365 Days of Love, Encouragement, & Thanks

I captured this moment and posted it 6 years ago. 5 years ago, I was yearning to be free in New Zealand and watching/listening to "I" while preparing for an exam that I'm yet again preparing for today. 4 years ago, I was just thankful to be alive and learning more about myself and the beauty and strength in vulnerability. 3 years ago, I was on the verge of quitting a program that I had just started a month and a half into it. 2 years ago, I was discovering another dimension of my purpose and enjoying being in the drum lab again after 7 years. 1 year ago, I was wondering what I was getting myself into again with another challenging program and yet thankful for the past 5 years and the reason for the above photo and the resulting motivation and inspiration for my purpose. Today, I'm reflecting on my journey during the past 8 years. Yes, I've matured and grown, and I'm thankful for that. I've discovered part of my purpose and picked up some skills and knowledge along the way.

But I also feel like I've been going around in circles ever since 2012. I would advance and then encounter a roadblock. I would get knocked down, sometimes by tripping myself, but get back up somehow and try again. I would try and try and try and try again but still not get that final triumph, even though I did earn those small victories. Now, I'm getting tired and starting to lose my way again. What's the point anymore? All I see is others get to that destination while I'm stuck like that fly, that 파리 in g.o.d's 3rd album intro.

And yet I'm again reminded of Romans 8:28, and I hold on to that promise while I reignite the engine and restart the car for one more lap. It's the last shot I've got, and I am not throwin' away my shot like Hamilton.

So just like how "What Faith Can Do" was the song in 2013 and "I" was the song in 2015, "내게 들려주고 싶은 말 (Dear Me)" is the song in 2020. Because I love myself, I trust myself. Because of my faith in Christ.

길었던 어둠을 견딘 나를 봐

또다시 밤이 와도 숨지 않아

내 곁엔 내가 있어

밝아올 하늘 그 위로

퍼져가는 빛이 되어 난 날아가

언젠가는 나에게도

들려줄 수만 있다면

I love myself

I trust myself

기억해줄래 (기억해줄래)

Hey, I trust myself

기억해줘

I love myself

I trust myself

There were 2 stories that gave me so much hope during a turbulent 2016: the story of Ava and the story of the Trojan football team. Even though I'll have to meet Ava someday in heaven, she fought on 'til the end. To me, she's a Trojan with her "fight on" spirit. I mean, just look at this girl run to the altar with her walker to receive her portion of the communion:  https://www.facebook.com/teamavabright/photos/a.1732226766992188.1073741828.1731864397028425/1860453534169510/?type=3&theater

Faith. Hope. Love.

Faith in the King of kings, Lord of lords, Unchanging One.

Hope of better days, a better future, a better country, a United States, a healing nation, a healing world, and peace that surpasses all understanding.

Love our neighbors. Love those with different opinions and different experiences. Love our imperfect leaders and pray that they will lead with wisdom, justice, mercy, and a heart that is like His heart. Love even our "enemies" and pray for them. Because He first loved us. Perfect love that casts out fear.

“There is power, (Power!) Power! (Power!)” #powerintheblood #mario #jump #praise #power

USC has a lot of water fountains spread throughout the campus. There was one fountain in particular that was very special to me. When I was going through difficult, turbulent times in college, it was at this fountain that I found peace. It was at this fountain that I felt like I was in the presence of God. In fact, God WAS there. It was at this fountain that I heard these words: “You’re going to be like a fountain to other people, give them energy, life, well, water, but it’s going to be turbulent, like the water and loud, rushing. People will watch you and be pleased.”

I never would have imagined the way that God fulfilled part of that promise 6 years later. We have been doing body worship praise for children's ministry at my church lately, and I led praise for the 3rd service of upper elementary for the first time today. It didn't exactly turn out the way I envisioned it, I made a lot of mistakes, and there’s lots of room for improvement, but that's okay. I'm sure that God is still pleased :) Though I'm also sure that He would like a little more enthusiasm from the students when they worship him, hehe. Honestly, when P. James first asked me if I could lead praise, I had a lot of fears and worries. I can do the motions, but I can't sing well. I'm actually half tone-deaf. Leading praise and singing in front of people? And what if I completely mess up? I said yes, but I wasn't sure if I could do it.

But God kept reminding me throughout the week that it's not about me. It's all about HIM. Worship is telling God how awesome, great, amazing, and holy He is. It's expressing how much we love Him and want to honor him. Because of who He is. Because of what He’s done for us. Because He first loved us. So when we praise Him with our voices and with our bodies, we want to fix our eyes on Jesus and forget about all of the distractions around us (and forget about our fears and worries too). When we worship, we worship Him with all of our heart and with all of our soul and with all of our mind.

