if i was famous and people were getting cancelled for rpf-ing me, i would actually get online and post that they weren’t being freaky enough about me

stop asking what’s on my mind when i have that distant and faraway look in my eyes. it’s lesbian sex. again

down with found family. UP with FOUND DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

getting many questions about FOUND DIVORCE. FOUND DIVORCE is when TWO PEOPLE who were NOT EVEN MARRIED are already DIVORCED. thank you.

we did it! we saved the fucking whales!!!!

you can INCREASE your PLAYTIME by being a BAD GAMER

Vice President Aang

play fun math games at www.deadwife.com

Phan is real. My Chemical Romance got back together. These are things middle school me literally thought were impossible. Never kill yourself

dan and phil publicly forgiving their audience for ripping their private life apart. chronically closeted dan following that up by asking "phil do YOU forgive me for years of dealing with my bullshit?" and phil saying he doesn't need to forgive him. literally peace and love on phanet earth

positively giddy at the prospect of our first "i'm breaking up with you" joke <3 i know it won't take too long