The Soft Side of the Moon

i bet it feels good as fuck to intend to do something and then actually do it

the concept of a site that doesn't even allow porn requiring age verification for mature content. you gotta give us your legal id or else we'll hide random posts that were incorrectly flagged from you

everything is a reference when you're crazy

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that

don’t ever kill your self because maybe someday you will get brunch with your tumblr mutual

a severe thunderstorm warning that doesnt follow through is worse than orgasm denial

I have this theory that the more defensive an animal is around their home, the tastier their offspring must be. I came up with this theory two summers ago when my friend and I accidentally stepped on a yellow jacket nest and they proceeded to sting us so incredibly painfully and stalk us to try to finish the job. We barely made it out alive! Since yellow jackets don’t actually make anything tasty like honey, I concluded that there must be something even tastier worth protecting; their offspring. Yellowjacket larvae must be so incredibly delicious and tender that they must not only deliver a powerful sting, but hunt down any trespassers to death. Anyway, I don’t have any evidence for this theory yet but I’m hoping to try it out soon by acquiring a beekeeper costume and grabbing a yellow jacket grub to see what it tastes like

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

Draw him alive and well. Ok now draw him playing sudoku

Now draw him struggling at sudoku in a manner that is no longer endearing and is now embarassing