Er, excuse me, I think you're wonderful

don’t be sad because sad spelled backwards is das und das ist nicht gut

that feel when ur kinda suicidal but not rly bc ur not gonna kill urself u just wish u were dead

please. stop praying for my grandpa!!!! you are making him too strong. he broke out of the hospital and the cops cant get him. he’s too powerful

I’m really uncomfortable

“i expected better from you” well that was your fault lmao I got nothing to do with that

The two Jehovah’s Witnesses that always come to my door are alarmingly buff. Like, muscles-straining-through-their-white-dress-shirts buff. I don’t even have a joke to make about this, guys. I just feel like you should know that I am plagued by these righteously jacked proselytizers and that, for whatever reason, I’m constantly running into them at the grocery store and they always ask me how my cat is doing. It’s really somethin’.

they must do jehovahs fitness

FUCK. HOW DID I MISS THAT.

MY POOP IS COMING

i am both the distressed child and relaxing horse 

lmao no offense.. but what’s the point of being mean to people for no reason