Alistair happily replied.

“Oh, did she, now? Well, that makes my job easier. Good job boy!” Dennet patted Alistair’s head before he grimaced.

“You smelled like mabari’s saliva, old hay, and horse manure! Go take a bath at my place first, then we can start attending to these horses!" He pointed to a small shack near the barn.

“But, Daisy and Cooper already bathed me, sir! And I am going to get dirty again anyway, so I will just take a huuugeee bath later in the evening.” Alistair cheekily replied with a huge grin on his face.

Dennet couldn’t help but laugh along, still directing the boy towards his shack. “If you take a bath now, I will saddle her and you can take a short ride with this dark lady, you have my word, Alistair.” Alistair only grumbled in reply, but both mabaris made sure he went to Dennet’s shack to bathe.

As the two large brown mabaris followed him, guiding the boy in the direction of the shack, Alistair suddenly stopped in his tracks, and immediately sprinted as fast as a nine year old boy could, away from the dogs. Alistair was laughing manically as he ran through the fields with the wind blowing on his face and hair and the tall grass gently hitting his scrawny body. That didn’t last long, as Daisy and Cooper’s stamina and agility let them catch up with Alistair in no time.

Alistair stopped running as Cooper play-bowed with his butt wiggling in the air. Suddenly, Daisy gently pushed Alistair to the ground and insistently licked his face again. Cooper watched, still wagging his tail and barking happily, as Alistair laughed and tried to break free from the female mabari.

“NO-N-NO! Okay, okaaay…” Alistair wiggled away from Daisy. “FINE! I’ll go to the shack and bathe, I could never win against you dogs…”

Daisy answered with a loud bark in agreement. Cooper also barked and jumped up, waiting to play with Alistair. Alistair threw a stick and Cooper ran off to catch it. Then Alistair started to run away from Daisy, this time in the direction of Master Dennet’s shack.