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Gather a citron, an ancient fruit predating the cultivation of lemon. Notice how it has a wonderful aroma, and consider how its flesh is edible. This represents the Jew who is both learned in Judaism and who exhibits kindness and good deeds.

Now gather the closed frond at the center of a palm tree. Consider how sweet the dates of the palm taste, but how the frond exhibits no strong smell like the citron. This represents the Jew who is learned in Judaism, but who does not practice the compassion in the many texts they studied.

Now gather at least three branches from a myrtle bush. Take in the refreshing scent oozing from the branches' thick leaves, but see how it does not bear fruit. This represents the Jew who is not learned in Judaism, but whose good character and actions are exceptional.

Finally, gather two branches from the somber willow. While mighty and enveloping, the willow exhibits no strong aroma, nor does it produce fruit. This represents the Jew who is neither learned in Judaism nor kind in character and deeds.

Appreciate the various textures and shapes of these four species. Feel the weight of them in your hand. Value how different in so many aspects each of them are.

Take them all in your hands, and bind them together like an embrace. Point them in all the corners of the earth- South, North, East, heavenward, downward, and West. Think of all your Jewish brethren scattered around the world, and bring your precious bundle back to your heart with every direction you send it to. Contemplate the place of every Jew in your community, the Etrog, the Lulav, the Hadas, and the Arava, for they all belong.

Person: "Sorry if this is a personal question, but how do you.... y'know......deal with it?"

Me: "Deal with what?"

Person: "Y'know...... y'know......your religion......"

Me: "Meaning?"

Person: "Well, um, how old do you believe the earth is?"

Me: "I follow the geological consensus, which is approximately 4.5 Billion years"

Person: "But......but.....your Bible says that it's 6,000 years old....."

Me: "Technically 5,783 years, so you're wrong there, haha"

Person: "Okay but how do you....how do you reconcile that with science?"

Me: "I don't need to reconcile it. They're not in opposition."

Person: "??"

Me: "The plain text in the Tanakh states that it has been 5,783 years since the creation of Adam, and consequently the world. Judaism has never been about taking the text in the Tanakh plainly, there's always deeper meanings. Who's to say that the 5,783 years aren't just the years since a couple named Adam and Eve met and copulated, triggering the begining of the lineage of Abraham, Moses, and the entire Jewish lineage, and that the six days of creation aren't six phases which are actually pretty in-line with our understanding of evolution?"

Person: "But.....some people believe that it's literally been 5,783 years since the earth was literally created!"

Me: "Okay..... that's what they believe. I don't see how it should bother me, especially considering we're in the field of anthropology where we try to study other patterns of belief, not cast judgement upon them."

Person: "But other Jews believe that!!!"

Me: "Again.....why should that affect my religious and academic senses of self? Judaism has never been a monolith of belief, anyway."

(*caveat that I'm an American, liberal Jew, so my experiences are not universal despite being common)

So you've just started going to shul and you're worried about fitting in with the congregation. Or, perhaps, you're moving out of the community you converted in and are worried about finding your place in a new community. Maybe you're switching shuls. Whatever the reason, you're starting in a new community and want to be accepted right away. Here are some tips for becoming a rapidly accepted fixture in the community:

If your community has a weekday minyan, go to minyan. That will show you who the real machers are in the community: the ones who make services happen regularly and who aren't shy about calling or texting people to get butts in seats. If you're Jewish, you might be Jew #10, the perennial hero of daveners everywhere. If not, you're communicating to them that possibility in the future. (No one was more excited for me to finish conversion than the minyan regulars.)

Okay but what if I'm a woman (or not halachicly male person) attending a non-egalitarian community? If it's liberal orthodox community and/or has a partnership minyan, I'd still consider going. I attended morning minyan at my Modern Orthodox shul for months before I completed my conversion because it was less awkward than going to the Conservative minyan and having to clarify that no, they still couldn't count me yet. (And I really liked the people and the post-minyan drash the rabbi would give.) They were actually delighted to have me holding up the women's side of the mechitza and welcoming in the occasional women who would come for a yahrzeit.

Do you have rhythm and/or are possessed of decently good coordination? Learn the cup song! [Tutorial] People will be very excited albeit potentially confused if it comes out that you didn't grow up going to Jewish summer camp. (I'd just tell them you saw the song on the internet and thought it looked fun.)

