Varric is the most character of all time and I can’t get over him
He’s a business man. He hates his parents. He has a crossbow named after the woman he loves. She made him the crossbow. It’s so powerful nobody can know. He writes crime novels. For a while his only friends were bisexuals. He’s famous. He’s a wanted criminal. He once organised an underground expedition/treasure hunt. He writes porn. His best friend went to magic hell. His other best friend has one arm. He works for a powerful religious organisation. He runs a spy network. He’s mayor of his hometown. He’s killed dragons. He refuses to cover his chest. He won’t sleep with you. He can turn invisible. His brother lost his mind. He’s four feet tall. He’s confused by chocolate. He was kidnapped by the church police.
He dug out the weapon that drove his brother mad on a mission to help his brother out, which also doomed his city and best friend. He picks up more insane bisexuals wherever he goes. He's ghosting anyone in his hometown who's tryna get him to do mayor job stuff. He gives his friend the key to his city's defences and also a whole manor house so they'll have somewhere to go when shit hits the fan. He couldn't save another of his friends and his city almost got destroyed as a result. He takes one look at a rando who just fucked up a major job and goes "I'll take that one please". He refuses to use violence on the guy trying to end the world because they used to be spirit boy co-parents friends. He's killed with the same weapon that drove his brother mad.
