Note: I only post my best works on Tumblr. Majority of my fics can be found in my ao3 profile: JingweiSujin. But I will include my ao3 series in this masterlist so you could go check it out if you want to.
Fics posted in Tumblr:
Genshin Impact
Poetry (turned into music): Ayaka x Thoma (can be read as romantic or platonic)
Summary:
Arts and Literature flow like the wind.
Ayaka paused.
Your Other Half: Raiden Ei x Lumine
Summary:
“They say that twins are one soul and one heart.”
How many times has Lumine heard that from people?
Honkai Impact
Tunes (of hope): Kiana Kaslana x Raiden Mei
Summary:
Kiana doesn’t remember the time when she first held a guitar.
Birthday Tunes (of love) [Second part of Tunes (of hope)]: Kiana Kaslana x Raiden Mei
Summary:
Raiden Mei has no experience with song writing.
To say (I love you): Kiana Kaslana x Raiden Mei
Summary:
Everything is fuzzy but you push on. It's ok, it's fine. Eventually, everything will be clear. Even when the world is almost silent, but loud. There is hope in the end.
Remember (she wants you to live on): Kiana Kaslana x Raiden Mei
TW: Suicide/Death
Summary:
Your name is Mei.
4 Years ago, something happened.
But you can't remember what.
Miss You (Promise us that you will return): Kiana Kaslana | K-423 & Bronya Zaychik, Kiana Kaslana/Raiden Mei (mentioned)
Summary:
You see your dear friend, right before you. You haven't seen her in 8 years.
...Or it's HoF!Kiana and Silverwing!Bronya interacting in the dorm because I want to see them interact.
Signs (that I love you): Kiana Kaslana/Raiden Mei
Summary:
You aren't so alone anymore.
Aka this is Mei's birthday fic.
In Hiding Snippet - Miss Knight: Fu Hua/Kiana Kaslana
Summary:
Hua and Kiana playing along with Griseo.
Part of the In Hiding universe, and is supposed to take place after the real chapter 12.
Series posted on Ao3:
The Traveler, the Shogun, the Tengu, and their friends: Genshin Impact
Description:
Lumine and Raiden Ei's journey through grief and personal loss with the help of their friends.
Kujou Sara tries to find her ambition and purpose.
The Road to Happiness: Honkai Impact
Description:
Kiana and Mei's journey back to each other.
Honkai Impact "What ifs": Honkai Impact
Description:
A series of fics in different alternate universes or "what ifs" centered around the Honkai Impact universe.
In Hiding: Honkai Impact
Description:
An AU wherein Kiana spent 6 years in the moon, and 2 years in ER.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Word count: 2,002
Pairing: Fu Hua/ Kiana Kaslana
Characters: Kiana Kaslana, Fu Hua, Griseo, Kosma, Elysia, Mobius
Note:
NOT CHAPTER 12
This is a snippet I wrote of the same universe. It is supposed to take place after chapter 12.
But since it isn't really done yet with the editing stuff, I'm posting this.
I ain't going anywhere, guys. I'm just juggling some stuff rn.
(originally a birthday gift bahaha)
Enjoy, we will try to get chapter 12 out as soon as possible.
(posting this in tumblr bc why not. go check out the full work, if you guys want to)
***
“Miss Knight, can we paint together?”
Kiana lets Griseo down from her shoulders, and collapses on the ground of the lounge, obviously exhausted from their previous endeavor. Hua kneels right beside her, an apologetic expression on her face.
But they both know that they can’t deny the kid, even if they tried.
“Princess, let your knight rest for a bit, please?” Kiana says, laughing softly as she closes her eyes for a bit. Griseo tilts her head, a confused expression on her face. Kiana opens her eyes again, and raises her hand to run her fingers through Griseo’s hair. The kid leans to her touch unconsciously.
She looks and acts like a puppy. Kiana shivers a bit at that. That doesn’t help my predicament right now.
“Knights can get tired too, Griseo.” Hua pipes in, explaining to the artist. “Let the knight rest for a bit, alright? Then we can paint together.”
“But I wanna stay with Miss Knight and the little bird.”
Shit! Hua and Kiana exchange looks. They both are smitten for Griseo, who is, at this point, already nuzzling Kiana’s hand. We really can’t say no to her, huh?
“Well, the princess could stay then.” Kiana sits up for a bit, lifts Griseo up, and puts her on her lap. Griseo immediately nuzzles her head on Kiana’s shoulder, getting comfortable. The white-haired woman chuckles, still stroking Griseo’s hair. “Tired, princess?” A nod from Griseo. “The knight and bird will rest with you then, alright?”
“Ok.” Griseo yawns a bit, eyes drooping. Hua scoots closer to Kiana and puts a hand on Griseo’s back. “We can do that.”
“Sleep, Griseo.” Kiana whispers to the half-asleep flame chaser. “Your knight and bird will be here, don’t worry.”
“Thank you.” Griseo says, sleepily, before closing her eyes. Kiana and Hua look at each other silently when they hear Griseo’s even breaths.
“Quite a tiring day, huh?” Hua lays down on the ground right beside Kiana and the napping Griseo. Kiana is silent, staring at Hua with a smile.
“I mean, yeah.” Kiana nuzzles Griseo a bit. “But it is worth it. Her smile is precious.”
“Smitten.” Hua teases Kiana, who just looks at her with a smug look. She nudges the knight a little, teasing her. “So you like kids, huh?”
“Well,” Kiana pauses, and looks down at Griseo while talking, “I just want to give them happiness. A child’s innocence could never be taken back once it’s gone.”
“You speak from experience.” Hua notes, while Kiana just shakes her head. Hua knows, of course she does. She could read Kiana like an open book now. Whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing, or maybe even both, Kiana doesn’t know. “Is this because of your childhood?”
“Well, I don’t remember much of it.” Kiana reasons to the other flame chaser. She doesn’t point out that she and Hua are practically the same at that factor. A teenager’s innocence ripped away by the honkai. “But I do remember some of the details.”
“So you want to give Griseo the happiness that you experienced back then.”
“Maybe that’s the case.” Kiana says as Hua leans on her other shoulder. She smiles softly at that. “Or maybe it’s because I genuinely like being her knight.”
“Our knight.” Hua whispers to herself, though Kiana caught wind of it. Kiana smirks, and leans towards Hua, planting a kiss on her forehead.
“Getting possessive, huh?” Kiana holds back her laughter when Hua just flicks her forehead in indignation. Her flustered expression says otherwise. “I don’t mind. In fact,” Kiana hugs Griseo to herself with one hand, while the other takes a hold of Hua’s, “before the princess, the knight served the little bird, remember?”
Hua’s face turns even more red when Kiana plants a kiss on her knuckles. She turns away, muttering swear words to herself, but lets Kiana continue her actions. Kiana has this fond look on her face that Hua couldn’t take looking at it for long.
Honestly, why am I still not used to this? Hua glances back at the young Kaslana, who just smiles at her silently. She does this on a regular basis, but I couldn’t help it.
“If it wasn’t for Elysia, Griseo would have never found out, you know?” Hua says while coughing, in an attempt to cover up her flustered state. Kiana doesn’t know how much her actions affect Hua to an extent. “That megaphone of hers does wonders…”
(“Miss Knight~ Your bird is looking for you!”
Hua groans, as Elysia drags her around the realm, looking for the young Kaslana. She is tasked by Mobius to find her and bring her to the lab for her check up, but Kiana is nowhere to be found in the lounge. She checked their bedroom but she wasn’t there either.
Which brings her to her current predicament: Elysia’s megaphone.
“Elysia, is this truly necessary?” Hua complains, trying to keep up with Elysia. Elysia laughs gleefully, humming to a tune Eden and Kiana composed. Hua sighs. “There is no need for this.”