So even if I can’t sing, even if I mess up the moves, and even if the song starts in the wrong place and I miss the timing and get confused, it’s all okay. God is still pleased with our worship if we give Him our all: all our heart, all our soul, all our mind, and all our strength. And even in my weakness, God still works and gives me strength. Something to remember as I start preparing for next week’s praise set and finish creating the moves for the new song I want to introduce to the students.

As I was praying and reflecting before going to bed tonight, tears fell down my face as God reminded me of His promise at that water fountain 6 years ago. I don’t know how to describe it, but it was that same feeling I had when I shared my testimony through dance at kid’s camp last summer. 

Soli Deo gloria. 

No words can describe this precious and beautiful moment for SNSD/소녀시대 and their fans, SONE, who braved through the up-and-down rollercoaster ride of 2014.

I'm posting the audio of one of the fancams (cr: nuunoot on youtube) because I want to cherish this moment and listen to this in all of its rawness. Because the rawness makes it even more beautiful. Because it allows us to appreciate the sincerity of the girls as they sing their debut song that started it all: their venture as 9 Into The New World as Girls' Generation.  And as they step out to venture into the new world again as 8, I hope that these beautiful ladies will always remember that special night of December 9, 2014.

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I had a sort-of epiphany (pun intended, Tiffany, hehe :D) moment recently while studying for chemistry: the bond connecting the Girls together is like a sigma (σ) bond, which is the strongest of the very strong covalent bond. The single bond connecting them together is made stronger with the addition of a pi (π) bond. Even though it's weaker than the sigma bond, the pi bond causes the formation of a double bond that is stronger than the single bond by itself. SONE is like that pi bond. Our support adds strength to the group. SOSHI + SONE together was an alkene with a very strong double bond connecting all of us together. Note also that the length of a double bond is shorter than a single bond. We are close to each other, no matter our physical distance. BUT something happened: a chemical reaction happened and a very special atom was removed, disturbing the double bond of this alkene. For a moment, there was confusion and the bond was broken. BUT the alkene persevered even though it hurt. Both SOSHI and SONE moved tighter and closer together to restore the damaged bond. Yes, the bond is damaged, but it is indestructible. SOSHI+SONE's combined effort shined brightly like the light from the pink ocean at Tokyo Dome on that night. Their secret? Faith (Trust). Hope. Love. 믿음. 소망, 사랑. And they wait patiently for the day when the alkene will be complete again when the special atom returns to the group.

And just as fire makes a pottery stronger and more beautiful and blue curing light allows a composite filling for the tooth to withstand chewing forces, so hard times often lead to a stronger and more beautiful product.

(Sorry for being so corny and nerdy... this is what happens the night before a chemistry final exam and when Tokyo Dome concert happens during finals week... -__-  And yes, I realized how emotionally attached I am to this group and this fandom...)

While many celebrities/entertainers/famous people that post their Ice Bucket Challenge video on Instagram post one, maybe two, videos of the challenge, this warm-hearted lady decides to post SEVEN videos, thoroughly explaining what it's for, that it's not just an event but something that we should give our continuous attention and care towards, how we should not just pour a bucket of ice water down our bodies but also donate to the cause, and the specific info of where the donation should be sent to (if you're in Korea), all before enjoying that bucket of ice. Oh, and a friendly reminder afterwards to donate, in case you forgot after being drenched with that ice cold water:

A video posted by Sooyoung (@syofgg) on Aug 21, 2014 at 4:13am PDT

A video posted by Sooyoung (@syofgg) on Aug 21, 2014 at 4:14am PDT

A video posted by Sooyoung (@syofgg) on Aug 21, 2014 at 4:16am PDT

A video posted by Sooyoung (@syofgg) on Aug 21, 2014 at 4:19am PDT

http://instagram.com/p/r9V34-rVvO/?modal=true http://instagram.com/p/r9WOXFrVvy/?modal=true http://instagram.com/p/r9Wy2ErVgn/?modal=true

Love thaws a frozen heart. And a bucket of ice. Olaf approves and is once again reminded that some people are worth melting for    ^v^b

Also, Park Seung-il (the basketball coach/player that the Korean ALS foundation is named after and that Sooyoung talked about in one of her appearances on Strong Heart) also participated in the ice bucket challenge in his own little way, using snow spray since he can't have ice water dumped on him: 

박승일 선수와 루게릭병과 싸우는 모든분들 힘내세요! 승일희망재단 화이팅!

“My dear baby, if you survive, remember I love you.”

このIndestructible Unbreakable 決して壊れない絆 魂はtwin soul (twin soul) たとえあなたが 崖から落ちそうになったとしても その手だけは　はなさないの

Indestructible… 守り抜くから…

あなたのおかげかな　随分I like myself 嫌いなこともだいぶね　減ったりして 愛を知ると人は強くなれるって 遠い昔　パパが言っていたこと

This indestructible, unbreakable bond <3