Are you musically talented or a semi-competant guitar player? Many communities would love to involve you in the songful parts of the service if you let leadership know.

In general, pay attention to what your community is always begging for volunteers for, especially things you can do as a non-Jew or not-quite-yet-Jew if that's your situation, and sign up for one or two things you think you'd be good at. I would say it's better to pick one thing and focus your energy on being THAT guy rather than trying to do a little of everything (voice of experience here.) Real life examples I can think of: being a greeter, arranging set-up for events, helping out with food prep such as kiddush or post-minyan bagels, running groceries to homebound congregants, delivering mishloach manot if your community does that, childcare or assisting with children's activities if you like kids, etc.

Put a fair amount of energy into remembering people's names and faces, and try to work out early who is related to whom. Bonus points if you can file away information about their lives that they tell you during your conversations with them.

If you're asked to do honors by the gabbai, try to say yes to anything you know how to do and are qualified to do halachicly. If you're not Jewish, many liberal communities will still let you open the ark or take a multi-person aliyah with someone who is Jewish, or have you read some of the contemporary English language prayers. Bonus points for if you are able to learn and perform hagbah (especially if you're left-handed/able to hagbah when the sefer Torah is heavy on the left side.)

Honestly, if you're between the ages of 18 - 35, most communities will be thrilled you're there and tripping over themselves to get you to come back. In combination with the above? You're their new best friend. If you are older than that or still a minor, they will still be very happy to have another friendly and helpful face, even if it's just that you regularly attend minyan.

Should we call anyone in the Torah "a catgirl," it is surely Samson, who - though a passionate man, and at times a clever one - was undone by an excess of confidence, and those passions exceeding his good judgment.

This sparked an uproar in the room, with some agreeing; others disputing the matter, and putting forth other anime archetypes; and still others accepting the basic precept, but questioning why a cat ought to have slain a fellow cat.

Yet Rabbi Elazar held:

Long shot, I know. But I distinctly remember reading it a couple years ago… and I can’t for the life of me find it now, nor do I know who wrote it or where I read it.

Thank you, God, for waking me up again today. Even though I don’t want to get up this morning, and see no point to my continued existence, I thank you, Lord, for having enough faith in me to think this day might be a worthwhile one for me. Great is your faithfulness, even towards your depressed creations who regularly malign your work and doubt your intentions in this world.

For you have restored my soul with mercy…

If you did not think that today had the potential to be worthwhile, if you did not think there was even a smidgen of hope for today, you would have guided me, instead, into eternal sleep. So even though I am in the pit of a deep, dark depression, and certainly will not or cannot daven this morning, I will say these brief few words, as I struggle out of my pajamas and into work clothes and down a handful of M & M’s in an effort to propel myself out the door.

I believe in a personal God who had some hand in creating each human being with intention. I believe in a God who created us, both collectively and individually, in His image. I believe in a God who expresses hope for humanity, despite us disappointing Him again and again and again (and again).

Great, indeed, is your faithfulness!

Modah ani.

When you let your Jewish Grandfather babysit your dog… 

Schvitzing - Sweating. (Ex: "I'm schvitzing so much it's showing through my clothes.")

Schlep - A tedious and long journey, depending on usage it can mean that you were carrying something. (Ex: "I had to schlep all the way across campus, my backpack was so heavy." Usually denotes a long walk, but other forms of transportation are acceptable too. "You drove all the way to New York from Florida? That's quite the shlep.")

Shtati - Something really cool. (Ex: "I visited my friend's place and they had a shtati mezuzah!")

Neshama - Soul. (Ex: "Mazel tov on your conversion, you have such a strong Jewish neshama!")

Balagan - A big mess, chaotic, confusing (Ex: "Moshe forgot to bring challah for shabbat dinner, and it turned into this big balagan")

Achi/Achoti - "Achi" literally means "my brother," but can also be used like bro or dude, "achoti" is the feminine equivalent meaning "sister"

Yalla - Come on, let's go (Ex: "Yalla yalla, you're going to make us late again")

Mishpacha - Family. Doesn't have to be literal blood relatives, usually a sign of warmth or friendship. (Ex: "I care about every Jew, they're all my mishpacha.")

Pshhh - Interjection sound, to express respect or agreement with what someone is saying, but can also be playfully poking fun at someone taking themselves too seriously, can be used sarcastically.