“But it’s quicker this way!” With all their bickering, they don’t notice two figures in the corner of the battlegrounds. Griseo and Kosma glance at each other in silence, with Griseo’s brush hovering over her canvas as if her painting session was interrupted by the commotion.
“Kosma, what is going on?” Griseo questions quietly, dabbing her brush on the canvas absentmindedly. Kosma watches as Hua and Elysia slowly walk towards their direction, with Elysia holding her megaphone. Kosma flinches at that. Oh no.
“They seem to be looking for something.” Kosma notes for Griseo, who looks over curiously. Hua’s and Elysia’s bickering becomes clearer for them as they come closer.
“We’re just looking for your knight! Isn’t this the most efficient way?”
“But it’s the most obnoxious thing!”
Knight? Griseo perks up a bit at that. There is a knight in the realm? Like Mr. Knight?
“Hello, Griseo~!” Elysia skips towards her, with Hua in tow. Hua looks tired, and spent. Elysia must have dragged her around for a long time. “Have you seen a white knight? Little bird over here is looking for her.”
“White knight?” Griseo’s eyes sparkle in fascination, which basically melts the other three flame chasers’ hearts. “Who?”
Hua smiles fondly at the young artist. “Elysia is referring to Kia, Griseo.” Griseo’s smile widens at that. “Kia is the white knight.”
“Kia-jiejie?” Griseo puts down her brush and palette, and jumps up, surprising Kosma greatly. “I haven’t seen her, but-”
“Want to look for the knight with us, Griseo?” Elysia proposes to Griseo. Griseo’s smile can light up the entire room. Kosma lets out a chuckle at the sight. “After all, a knight needs a princess like you, right?”
Griseo glances at Hua for confirmation, who just smiles, and kneels down to her level. “I’m sure Miss Knight will be glad that the princess is looking for her.”
Griseo lets out a little laugh at that, which just further melts the hearts of the flame chasers there. Hua takes a hold of Griseo’s hand, and stands up to her feet.
“Come on, then~” Elysia takes the lead in front of them, megaphone in hand. Griseo is all smiles. “Let’s look for the knight!”)
Kiana takes up her role as Griseo’s knight really well, Kosma notes.
He watches as Kiana hoists Griseo up to her shoulders and marches forward per Griseo’s commands. She listens intently to what Griseo is rambling about and answers accordingly, which just encourages Griseo to talk more.
Frankly speaking, she’s good with children.
Or maybe she’s just dedicated. Kosma turns back, and takes a seat somewhere far away from them. He brings out his harmonica, and plays a tune. This…peaceful atmosphere is welcome.
“Griseo, be careful with your paint.”
Kiana lets Griseo down, who pulls her by the sleeve to sit down by her. She complies, taking the offered brush from the flame chaser. “So what do you want to paint?”
Griseo hums in thought, glancing at her as if examining her. Kiana doesn’t mind it really. She merely sets the brush down on the palette, and tilts her head.
“Please stay still.”
Well, looks like I’m not moving for the next few hours. Kiana settles in her position, idly humming under her breath. After all, Griseo likes to take her time.
So the knight did what the princess wanted. She stayed relatively still for a few hours, idly chatting with the artist at the same time. Griseo looks focused, glancing at her for a few minutes, before continuing to mix up colors and painting at the canvas.
“Am I interrupting?” Hua steps into Kiana’s view, as she stands right beside Griseo. She looks over the painting with a curious look on her face. “So Kia’s your muse, princess?” Griseo beckons her closer, with a pleading look on her face.
Kiana doesn’t know why, but the sudden feeling of joy fills her being. She doesn’t make it obvious, nor does she make a sound. She just merely watches.
But, of course, Kiana couldn’t escape Hua’s piercing gaze. Hua smiles at her, with a hint of intrigue in her eyes, as she bends down a bit so that Griseo could whisper something to her.
They’re planning something, aren’t they?
All her suspicions are confirmed, when Hua stands up straight, grabs Griseo’s beret, and forcefully puts it on the knight’s head. Kiana yelps in indignation, which makes the artist laugh gleefully at the sound.
“Princess? Little bird?” Kiana questions, a confused look on her face as Hua adjusts the hat on her head. “What is this about?”
“Art.” Griseo smiles a small smile, rendering Kiana’s questions to a stop. “It…looks good on you, Kia-jiejie. Now, I can finish my painting.”
Hua fixes her hair a bit before stepping back, and giving her a smug look. “I only did what the princess wished for me to do, Miss Knight.” Kiana turns red at that. Hua’s voice does wonders to her. “She is right, you know? You do look good.”
“I-” Kiana clears her throat in an attempt to compose herself. Griseo tilts her head again, her eyes sparkling in amazement. Kiana’s shoulders slump at that. “Are you sure about this, princess? This hat is-”
“Wear it.” Griseo whines, making Kiana and Hua freeze at the tone of her voice. They do not want her to cry nor to be sad. They’re literally doing this to keep her happy. “Please, Miss Knight?”
“I-” Kiana relents, slumping back on her seat. She fixes the position of the artist’s hat on her head again for a bit. “If that’s what you wish, princess.”
Griseo beams at that.
And that’s when Hua and Kiana knew that they’d do anything for this kid.
(“You look stupid.”
Kiana sputters at Mobius’ comment as she enters the lab for her check up. She does not dare take the beret off, lest Griseo would see it and throw a fit. The last thing they want is for her to be saddened by something trivial. “I only did-”
“What the princess wants you to do, yes?” Mobius smirks at the flabbergasted woman. She plays with her pen, spinning it around. “Do not worry. This humble doctor won’t pry.”
Kiana blinks in astonishment.
Mobius? THE Doctor Mobius? The one who is grumpy and grouchy all the time?
Playing along with them?
What the fuck?
Elysia is gonna have a field day because of this! Kiana is rendered silent, staring at the doctor in disbelief. Is the world ending?
But Mobius doesn’t attempt to explain her words. She merely turns back to her documents, and gestures the knight closer to her. Kiana stumbles forward, still in astonishment.
It’s the least I can do as Aunt Mobius to her. Mobius smirks, as she orders Kiana to sit down on the chair right beside her. A knight, a little bird, and a doctor, huh?
I wonder who will be the next to be dragged into this little play.)
***
A/N:
Posting of Chapter 12:
Earliest tentative date: Next week
Latest: before the end of the year
Full work on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36653680/chapters/91427947
Characters: Kiana Kaslana, Raiden Mei, Fu Hua, Bronya Zaychik, Theresa Apocalypse, Murata Himeko, Raven, Elysia, Adam (APHO), Carole (APHO)
Summary:
You aren't so alone anymore.
Aka this is Mei's birthday fic.
A/N: Happy bday, Mei! HAHAHA
Hard of hearing!Kiamei won the twt poll so here it is ^^
As always, thanks for reading ^^
Posted on Ao3.
***
“Don’t burn the kitchen down!”
Mei wakes up to shouting and chaos.
She rubs her eyes sleepily as she sits up on her bed. What time is it? 5 in the morning? What kind of ruckus happens at 5 in the morning? Nonetheless, she gets off the bed, stretches for a bit, and walks slowly to the bathroom to freshen up.
Meanwhile, Himeko, Kiana, Fu Hua, Bronya, and Theresa are arguing in the kitchen. Kiana is sitting down by the dining table, visibly dazed and confused, not really hearing everything that is going on. Today is one of those hard days, and Kiana doesn’t really want to deal with it.
But at the same time, it’s Mei-senpai’s birthday! She couldn’t just sit there being lazy! She has to at least make her birthday special!
“We should take Fu Hua’s idea.” Theresa proposes, earning her a glare from Himeko. “What? I think it’s better than yours.”
“I swear, principal, my idea is more feasible.” Himeko states confidently, crossing her arms, and raising a brow at her. Theresa shakes her head in amusement.
“Major, you are drunk. There is no way that food combination would work.”
