Hurdy to the gurdy, yo.

i love when you’re talking to someone who’s not from florida and you just casually mention a thing that only happens in Florida and it ruins their whole day

one time i was talking to some guy and he was like “haha how do yall get alligators in your backyard? do you not have fences?” and i had to inform him that gators can absolutely climb fences

I’d like to think that the “STOP 🛑” sign is also for the gators.

The gators don’t abide by our petty laws. They are…instigators.

new phobia just dropped

haters will see multi-talented queens and develop a phobia

me when im so sweet and beautiful monday

My fav whaling logbook phenomenon is when their keeper opts NOT to use whale stamps and instead hand-draws very ornate whales to indicate when he sees them, but then as time goes on the whales get progressively shittier looking because that’s too much work. I know how it feels to get locked into an artistic bit later regretted, man.

Maybe he kept encountering shittier whales

new nemesis dropped

Hey, we can talk this out. We don't have to fight

WHO ARE YOU

Why does everyone think fiction is just fantasy wish fulfillment now and not like an exploration of themes and ideas

People will be like “this movie is evil and gross because it depicts a predatory relationship” and then you watch the movie in question and it’s about how preying on young women is bad and impacts their lives negatively

“Why would they do this instead of just making everyone in the movie nice and normal and good” so we would have this conversation….

crazy how the printer is the only piece of tech that acts up like that almost every day of its life. and we just accept it

i don't think i've ever met a printer that actually wanted to be a printer. i think most printers have dreams of being on the stage