Achla - amazing, awesome, great, the best (Ex: "You graduated from university? Achla!")

Sheina Punem (Shayna Punim) - Pretty face (Ex: My bubbe kept pinching my cheeks and calling me a sheina punem) Can be used ironically, in which case it means "a disgrace."

Ahavat Yisrael - to love your fellow Jew (Ex: "I firmly believe in ahavat yisrael, even if it's hard sometimes.")

Schande - Shame, dishonor among the nations, meaning a Jew who represents Jews badly, a serious insult. (Ex: "He's a schande, he feeds into antisemitic stereotypes.")

Schmutz - Dirt, stain. (Ex: "Use your napkin, you've got schmutz on your face.")

Amalek - Any enemy of the Jewish people. ("[Fill in blank] is the modern Amalek, they hate the Jews.")

Lanceman/Landsmen - Two jews from the same place, a point of connection between two Jews who now live far away from their hometown. (Ex: "Your grandma is from Crown Heights? Mine too, our grandparents are landsmen!")

Goyisch - Something not Jewish (Ex: "I don't listen to Taylor Swift, her music is too goyisch for me.")

Goyischekop/Goyische-kop - Goyisch head, a jew who thinks/sounds like a non-jew. (Ex: "How could you say about your fellow Jew? Do you have a goyische-kop or something?")

Kindaleh/Kinderlach - Little children (Ex: "I passed by the school and saw the kindaleh on the playground, they're so cute!")

Chamud/Chamuda/Chamudi - Sweetie, cutie, usually aimed at children, but can be a term of endearment between a couple. Can be condescending when said rudely to another adult, like "Sweetheart" can be in English. (ex: "Goodnight, Chamudi. I can't wait to see you tomorrow.")

Daven - to pray ("Are you going to join us for davening?")

Frum - A religiously observant Jew. ("He's frum, he davens three times a day.")

Treif - Unkosher, generally something not good, doesn't have to literally refer to a food. ("I trained my dog to stop barking when I say 'treif!'.")

Bubkis - Zero, nothing, nada ("Moshe got a gift from bubbe and I got bubkis.")

Kvetch - To complain ("I'm just kvetching, I'm not that upset about it.")

Kvell - Extreme pride. ("I heard your daughter made it into her top school, you must be kvelling!")

Mensch - A good, admirable person. ("He volunteers every week, he's a mensch.")

Chillul HaShem - Disgracing God's name, someone who does something that makes Jews look bad.

Kiddush HaShem - Something that sanctifies God's name, brings honor to God. ("I love seeing you wear a kippah, it's a kiddush HaShem!")

Bubbe meise - Little white lies ("He told his teacher a bubbe meise about his dog eating his homework.")

SIX SONGS, 2017

a short zine illustrating a chapter of the Hechalot Rabbati, an ancient Jewish mystical text which describes—in gory detail—the dangers of listening to the angels singing around the merkavah (holy chariot). it features detailed pen & ink artwork drawing from both Jewish symbolic tradition (including panel borders inspired by antique Ashkenazi gravestone carvings) and a modern macabre visionary style.

incredible to look back at this one 5 years later! my first Jewish zine. folks' response to this really changed my whole creative practice & it helped me find my voice after almost a decade of artistic burnout.

Glasgolem, 2022

golem time!!! 🥳

just finished two little needle felted glamim (golems)! they’re about 4 in/10 cm tall and made mostly of wool, with some ✨special effects✨ fibers mixed in- angelina and firestar for the sparkly eyes and tummy crack, and glow-in-the-dark polyester for the אמת (‘emet,’ truth).

Have you explored the impacts of this belief on others through their eyes and listened to what people who do not share this belief have to say about how it effects them?

A good test of the value of any given religious observance is, were you to find out later beyond a shadow of a doubt that the underlying specific theological claims were not literally true, would you be upset to have lived a religious life the way you did? Or would you still value the time spent in prayer, in study, in meditation, in community?

Does your faith and/or the texts it is based on have to be literally true for it to still carry meaning for you?

A good test for the the validity of any given religious intuition is what it encourages you to do. Does this spiritual experience move you to examine yourself carefully and work to be a better person and to better society? Or does it move you to seek to serve your own interests, even if it wears the sheen of piety?