“I am not! And you say that but you think Bittermelon juice is delicious!” Himeko protests. Fu Hua and Theresa look at her skeptically, and she huffs. “I didn’t even drink today.”
“The Bronya thinks Himeko-sensei isn’t intoxicated.” Bronya pipes up, silently drinking her juice. Himeko perks up a bit.
“See?!”
A sigh from the class monitor. “Alright, I think we should quiet down now.”
The voices around her are muffled, and she internally groans, burying her head in her arms. She’s not used to waking up at 5 am, but she would do anything for Mei-senpai. Even if it would require her to get up at dawn, too early for her tastes.
She feels a tap on her shoulder, and she sits up, turning to Himeko, who gives her a slightly worried look. But she smiles lightly, giving a thumbs up to reassure her teacher.
Her teacher signs subtly to her, while saying it out loud.
“Will you be alright for today?”
Kiana blinks, but nods. She will be. Afterall, today isn’t about her.
“Yes, Aunt Himeko.” She whispers so that the others wouldn’t hear. She yawns, and stands up from the dining table. “I’ll stay out of the kitchen so you can work.”
Himeko smiles a bit, but Kiana could still see a hint of concern in her eyes. “You’re extra cooperative today, huh?”
“I just don’t want Mei to have a hard time with me, that’s all.” Kiana says vaguely, putting her hands in her pajama pockets. She turns and waves a bit, walking towards the rooms. The bickering dwindles.
Mei’s door swings open, and Kiana stops in her tracks.
“Kiana?” Mei asks, yawning a bit. Kiana shakes her head, takes Mei’s hand, and drags her back into her room, closing the door. “Why are you awake this early?”
“Why else?” She asks in a happy voice. Mei tilts her head to the side, and gives a small confused smile. Kiana blinks, surprised at Mei’s confusion. Did Mei-senpai really forget what day it is? How could she forget her own birthday?
“Mei-senpai, what date is it today?”
Mei hums in thought. “April…13?” Kiana snickers. She never had thought Mei would forget her own birthday.
“And what do you celebrate during April 13?”
“....My birthday?” Mei finally remembers. Kiana laughs at her bewildered expression. She really did forget, didn’t she? “Is that why there was shouting in the kitchen?”
“That’s a secret~” Kiana says, flopping onto Mei’s bed. Mei shakes her head, and joins the white-haired girl, laying on her side so she could face Kiana. “Let us treat you today.” Kiana says, as she pulls Mei closer to her. Mei hums, burying her head on Kiana’s shoulder. This casual intimacy between them doesn’t go unnoticed by the Kaslana. Her face reddens a bit, but she smiles, leaning her head on top of Mei’s. “And besides, they’re already cooking up a celebration for you.”
“You all didn’t have to.” Mei says, her voice muffled by Kiana’s shirt. Kiana strains to hear her, biting her lip. “We could just celebrate it normally.”
“What’s normal in our lives?” Kiana laughs out loud. Mei smiles at the sound of her laughter, holding her a tad bit tighter. “And you deserve it, don’t you think?”
If Mei is being honest, she would say that there is no need. She really thinks that it isn’t a big deal.
But she knows Kiana would disagree.
Because she is like that! She thinks that Mei deserves the world, that Mei deserves to be happy. She saved Mei for goodness sake, of course she would say that Mei deserves everything.
The others would likely say the same thing.
So Mei shuts her mouth, her self-deprecating thoughts fading away. If Kiana thinks she deserves this, then she does deserve it.
“Girls!” Himeko barges into the room, with a small cake in one hand. Bronya, Fu Hua, and Theresa peek from the doorway, all with smiles on their faces. Mei and Kiana reluctantly let go of each other, and they both sit up on the bed. “Especially you, Mei! Come here!”
Mei smiles, stands up, and offers a hand to Kiana, which she takes. “Yes, Himeko-sensei. We’re coming.” She laughs when Bronya takes her other hand impatiently, and drags her out of the room, with the other three following right behind them. Kiana tilts her head to the right to hear Mei’s laughter even more clearly.
Mei never really laughed this much before, and Kiana wants to treasure that laughter for as long as she lives.
Those were the happier times.
(Mei silently sits down on the couch in the Elysian Realm.
She is tired, so tired of fighting. But what could she do? She signed up for this, willingly left Kiana and the others to their own devices (she really didn’t, but she couldn’t help but think that) and joined an organization that was supposed to be her enemy.
But here she is, in the Elysian Realm, trying to find answers about the past.
She sighs.
“Mei~” The pink-haired flamechaser greets the herrscher. Mei silently tilts her head to the side, and signs.
“Elysia, what do you want?”
Elysia hums in confusion. “Mei, what are you doing?” She sits beside her, a smile still etched on her face. “You’ve been doing that quite a lot, huh?”
Mei abruptly stops signing, looking down to her hands. She never realized that she signs instinctively now, never really realized that she has grown quieter.
Elysia and the others never really pointed it out, when she signed and they wouldn’t understand. They simply wait for her to start talking again. It’s the first time someone expressed their confusion about it to her.
Of all people, it had to be Elysia…
“Sorry for that.” Mei says sheepishly. “I…just do it instinctively, sorry again.”
“No one minds!” Elysia is quick to reassure the herrscher. She sees Mei’s hands twitch again, and shakes her head. “Really, no one minds! I’m just curious, that’s all.”
“Ah.” Mei relaxes a bit, clenching her right fist tightly. She doesn’t know if she could tell Elysia, to be honest. It’s too personal.
But at the same time, she does want to explain.
So she bites.
“It’s because of my…girlfriend.” Mei starts quietly. “She…can’t hear that well. We usually converse in sign language because of that.”
“And is that girlfriend the reason why you are here now?"
Mei looks up to Elysia with visible surprise in her eyes. “How did you know that?” She has only talked about Kiana today, as far as she remembers. But all Elysia does is send a teasing smile her way.
“It seems like it, dear Mei.” Elysia huffs when she sees Mei looking at her with a little glare. “Now, now, why so serious? I was just asking!”
Mei sighs. “Forget it.”
Elysia stops, and tilts her head. Mei seems especially more…quiet today than usual. Elysia assumed that she would immediately go for a run through the realm again today, but no, she’s just here, sitting on the couch, as if to only pass some time.
There’s something about today that feels different. Elysia doesn’t know what.
The answer comes through the form of Raven.
“Aish, you left so quickly that I wasn’t able to give you your gift.” Raven enters the realm with a small box in her hands. Mei looks at her with a deadpan expression, and Raven just laughs. “This is from Sora and me especially.” She shoves the small gift into Mei’s hands, who just looks at it curiously. “Happy Birthday.”
Birthday?
Birthday?!
“Why didn’t you tell me it is your birthday?!” Elysia exclaims, and Mei groans quietly, glaring a bit at Raven but grumbling a “thank you” for the gift. Raven just smirks, and watches as the pink-haired flamechaser stumbles about. “This is an urgent matter-”
“It’s not a big deal.” Truly, Mei doesn’t see the need to celebrate her birthday right now. Not when she’s so far away from Kiana and the others (not when her teacher is dead and not with them anymore-) . She just figured that she would stay in the realm all day today and just lounge about.
But now that Elysia knows, she for sure is about to get dragged into some chaos.
“Birthday?” Mei jumps in her seat a bit because of Eden’s sudden entrance. “Happy Birthday, Miss Raiden. I could see that Ellie is trying to plan a celebration today, huh?”
“I didn’t tell her for a reason.” Mei deadpans. Eden just chuckles.
“It’s Ellie, Miss Raiden. She just wants you to enjoy your own birthday.”
And true to Eden’s word, Elysia gathers all of the flamechasers into the lounge, and throws a mini celebration. Mei is quiet the whole time, but everyone could see that little smile on her face.
