Jo

When an English teacher, or reader, taught or picked up 1984, it wasn’t with the intention they were going to love the protagonist. They picked it up with the intention of reading a whole story and trying to grasp the theme or catharsis from the story. If the protagonist was a *shitty* person it played into the the themes or the story, because it wasn’t about morally judging the book or *liking* or feeling attachment to the protagonist. Sometimes and often times, books were just about gaining another perspective. 

No one read Lolita expecting to endear, or like, or be inspired by Humbert. You are supposed to be upset by his behavior, you don’t read Lolita with the intention of being inspired. You read it to learn more about what the fuck is going on inside someone’s head when they behave like that. How children get sucked into abusive situations. Or read “The Great Gatsby” not because they want to fall in love with Gatsby or Nick, but to better understand and analyze the experience of the 1920s or destitution of the American Dream. 

A lot of internet and fandom culture has changed that though. When we say something like “I love the Great Gatsby” it comes with the idea or association that means you must *love* or relate to one of the characters. And maybe you do, but the first assumption is not longer about the quality of the work or themes, or cathartic impact-it’s about character admiration. And with that character admiration, in tumblr stan culture, or kin culture, or exalting characters with fanart/romance/so on you don’t just ‘admire’ or find that character ‘compelling’ it now translates to ‘you LOVE that character’ or you ‘DIRECTLY relate to that character.’ 

You can’t say “I love how Humbert is written, it’s so fascinating and dark”, without it directly translating you somehow relate to a child abuser or condone his actions. Taking in media has become an act of worship and connection. We no longer watch meant to just see the story as a whole, we watch expecting to connect to a character and if we offer them our “worship” as it’s become, as opposed to just attention or interest study as it traditionally was, it means we are condoning the character or saying we directly empathize with all their actions. 

I think that’s why there is often now so much fuss over *toxic* characters or not. Or whether that classical novel is showing good or bad things anymore. We’re treating the characters as people we should love or want to draw or write about. Sometimes a story is just about getting the the theme or catharsis or learning another perspective. We don’t NEED to like the character. Or we don’t HAVE to like a character to be impressed by how they’re written or intrigued by their behavior. 

-"“The Crowded Room" is a gripping anthology series that will explore the true and inspirational stories of those who have struggled and learned to successfully live with mental illness."- Apple.com, from the article titled: "Apple orders “The Crowded Room,” starring Tom Holland and created by Academy Award winner Akiva Goldsman"

the first season of this series is a "thriller" that "tells the story of Billy Milligan" who is "the first person ever acquitted of a crime because of multiple personality disorder". Milligan raped 4 women, used their DID as an excuse for their heinous acts, and got off scott-free. and this going to be portrayed as an "inspirational" story.

how is the story of someone who got away with multiple rapes "inspirational" and an example of someone who has "struggled and learned to successfully live with mental illness"?

it's only an inspirational success story if you think that everyone with DID is an inherently dangerous, evil monster. clearly, this is who they assuming we are, and this will influence how people view those with DID/OSDD. it's going to reinforce people's assumptions that: DID is a scary disorder, people with DID are dangerous to be around, and there is always an evil alter (in this case, a rapist). also, this assumption that we are dangerous indicates that they have done very little research into the actual disorder. this means that this series is more likely to include harmful stereotypes and misinformation.

this series is also not fiction. it's based on a true story, meaning that people are more likely to take it at face value and see it as an accurate portrayal of DID. they are going to watch this and think "this must be what DID is like. how truly fascinating and scary and sad." because the stereotypical assumptions and misinformation will be presented alongside the actual true story that the series is about, ignorant audiences are more likely to think that this is an actual factual part of the true story. they will internalise the facts about Billy Milligan and DID and the misinformation and stereotypes that are shown in the series the same way, because they will believe that they are being shown the same thing. also, because it's based on a true story, any stereotypical assumptions and misinformation about DID are more likely to be presented as factually correct, so people will be more likely to believe it.

media portrayals like this affect how people with DID/OSDD are treated in the real world. these stereotypes shape their perception of what people with DID/OSDD are like, whether they consciously realise it or not. when people found out I had DID, they initially treated me like a serial killer. they were horrified and scared and wouldn't let me near them. this made me feel like I was some sort of repulsive monster. some people stopped talking to me. afterwards, many were weirdly infantalising towards me. one of them tried to trigger out a little because she thought it would be interesting, knowing it could cause harm (someone was literally telling her), as if my severe trauma was some fascinating circus trick for her entertainment. I have a feeling this series is going to portray DID as this mysterious, interesting disorder to engage audiences, instead of treating it with the same respect that you'd treat PTSD (which would be not treating it as an entertainment spectacle to gawk at. people with DID are normal people just like you, they've just gone through some really rough shit at a young age).

