☆Am just chillin☆

pillows have stopped having a cold side some time ago

On account of the natural disaster my dog wasn't able to go to the dog pub this week and thus didn't get her sandwich turkey she gets every week. In apology for this I made her a hamburger patty, which was served to her on top of her kibble, and now she is searching the house for more hamburger patties.

She seems to believe this was something that has always just been in my house and she never noticed and so if she looks hard enough she'll find more hamburger patties as clearly I summoned one from nothing.

dont piss me off. next time you go on a trip im filling your house with galapagos finches. by the time you return, they've evolved to fill your niche. they're a better spouse to your partner. they're a better parent for your child. and? they're a better friend to me than you ever were.

have you guys ever seen a crocodile with its fingies out

@putting-swears-back-in-images

this is why you shouldn't swear

Is there anything he haven't wear yet

a condom