And when Eden sings a little birthday tune, Elysia giving her a cake, and with the others giving her some small gifts of their own (even Kalpas who grumbled that birthdays aren’t that special), she figures that she could at least enjoy this moment a bit.
The next time she enters the realm, Elysia signs her a “hello.”
She smiles, and signs back.)
It has been 8 years.
But Mei hasn’t given up. They were separated once, and reunited. They are separated again, but Mei knows that they will be reunited once again.
So she sings a little tune, as she eats by the window, where she could see the moon. Theresa, Fu Hua, and Bronya had already given her some birthday wishes earlier. She accepted their gifts with a smile.
But they all know what she is truly feeling. They basically tackled her into a hug, and didn’t let go until hours later.
Mei hugged all of them as tight as they could.
Her squad members didn’t know it was her birthday either. They balked when they overheard the overseer greeting her a happy birthday.
Carole panicked, and Adam was visibly a bit disturbed. But Mei had laughed it off, telling them it really wasn’t a big deal, that they don’t have to do anything about it. Afterall, it is just a birthday.
She stares up the moon, and sighs.
“I know you want me to be happy.” She signs. She knows Kiana couldn’t see it, but there’s that part of her that hopes that Kiana would know anyway.
Because that’s how they are. They know everything about each other even though they don’t say it out loud.
“I know you want me to celebrate today.” Mei pauses for a bit, and takes a deep breath. “But celebrating without you feels so wrong.”
She could practically imagine Kiana huffing at that. She could imagine Kiana telling her off for that.
“Your birthday is about you, not me. So even if I’m not there, I want you to be happy.”
That’s what Kiana would probably say.
“I’m trying, my dear. I am trying.” She gets up, and turns back to put her dishes in the sink. “But truly…I wish you are right here with me now. It isn’t special without you.”
“So return soon, okay?” She turns back to look at the moon once more, with a sad smile. “Because my happiness is with you.”
The next day, Carole and Adam give her a small bracelet and a picture frame that has a picture of the three of them together. Mei laughs tearfully, and brings her squad members into a hug.
She wears the bracelet everyday, and puts the picture frame in her office.
(Someone is gently shaking her awake.
Mei opens her eyes and sees Kiana beaming at her. Mei smiles at the sight, pulling the white-haired woman down for a kiss.
“Mei!” Kiana signs once they pull away. “It’s your birthday!”
Mei laughs at her wife’s excitement, and just pulls her a bit closer. “Yes, dear. It is.”
She runs her fingers through her wife’s bed hair. Kiana hums at the feeling of her touch.
“Aunt Theresa got you a day off. She’s coming along with Fu Hua, Bronya, and the kids.” Kiana signs once more to her. Mei just looks at her with a fond expression.
Now they could truly celebrate.
“They’re not coming for a few more hours, are they?” Mei signs to her wife, who shakes her head as an answer. “Then I have you to myself for a few more hours.” Kiana laughs out loud at that, and Mei’s smile grows bigger.
“Mei, you have me for the rest of our lives.”
“Yeah.” Mei says out loud, pulling Kiana down for another kiss. They both pull away, out of breath. “Yeah, I do.”
“I’m not leaving you again.” Kiana says with conviction. “You won’t have to celebrate alone again.”
She truly isn’t alone anymore, is she? Mei is thankful for that.
“I love you.” Mei signs, a loving expression on her face. Kiana softens at that. She signs to her slowly to show her sincerity.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Word count: 2,015
Pairing:
Kiana Kaslana | K-423 & Bronya Zaychik, Kiana Kaslana/Raiden Mei (mentioned)
Characters: Kiana Kaslana, Raiden Mei, Fu Hua, Bronya Zaychik, Seele Vollerei, Theresa Apocalypse, Captain Hyperion
Summary:
You see your dear friend, right before you.
You haven't seen her in 8 years.
...Or it's HoF!Kiana and Silverwing!Bronya interacting in the dorm because I want to see them interact.
A/N: :')) i got silverwing bronya but at what cost
my sanity and my wallet
Posted on Ao3 back on January.
***
This place brings back old memories.
Bronya sits on the couch, swinging her legs off the edge. It’s been a few years since she saw this dormitory. The Captain had asked her to visit one time, and now she’s here, observing younger versions of the people she knows of.
And herself, she guesses. Looking at her younger self makes her want to curl up in the corner and scream internally.
“Ah. You’re new?”
Bronya looks up to see Kiana, looking at her with a smile. Her heart ached at the sight of her, silently wishing that Mei was right here with her so that she could see Kiana, at least one more time, even though it is a younger version of her. Bronya nods, answering Kiana’s question.
Kiana hums, and sits beside her. “Well, welcome. I didn’t know the Captain recruited somebody else.”
Kiana doesn’t recognize her, but that’s okay. Bronya is more than content with the fact that she can talk to her right now. “I just arrived yesterday.”
“Understandable.” Kiana chuckles. “I’m beginning to like you already.” Bronya just looks down with a small smile on her face.
How long has it been since she last saw her friend? 8 years, almost a decade. All of them had gone through a hard time, and somehow, Bronya is lucky enough to see her again, even in this small dormitory space.
“Anyways!” Kiana crosses her legs. “Tell me about yourself.”
Bronya freezes at that. She doesn’t know what to tell Kiana. Should she say that she’s technically from the future? That she knows what’s going to happen? She doesn’t want Kiana to be conflicted, and she also doesn’t want to jeopardize the future.
“Well, I’m a game designer.” She settles with that statement. Kiana’s eyes suddenly sparkle with curiosity and glee. Bronya smiles at that.
Some things never change, even when they mature and grow up.
“Game designer?” Kiana asks her excitedly. “Tell me, what kind of games? How do you design the characters?” Kiana stops herself, and barks out a laugh. “I’m sorry. When it comes to gaming, I tend to get out of control.”
Don’t be sorry, please. This is really refreshing to see . But Bronya doesn’t voice that out. Instead, she just chuckles, and shakes her head.
“It’s alright. I understand.” She waves it off. “Trust me, I don’t mind.”
“Ah,” Kiana snaps her fingers, “so you’re used to this? Are you famous?”
Oh God. Bronya buries her head onto her hands, as she hears Kiana laughing to her delight. Kiana, for goodness sake, give me a break.
“So?” Kiana’s teasing voice rings in Bronya’s head. “Are you famous?”
“Not yet-” Bronya blurts out. She realizes what she says, and screams into her hands. Kiana laughs harder at her answer and at her predicament.
“I’m joking.” Kiana says to her, and she turns serious for a moment. “Bronya, I’m joking.”
Bronya freezes at that, and slowly looks up to Kiana. “You…know?”
“Of course!” Kiana says, as if offended by her hidden assumption. “Let me guess, the younger me didn’t recognize you.”
“Sort of.” Bronya recalls the moment she first stepped into this dorm. Kiana’s younger self, the time when they were all still studying in St. Freya didn't recognize her. But Bronya isn’t offended. She understands that she looks different now. She even acts differently. It is really understandable that she won’t recognize her.
But this Kiana recognizes her. And she doesn’t know why.
“You’re from the future, huh?” Kiana smiles at her. But Bronya looks away. Because the future they are living in is safe and bright is mainly because of the person right beside her right now. She doesn’t have the heart to tell her what happened, she can’t.
Bronya wishes for the nth time that Mei is here. It will do her good to see Kiana again.
“...How is everyone?” Kiana asks. Bronya takes a deep breath.
“...We’re all alright, Kiana.” Bronya smiles reassuringly. “We are all alright.”
“Ah.” Kiana lets out a weak laugh. “So the plan worked.”
Bronya blinks, and in a spur of the moment, she grabs Kiana’s collar, and pulls her closer forcefully, gritting her teeth. “What do you fucking mean by that?” She asks angrily, shaking her. But her grip on her loosens when she just sees Kiana smile in resignation. She speaks the next words quietly. “Why did you…”
“Bronya.” Kiana places a hand on Bronya’s. “I…I have planned to do this since before we battled Otto.”