listen to the DID/OSDD community when we say this will cause real harm. DID is an extremely stigmatised disorder already, and everyone in the DID/OSDD community has severe trauma, so we really don't need this. this is just my opinion, and I don't speak for the entire community itself, but these are my thoughts, and many people in the community seem to agree with me. "The Crowded Room" is going to cause further stigma to those with DID/OSDD, which will probably cause more people to be treated like I was or worse. portrayals like this are the reason I can't tell most people I have DID.

You’re sitting at a cafe with your friend when suddenly a woman walks in with a toy poodle in her purse. The manager at the counter informs her “I’m sorry, but we do not allow dogs”. She replies with a heavy sigh and a “She’s a service dog. She can come with me”. Not knowing much about service dog law, and worrying about getting sued for asking further questions, he sits this woman down at a booth. There, she promptly unzips her purse and places the dog on the booth seat next to her. When the woman’s food comes out, the little dog begs and she feeds her bits off her plate. This dog is not public access trained, and proceeds to bark at those who walk by. This dog is a nuisance and causes many in the restaurant to complain. The manager cannot do anything but inform the unhappy customers that this is a service dog, so he can’t ask her to leave. In the end, it’s the customers who end up leaving.

Now I walk in with my highly trained service dog pressed against my leg in a perfect heel position, and I’m quickly bombarded by the manager telling me “No dogs! No dogs! We ALL know what happened last time”. Confused, I tell him “This is my medical alert and medical response service dog. Her right to accompany me is protected under federal law.” With a sigh, he seats me at a table far away from others where my dog promptly tucks under my feet, out of sight. When my food arrives my dog is still tucked tightly under the table because she knows she’s not supposed to eat when she’s on duty. She stays there ignoring those who walk past for the remainder of my meal. When we leave, a woman by the door exclaims “Woah, I didn’t know there was a dog here!”

See the difference?

Scenario number two occurs at a local grocery store when a man decides to bring his certified emotional support animal into the store with him. Upon entering he flashes a fancy ID card and certification papers. This dog is not as unruly as the first, but he still forges ahead of his handler, sniffs the food on display, and may seek attention from those who walk past. You find this dog adorable, and when he and his owner walk past you ask to pet him. The owner says yes and explains how all he had to do was go online, register his dog, and a few weeks later they sent him a vest, ID card, and certification papers.

Now I pull into the same grocery store. I’m in a rush to get an ingredient for a dish I’m making so I hurry into the store with my service dog next to me. I’m quickly stopped by a manager who demands to see my service dog’s certification card. Remember, this is NOT required by law, and most real service dog teams don’t have them. After 15 minutes of trying to educate, pulling up the ADA website on my phone, back and forth bickering, and drawing more of a crowd than I want to describe… I’m finally allowed in. I grab my ingredient, stand in line (where my service dog obediently moves between my legs to make space for those around me), and I get bombarded by people asking to pet my dog. I explain that she’s working, she has a very important job to do, and she’s not allowed to be pet while on duty. People walk away grumbling and complaining about how rude I was when other handlers like the man they met earlier allow their dog to be pet.

- soft

- nice hugs

- thigh pillows??? Tiddy pillows??

Cons of chubby gf

- none

Pros of skinny gf

- fits in ur arms rly nicely

- ur hoodies are too big on her which is beautiful

Cons of skinny gf

- none

Pros of muscled gf

- abs?? Biceps??? Please???

- strong gf pick me up pls

- most likely works out a lot which is hot

Cons of muscled gf

-she can reach everything

-she can wear those gorgeous and long swooshy dresses without drowning in the fabric

-she still rocks heels, I mean, hello??? Tall girls in heels??? Yes??? PLEASE?

- can curb stomp facist easily

Cons of a tall gf

-none, you’re just cowardly

Pros of a short gf

- I can give her piggyback rides

- she short which means I can pick her up randomly

- she’s got a better angle for throat punching facist

- great at stealing my clothes and wearing em

Cons of a short gf

- none

Pros of a disabled gf

- she’s still her own independent person

- she’s intelligent, often times having some of the most profound things to say that people often ignore because they’re stupid

-she’s got a unique lifestyle that’s gonna be best for her and she’s gonna live life as much as she can as comfortably as she can

-stronger than any US marine

-hates fascist

Cons of a disabled gf

-She stims when she’s happy

-She tells you about her special interests

-She’s super knowledgeable about her favorite topics

Cons of an autistic gf

Very excitable

You can notice where they set things down and “find” them for them later

they’ll text you instead of whatever they’re supposed to be doing

Cons of an ADHD gf

🥜Do you prefer sweet or salty snacks?