Bronya doesn’t let go of Kiana, she just looks down, and heaves a breath. So Kiana continues, knowing Bronya needs to hear this. They both need to hear this. It's for closure, for both of them. “I knew what we needed to do.” She speaks softly, as if she is speaking to a child. But that’s what Bronya feels at the moment. She feels like she is a child, helpless and vulnerable.
“And…I did it willingly.” Kiana says. “Or…in my case,” she chuckles, as if trying to lift Bronya’s mood. It doesn’t work, but it is worth a try, “I will do it willingly when the time comes.”
“But…Mei.” Bronya mutters. Kiana’s breath hitches at that. Gotcha.
Mei will always be Kiana’s weak spot.
“Well, I assume that she is as strong as ever.” Kiana says, her voice shaking. Both of them don’t pay it heed. If they do, both of them will break down in this dormitory. “Because I’m sure all of you are closer than ever.”
Bronya wants to tell her everything that happened. How Mei struggled to find a new purpose other than fighting. How Mei will call her each night, telling her that she misses Kiana, that she doesn’t know what to do.
Bronya answers her calls with the same thing.
She misses Kiana.
The calls increased when Mei and her squad were investigating St. Fountain.
(Bronya stretches her arms, and rubs her eyes. It’s already 3 am, and she is not closer to finishing work.
“God,” Bronya stands up from her chair, and walks to her shelf, picking out a book, “what an ungodly hour to be awake.”
Her phone rings from her desk, and she internally groans. She snatches the phone from her desk, and looks at the contact.
Mei.
Bronya stops at that, and answers the call. Because she will always have time for Mei, she will always have time for the people she cares for.
Even if it's 3 am, and she still has work to do.
“Mei.” Bronya answers. “What’s up?”
“Bronya.” Mei’s voice rings in her ears. She could practically imagine Mei’s relieved smile while talking to her. “I’m glad you answered.”
“Always.” Bronya says in a light tone. Mei barks out a laugh, which makes Bronya smile.
Happiness. Mei needs to smile more.
“Did you know of the disturbances in St. Fountain?” Mei asks her. Bronya pauses at that.
She does know. She vaguely remembers Overseer Theresa calling her and telling her about the situation. The Overseer also wants Bronya to come back to the battlefield as the new acting squad leader.
But Bronya isn’t too sure. She left the battlefield for a reason; and that’s because she had been in it all her life.
Did she have a childhood? All they all did was fight the Honkai, kill.
Aim precisely and shoot. Do not miss a target-
Bronya shakes her head to get rid of that thought. She hasn’t given Theresa a concrete answer yet, and she still doesn’t know what her answer is. “Yes.” She finally answers Mei.
Mei sighs at that. “...I don’t know what to do.”
Bronya keeps quiet about that. Because she also doesn’t know. What are they supposed to do? Well, fight of course. But it gets tiring. It wears them out, to the point of collapsing. It does a lot to their mental health and stability.
At the end of the day, they’re still humans; former herrscher or not. They have limits.
“...What do you want to do?” Bronya answers her with a question instead. She hears Mei breathe shakily at that. “Be honest with me. What do you want to do?”
“To fight.” Mei answers her as confidently as she could. Bronya could still hear the shakiness in her voice. “Because, like she said, fight for all that is beautiful in this world.”
“...yeah.” Bronya gives out a shaky laugh. “Yeah, that’s a good answer.”
“We will not give up, right?” Mei asks her in a small voice. “We will not give up. Because she didn’t.”
“...You’re right.” Bronya lets out a wet chuckle. “We will not.”
Now she knows her answer.
She calls Theresa in the morning, and says yes to her offer.)
“That doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve to be there with us!” Bronya exclaims. They are making a scene, they know it, but they don't really care at this point. They need to do this for themselves. “We want you there too!”
“I want to be there with all of you!” Kiana shouts at her, silencing her. Kiana heaves a breath. “I also want to live, to be happy, to be able to be with you guys!” Bronya lets go of her collar, and Kiana voices out everything tearfully. “I want to see your success, I want to see Mei smile, I want to see and hug Aunt Theresa, and I want to see Fu Hua doing what she wants.” She chuckles wetly, rubbing at her eyes. “...I want to be happy too.”
“But why?” Bronya asks her, clenching her fists. “Why then?”
“Because I love all of you.” Kiana finally says to her. “I don’t want all of you to suffer again; I don’t want to see children, like us, being thrown to the battlefield only to be forced to grow up quickly because of everything that is happening.” She looks at Bronya, and smiles sadly. “I don’t want anyone else to experience what happened to us.”
“But we could have done it together.” Bronya says. She thinks of how Mei and the others will react to this. What would Mei and the others think if they hear everything that Kiana is telling her right now?
What would Mei feel?
What would Theresa feel?
What would Fu Hua feel?
Bronya especially wonders about Fu Hua. They haven’t heard from her for some months or so. She is traveling, for once, doing what she wants. And Bronya is happy for her.
But she wonders, how did Fu Hua cope?
They all coped badly at first. That is understandable. But they learn how to adapt, how to live with it.
But that doesn’t mean that it still doesn’t hurt.
“But,” Kiana cuts off her thoughts, and reaches out to ruffle Bronya’s hair, “I am sure of one thing.” Bronya leans on her touch, and Kiana smiles at her. “I will return. Remember that.”
“...I…” Bronya sighs, and closes her eyes. “I will remember that.”
We will all remember that.
“And besides, I have to propose to Mei-senpai. Oh, and I want to see you and Seele be happy.” Kiana says in a joking tone, lifting the mood. But Bronya knows that she is serious. She turns red at the implication. Oh, she is serious indeed. “I want to see your game too.”
“...Of course, Kiana.” Bronya smiles at her. “Kiana idiotka.”
“Oi.” Kiana laughs. “I’m not an idiot anymore.”
“You’re our idiot.” Bronya says, and suddenly lays her on the couch, eliciting a surprised noise from Kiana. “Shush.”
“Fucking lay on my lap, you.” Bronya obeys, and Kiana laughs in delight. “I wonder what the others will say when they see us like this.”
“Unbelievable! Being civil for once?” Bronya teases her, and they both laugh in delight. They both turn quiet for a moment, until Bronya speaks out in a small voice. “Let’s stay like this for a while.”
“Yeah.” Kiana relaxes against the couch. She runs her fingers through Bronya’s hair, and Bronya closes her eyes at the touch. “Let’s."
Word count: 3,587
Pairing: Kiana Kaslana/Raiden Mei
Characters: Kiana Kaslana, Raiden Mei, Fu Hua, Bronya Zaychik, Murata Himeko, Theresa Apocalypse
Summary:
Your name is Mei.
4 Years ago, something happened.
But you can't remember what.
TW: Suicide/Death
A/N: Kind of an omori au since i used elements from the game, but i modified it to fit hi3's universe.
Also one scene is based on an art work i saw:
(https://cloud-ya.tumblr.com/post/625136244918272000/lament-of-the-fallen-scene-where-mei-joins-world)
Posted on Ao3 back in January.
***
“Welcome to White Space. You have been living here for as long as you remember.”
Mei wakes up in a room; a plain white room. She looks around quietly, slowly getting up to stand. There is a desk with a computer on it, a journal, a photo album, a computer, and a cat.
A cat? Why is that there? She shakes her head, getting rid of any thoughts.
Not now. It’s not the time to think yet.
Her body feeling heavier than it usually is, she drags herself to the desk. She slowly opens the photo album.
There is no picture inside, not even one.
But there are descriptions, there are statements. She couldn’t read them all, not now at least. She knows that. So, she closes it, and takes a look into the journal.
It’s just filled with frantically written scripts. She doesn’t understand them.
But she is sure this is her own writing.
Not that she remembers what she wrote though.
She closes the journal, and checks around.
There is a sword, lying in the distance. She blinks, and gets it, grasping it tightly, unsheathing it.
The sword pulses with dark energy, one that she doesn’t like. But somehow, her gut tells her to keep the sword, to take it with her.
So she does, sheathing it again. She lets it hang around her waist, and heads towards the door.
And opens it.
It’s another room, but this time, more colorful than hers. She closes the room, and gets down the stairs.
“ Mei. ” Fu Hua and Bronya look up from their video game consoles. “Took you long enough.”
“We were worried.” Bronya pipes in quietly as she turns off her video game console. “You were missing for a couple of days. Did something happen?”
“Eh? I’m sure everything’s fine.” Fu Hua waves Bronya’s concern off. She approaches Mei and grabs her wrist, tugging her towards Bronya. “If something happened, she would have warned us, right Mei?”
Mei nods, looking down sheepishly. Bronya gets up, and puts her hands in her pockets. “So you weren’t in danger?”
Mei looks at her, confused. Fu Hua and Bronya exchange some looks before sighing and leading her towards another staircase.
“Anyway, Kiana was worried sick.” Fu Hua tells Mei who just blinks at her. “Really, she was looking for you for days.”
“Da. Kiana idiotka wouldn’t take a break.” Bronya says, as she opens the door to the other side. “Kept asking for you. It’s driving Himeko -sensei and Principal Theresa nuts.”
“Speaking of, where is Theresa ?” Fu Hua asks. Bronya shrugs. “Is she with Kiana and Himeko?”
“Probably., seeing as she isn’t with us.” Bronya says. Mei looks around their surroundings. This place looks like a school. It seems really familiar, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. Right up ahead is what seems to be a training ground. But further than that is a huge building, what Mei assumes is the main building.
Fu Hua and Bronya lead her to the training ground where Himeko , Theresa , and Kiana are bickering amongst themselves about school work.
“Sensei!” Bronya calls out, as they approach them. They all turn to them and visibly perk up at the sight of Mei .
“Mei-senpai!” Kiana flings herself to her, and Mei catches her. “Where were you?” She huffs and pouts, stomping her foot on the ground. Mei blinks, and shrugs slowly in response. “Doesn’t matter.” Kiana sighs, and shakes her head. “You’re back. That’s what matters.”
This is…strangely familiar . She couldn’t remember, her brain is fuzzy at the moment. But she hugs Kiana tighter.
As if she is her lifeline.
Maybe she is. Maybe that’s why you are-
And all Kiana does is smile at her reassuringly. It makes the dread go away for just a tiny bit of time.
But that’s enough for Mei .
“Anyhow,” Himeko stretches, “we better start training. Unless, you want to explore?”
“Explore what? The school?” Theresa rolls her eyes. Himeko stares her down, to the point that Theresa relents. “Alright, at ease, Major.” Theresa relents, sighing. “If the kids want, we can go walk around.”
“Kids?” Fu Hua mutters indignantly. Bronya stares at her with an emotionless look, and Mei just tilts her head to the side. “I’m a kid?”
“Yes.” Himeko smirks at Fu Hua who just looks at her indignantly. “You are.” She turns to Theresa , leaving Fu Hua to sulk and for Bronya to pat her back, comforting her. “Why don’t you explore with them, Theresa?”
“Of course.” Theresa says, pinching the bridge of her nose. “And you, Kiana?”
Everyone turns to Kiana , who is still holding on to Mei . She bites her lip, and slowly gets out of Mei’s embrace.
“I’ll stay with Himeko-sensei.” She smiles at Mei who looks at her with a pleading expression. “Don’t worry.” She whispers for only Mei to hear. “I’ll be here when you come back. I always am.”
Mei slowly nods, taking Theresa’s offered hand, and grasping it tightly. Kiana and Himeko wave them goodbye with smiles on their faces.
But somehow, that makes Mei feel sad.
And she doesn’t know why.
You’re leaving them again. Just like how you almost did those years ago, when she-
“Alright, where to?” Fu Hua kicks a pebble that was on the way. Theresa hums in thought, squeezing Mei’s hand tightly.
Somehow, that makes Mei relax.
“We can just walk, you know?” Bronya says. Fu Hua stares at her, before crossing her arms.
“You’re floating.”
“Shush.” Bronya says as they roam. “It’s walking for me. ”
“Yes, ok. Let’s stop pestering Bronya .” Theresa stops them. Fu Hua and Bronya just smirk at that, making Theresa sigh in annoyance. “Aish, you two…”
While they are bickering, Mei spots something in the distance. Something big.
Something that brings Mei anger, fear, and hatred.
Her breath hitches at that. Since when did she feel those things?
Mei slowly taps Theresa’s shoulder. Theresa looks over her with a curious look. “What is it?”
Mei points at the distance. They all turn to see what she is pointing at.
“What the heck is a Honkai beast doing in St. Freya?” Theresa says, letting go of Mei’s hand, and summoning her weapon. Fu Hua and Bronya take their stances, and Mei grasps the hilt of her sword tightly. “We have to kill it.”
“Of course.” Fu Hua responds promptly, waiting for Theresa’s command to strike. Bronya tsks.
As soon as Theresa gives the order, they sprint towards the beast.
Mei unsheathes her sword, feeling it pulse with energy. She can’t do anything about it though, so she attacks blindly.
Somehow they defeat the beast, somehow Mei knows how to handle a sword.
So Mei sheathes her sword again, taking note of that.
Apparently, she knows how to wield a sword.
This school is named St. Freya.
Fu Hua, Bronya, Kiana, and herself are Himeko’s students.
Theresa is the principal.
Everything about that is so familiar to her, she just has to remember.
It’s time to wake up, to remember the truth, to face the consequences of your actions.
…Her head hurts.
“ Mei? ” Theresa asks, a bit concerned as Mei rubs her forehead, closing her eyes. “Are you ok?”
No. The sword is begging her to remember. It is begging her to wake up.
That Honkai beast, as Theresa calls it, was intentional, wasn’t it? It was there on purpose.
It’s the sword’s doing.
But she can’t. She can’t remember.
She doesn’t want to.
Perhaps, a trip to reality will wake you up.
She nods slowly at Theresa , who grasps her hand again while they walk. Mei feels a little bit thankful for the action.
“Aish, you four!” Himeko sprints out of the bushes. Kiana sheepishly follows. “You defeated that way too easily!”
“It was your doing?” Bronya asks, raising a brow. Himeko frantically shakes her head. “Then why were you hiding?”
“To watch.” Kiana says quietly. Mei lets go of Theresa’s hand, and grabs Kiana again to herself. Kiana laughs. “ Mei-senpai , I told you I’m not going anywhere.”
But Mei doesn’t say a word, just pulls her closer to her. Kiana sighs.
“I think it’s time to wake up, Mei-senpai.” She says quietly as she leads her away from the others, back towards the door. “We’ll meet again tomorrow, ok?”
Mei blinks, and slowly nods. Kiana smiles, and opens the door to the white space.
Mei is alone again.
Wake up. You can’t ignore reality.
Her head hurts again, she grasps her head, and cries out in pain.
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up-
In delirium, she unsheathes the sword.
Wake up. Kiana’s waiting for you.
Wrong. She’s not there anymore.
Wake up, don’t give yourself false hope.
Mei stabs herself with the sword.
With a gasp, she wakes up.
(“Mei!” Fu Hua barges into her room when she hears Mei cry out. “Are you ok?”
Mei pants, her shirt wet with sweat. Fu Hua looks at her quietly, walking to her closet, and opening it, taking out another white shirt.
“I’m not.” Mei stoically says, but tears are streaming down her face. Why is she crying? She doesn’t feel sad. “Why can’t I remember?”