🌆 What’s a thing you like about where you live?

🙊 Are you a good liar?

💖 Tell me one thing about someone you love?

🤸‍♂️ Standing with straight legs, can you touch your toes?

👊 In a fight, would you punch, kick or bite?

⚔  If you had to fight your favorite character, would you survive?

🤝 What could I learn about you from your handshake? (if covid was not a thing of course)

💇‍♀️ What’s the longest your hair has ever been?

🥉What’s one thing you enjoy doing even though you’re bad at it?

💲If I gave you $100 (in your country’s currency), how long until it’s gone?

🌏Do you like your time zone?

💬If you were to change your name, what would you want it to be?

🩰What’s your favorite pair of shoes, and why?

🦊What’s the first meme you can remember seeing?

🦸‍♀️I can choose any superpower I want, but you can choose *one* to be off limits. Which one can’t I have?

🗺Would you rather go on many short trips or one long journey?

🎢Have you been on a roller coaster? Was it scary?

🧜‍♀️Would you rather be a centaur or a mermaid?

🧙‍♂️You can choose one ancient religion to become a major world religion today. Which one do you choose?

🐸Would you rather be able to fly or to breathe underwater?

🚬If you could unlearn one habit instantly, which one would you choose?

🥾Do you wear shoes inside?

🕙If you could visit the past for one year, when and where would you go?

💭What’s one thing you wish people would talk to you about more often?

🧚‍♂️What is a job you wish existed?

🎩What style choice would you not make again?

👗If you could get a new wardrobe for free, what style would you make it?

🐜If ants could talk, how loud would their voices be?

🌿 Herb: What is a scent you find relaxing? 

🌱 Seedling: What is something you want to begin learning? 

🥛 Milk: What is a food you find comforting when you are sad? 

🍯 Honey: What is one thing you like about yourself?

🍄 Mushroom: What is a quote you find comfort in?

☕ Tea: How do you take your tea?

🐄 Cow: What is one other tumblr blog you really appreciate? 

🌳 Tree: What is one thing in your future you are looking foward towards? 

🍑 Peach: What is a color that makes you smile? 

🌻 Sunflower: What is one thing that brightened your day today? 

🐓 Chicken: What is a comfort movie/show for you?

🧵 Thread: What is a recent creative project that you are proud of? 

🐈 Cat: Do you have any pets? Are there some pets you really want? 

🍅 Tomato: Have you ever gardened, and if so, what is your favorite thing to grow? 

🍃 Leaf: What is a plant you find beautiful? 

🐝 Bee: What is a video game that you find comforting? 

🍞 Bread: Do you know how to bake bread? If so, what is something you’ve baked recently?

🐇 Bunny: What’s a song that you really like? 

🌲  Pine: Do you prefer the cold, or the heat?

🧶 Yarn: Knitting or Crocheting?

🐑 Sheep: What is a comfort item you own? 

🍓 Strawberry: Do you own any pink clothing?

🥞 Pancake: What is your favorite breakfast food? 

⛰️ Mountains: Would you rather live in the mountains, city, beach, or the forest? 

🧸 Teddy Bear: Do you ever want to raise kids someday? 

A young Sgt James ‘Bucky’ Barnes

and everyone went on reassuring them that nothing was wrong with them, they just weren’t a naturally parental person, which is fair and true!

but I didn’t see anybody making what I feel is the most important point, which is:

regardless, you still have to pretend empathy for the child.

No, you don’t have to have your own child, you don’t have to go out of your way to interact with children, and nothing is “wrong” with you if you largely find children annoying. you can tell your adult friends “I don’t have any patience for kids and prefer to not be around them,”

but if you view children as “little adults,” you HAVE to then logically say “but they’re not. they’re children, and I’M the ACTUAL adult, and it’s MY responsibility to treat them well and be nice when I’m around them.”

and I don’t want to see any comments like “must be nice to be neurotypical” on this, because I’m not, and there’s no mental illness that makes it okay to treat others badly, sorry. You have to be nice to children.