Fu Hua wipes her tears away with her blanket, sighing. “Remember what?” She asks quietly. She helps Mei out of her wet shirt, and helps her put on the new one. She runs her fingers through Mei’s hair. She had cut it short right after they permanently eradicated the Honkai. Fu Hua didn’t question Mei’s decisions. She knows she is going through a rough time, even when the fighting is over.
Mei buries her head on Fu Hua’s shoulder. “I…don’t know. Someone was begging me to remember.”
Someone she loves so dearly that she is prepared to take the fall for her.
Fu Hua stays quiet, just holding Mei in her embrace until her breathing calms down.
“Why can’t I remember?”
Fu Hua pulls away slightly, and smiles sadly at her. She does understand, she really does. “I don’t know.”
You know but you don’t want to remember.
You have to want it.
“Do you really want to remember?” Fu Hua asks her. Mei doesn’t answer.
… Yes, but not yet.
The voice in her head is clear as day now.)
“Welcome to White Space. You have been living here for as long as you remember.”
Mei wakes up again in the White Space. She breathes out a quiet sigh, and gets up, the sword already attached to her belt.
But strangely, it feels…different. The sword is not desperate anymore. Just simply waiting.
Mei stares at it for a little while, before walking to the desk, and grabbing the photo album. She opens it, and sees some pictures there.
A picture of the campus. Everything is decorated as if in celebration.
A picture of her, Kiana, Bronya, Fu Hua, Himeko, and Theresa. They all seemed to be very happy.
A picture of just her and Kiana. Kiana is right beside Mei as she cooks, smiling.
A picture of a sword and a pistol.
Mei blinks, and closes the photo album. She’d get to what they mean later.
For now, she opens the door to the other room.
This time, Fu Hua and Bronya aren’t there waiting for her. Then again, the only reason they were waiting for her is that Mei was gone for a couple of days. They got worried.
So Mei continues on, opening the other door, and stepping foot into the campus.
Except it is in disarray, Honkai beasts everywhere. She blinks, and unsheathes her sword, slowly walking towards the horde of beasts. She takes a deep breath, and swings her sword once.
Slash!
The horde disintegrates just because of that one attack. Thunder and lightning flash near her, but for some reason, she isn’t scared.
Her eyes glow purple.
She walks towards the training ground wherein Kiana is there, anxiously shooting the remainder of the horde of beasts.
A pistol.
She looks down to her sword.
A sword.
She blinks.
Kiana and I?
Kiana and Mei.
“MEI-SENPAI! ” Kiana cries out, sprinting towards her. Mei puts her sword into its sheath again, catching the crying Kiana, and hugging her tightly. “I thought you were gone!”
Mei slowly shakes her head, and buries her face into Kiana’s tuft of hair. Kiana is speaking about Fu Hua, Theresa, and Bronya’s whereabouts.
She doesn’t mention Himeko once.
So Mei pulls away, and gives her a look of curiosity. Kiana, knowing what she is asking, sighs, and looks down.
Something is wrong. Horribly wrong.
Sensei…
“A final lesson taught by her. Be brave, push on. You can still end the story the way you want.”
Mei stumbles back at the words, her head pounding. Thunder and lightning flash, but both of them do not flinch. Kiana simply smiles sadly.
“You have to remember, Mei . ” She puts one of her pistols into Mei’s hand. “You have to face it.”
She takes Mei’s other hand and leads her to another door.
“Remember. Please.” Kiana turns to her, and brushes a stray strand of hair from Mei’s face. “For my sake, and for yours.”
So Mei takes a deep breath, and nods. Kiana smiles sadly again, before opening the door and ushering her towards it.
Mei takes a step inside.
She wakes up.
(A photo album, a pistol, and a sword rest on Mei’s desk when she wakes up.
She looks at it in panic, scrambling off the bed, and frantically opening the photo album.
The pictures are there. Her eyes widen in panic.
She scrambles out of her bedroom, running into Bronya.
“Mei?!” She exclaims forgoing the honorifics for now, steadying the both of them. “What is it? Do you need help?”
Mei wordlessly shows Bronya the photos. Bronya scans over them, her eyes glistening with sadness.
“Mei, this was us back in St. Freya.”
Mei blinks, and Bronya pats her shoulder. “Remember? We went out to watch some fireworks, to have fun.”
“I…” Mei sighs. “I’m sorry.”
For what? For not remembering?
Bronya simply hums. “Do you want to remember?”
“Do you want to remember?”
Mei swallows back a sob, clearing her throat.
“Yes.”
Then let’s face it. You and me.
Let us face the truth. )
“You are not in White Space.”
Mei wakes up in a dark room. She sees herself peering over her. Her eyes glow purple, but she isn’t of evil intention. Her expression is more of sadness than anger and aggression.
She is not here to fight.
“I am Mei, as you are Mei. You are in a memory.”
Mei scrambles to get up, gripping the hilt of the sword tightly. Her look alike simply tilts her head, and gestures ahead.
The scene transforms.
Nagazora . Mei’s eyes widen. It was raining that day.
“Do you finally remember?” Mei asks. “This day, you were supposed to leave for World Serpent.”
“...Huh.” Mei maniacally laughs at herself. “Fuck!” She hits her head with her fist hard. “Yeah! I remember! I don’t want to relive this!”
“Look at the two of you, fighting.” Mei says, catching her attention. “You have to. Face it. Face reality. Face the truth. ”
So Mei takes a deep breath, and watches.
(“Give up already.”
“No way! I am definitely not letting you go!”
“Even though you can hardly breathe?”
“Mei-senpai, stop this!” Kiana exclaims to her as she dodges all of Mei’s attacks. “You don’t have to go! We can figure it out!”
“Figure what out, Kiana?!” Mei asks as she growls, and tackles the girl to the ground. “I wouldn’t let your self-sacrificing agenda go on any longer!”
“And your idea is to leave me?” Kiana quietly asks, slackening into Mei’s hold. “Is that what it is?”
“...Yes.” Mei lets go of her. Kiana stays on the ground, lying on the cold and wet floor of the rooftop. Her breath quickens, and she smiles.
“Is that how it is?” She asks a final time. Mei turns back to see her crying, but smiling. “And you’re doing it for me.”
“You’ve been suffering the whole time.” Mei quietly says to her. “I don’t want you to.”
But Kiana smiles even more, summoning a subspace lance. Mei’s breath hitches, turning to her quickly, before breaking into a run towards her. “I don’t want to, either.”
“Stop it!” Mei cries. “I changed my mind, I’m not leaving anymore.” She desperately reaches out. “Just stop it. Please.” Kiana simply smiles at her, resigning to what she really wants.
To stop.
“Sorry.”
A stab to the chest, and a pool of blood.)
“You know what?” Mei lays on the cold and wet ground, not far from the scene. She sees her past self, scrambling to grasp Kiana’s cold body to herself. That lance will forever haunt her dreams, now that she remembers. “She and I weren’t that different at all.” She chuckles sadly, closing her eyes. “We both want to stop.”
“But she doesn’t want you to.” Mei says. “She wants you to live.”
“How will I?” Mei asks. “When I’m the reason why she died?”
“Because I want you to!”
The scene disappears, and Mei is back in the dark room. She doesn’t get up.
“You know,” the other girl lays beside her on the ground, “this isn’t really ideal.”
Kiana is right beside her, clothes no longer bloody. Just herself back then, back when they were happy. She smiles at Mei. “You finally remember.”
“You begged me to.” Mei answers quietly. “It’s only right I try to, no?”
But Kiana just shakes her head, holding Mei’s hand. “It's only right that you try for yourself, not me.” Kiana says. Mei tsks, clutching the girl to herself, her tears wetting Kiana’s hair. But of course, Kiana doesn’t mind. Not at all. “You faced the truth. That’s all I want.”
“But why?” Mei desperately asks her. “Why do you want me to remember? Why do you want me to face it?”
“So that you could start to move on.” Kiana says firmly. She pulls away and gives her a big smile. Mei’s breath hitches at that. How she missed that smile. “I want you to live your life. Not slowly rot away. I don’t want to watch you throw yourself into suicide missions with no regard for yourself.”
“Then what am I supposed to do? Fighting is the only thing I know.”
“Idiot.” Kiana laughs. “It isn’t!”
Mei blinks, and Kiana simply cuddles up to her again. Mei wraps her tightly in her arms. “Then what?”
“Look at Fu Hua, Bronya, and Theresa.” Kiana says, pinching Mei’s cheek. “They all want you to be happy, to live . ”
“I’m still alive.”
“That’s not what I meant.” Kiana huffs out. “Live your life. Because right now,” Kiana sighs, “you are like me. Dead.”
Dead. Mei sobs. Kiana is dead.
She has to face reality without her by her side.
And that’s hard for her.
Because how could she let go of the one girl who understood her fully? How could she let go of the girl who loved her for all she is?
How could she let go of Kiana when she loves her too? Her heart aches and grieves at the thought.
“You have to let me go.” Kiana says to her softly. She kisses Mei’s forehead as Mei sobs. “I’m gone, Mei. But that doesn’t mean I’m not always with you.”
“It’s going to be hard.” Mei sobs out to her. “It’s going to be hard to tell them.” Kiana smiles sadly.
“I know. But you could get there.”
Mei wipes her tears away, and slowly releases Kiana. They both get up.
“Be brave, push on. You can still end the story the way you want.” Kiana plants a kiss on her lips one last time. “Live, my love.”
Mei wakes up.
(“Mei.”
Mei turns to Fu Hua and Bronya, raising a brow at their shocked expressions. Fu Hua slowly gets her phone and dials Theresa’s number seemingly in a daze while Bronya approaches Mei silently.
“Are you ok?”
Mei turns back to her cooking, and continues to chop vegetables. “Yes, Bronya.” Mei says, smiling tiredly. “I’m ok.”
“You’re cooking.” Fu Hua states. “After 4 years?”
“...Yes.” Mei answers Fu Hua, putting the chopped vegetables in the pot. “Yes I am.”
“May we ask why?” Bronya asks as Fu Hua opens the door for a frantic Theresa. Theresa hurries into the kitchen, and stops in shock. Mei simply chuckles.
“Because I remember why.” Mei simply answers. They all stop breathing for a second at that.
“Remember?”
“I remember what happened that day.” Mei says, turning off the stove momentarily. She faces them with a sad smile. “It’s not pretty.”
“Tell us.” Theresa says to her. “Tell us nonetheless. We can take it.”
“You’re strong for remembering.” Fu Hua reminds her. “You’re strong for wanting to remember.”
“And brave.” Bronya adds. “Kiana will be proud of you because of that.”
Mei eyes the picture of Kiana on the shelf, remembering what the girl told her. She shakes her head. “I know.” She sighs, sitting down on a chair, taking a deep breath.
“Be brave, push on. You can still end the story the way you want.”
Mei says a silent ‘thank you’ to Kiana.
“Live, my love.”
“That day,” her hands shake, her voice cracks, but she pushes on, “I was going to leave for World Serpent.”
How relieving it is to let go.
The album, the pistol, and the sword sit in her room, untouched.)
hi im bitter about people not commenting on fics. im sad seeing all these authors get so discouraged because no one comments. it takes like 5 seconds! just do it!!
dont know what to type? me neither! heres some handy pre-written comments for you!
“I dont know what to comment! That was great! thank you for your hard work!”
“That was lovely! I really enjoyed this chapter/fic.”
“How dare you?”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAA”
“Extra kudos because one is not enough!”
if you read a fic and dont know what to say, leave the tab open, come back later! see if theres a line you really liked! tell them if it reminded you of something dumb! tell them if your roommate saw you crying while reading it and now your roommate is reading it!!! SHARE WHATEVER. BE INCLUSIVE!
everyone wants to hear SOMETHING. silence kills passion. show authors you care!
show artists you care!!!!
If you work in a movie theater and you do this I have no respect for you.
My younger brother is Type 1 Diabetic.
When we go to a movie theater, we always get him diet soda. If he were to get regular when we asked for diet, we would not give him the insulin he would need for it. If that happens, his blood sugar level could go so high he could go into a coma, go blind, or even die.
If somebody gave him regular soda instead of diet without telling us, that person could be responsible for a nine-year-old being killed or blinded.
Just thinking about that makes me so angry. I get scared every time we take him to a movie in case the people working there saw this picture and decide to do the same thing.
Fun story about the baristas doing this kind of shit.
I am very sensitive to lactose, not Lactose intolerant but because of stomach ulcers that are still healing. A couple years ago I went to Starbucks right after my classes with some friends and asked for a green tea latte with soy milk. The barista, for some reason out of malice and/or hate for her life so she took it out on me, gave me whole milk in my latte.
5 minutes after my first sip of latte, my stomach cramped BAD. Not the “Oh! time to poop!” kind of cramp but it felt like someone had stabbed me with a knife and twisted it. Now I’ve had this happen before so I knew the cause of it. I went up to the barista clutching my gut screaming at her that she put dairy in my latte rather than soy LIKE I REQUESTED. She denied it and called me a “pretentious white girl for wanting soy”and so my friends got the manager. I had to explain that I had stomach ulcers that were still healing and if I were to go to the hospital for this incident, they would be responsible for it.
Manager flipped his shit and the barista was terrified out of her mind. Pretty sure both thought i was gonna sue. Manager actually fired her on the spot because of the negligence. My friends managed to get me home in one piece while I stayed home for 3 days in absolute agony and missed my midterm.
So remember kiddies, if someone is asking for Diet or “Skinny” or “soy” or anything that is not regular, give them what they requested because it may not be them being healthy, but a dietary need that can possibly be life or death
I have Celiac Disease, so I’m very gluten intolerant. When I go out to eat at restaurants a lot of people just assume that I asked for my food gluten free because of the gluten free diet fad (which is usually a bullshit diet btw).
Last month I went out to dinner with a friend at an italian restaurant that had a small gluten free menu. I had been there once before and had their gluten free pasta and it was great! I think one of the managers had been there and was super helpful when taking my order to make sure that everything was gluten free for me. When I ordered the gluten free pasta again this time though, the waitress who took my order all but rolled her eyes at me. I didn’t think much of it at the time, because the restaurant was so accommodating before, I just assumed it would be the same this time.
But sure enough, they brought out my pasta, I ate it, and about an hour later I had extreme stomach pains and was throwing up (in a movie theater no less).
Barfing and agonizing pain aside, eating gluten when you have celiac causes a lot of internal damage that’s hard to notice. The biggest thing is that it damages your intestines, preventing your body from absorbing nutrients properly, which can take months to heal.
So PLEASE, if you work at a restaurant or anything with food and someone asks for something a certain way, please listen to them and don’t just disregard someone’s order. It’s not funny and it can have serious consequences.
I will reblog this with every single story about someone getting sick because of an asshole giving them the opposite of what they ordered until it sinks in for everyone.
Recently on the news a 16 year old boy with a dairy allergy had gone to eat at IHOP with his family. The specifically asked if they could make dairy free pancakes and they said yes. Not too long after he had a reaction and was rushed to the hospital. This kid died because the was dairy in his pancakes that they asked for no dairy. His epi pen that his mother had wasn’t enough to help him. I know working in fast food or any job that’s serves food and beverage sucks but not as much as causing someone to get sick over negligence.
My youngest cousin – who is now five, he just started kindergarten – has Celiac’s disease. You would not BELEIVE the amount of times I’ve heard my aunt say she’s ordered something gluten free, only to watch the waiter or waitress’s eyes go huge when she gives it to my cousin – my cousin with the medical id band on his tiny five year old wrist proclaiming I HAVE CELIACS and have to take it back.
Shit like this could kill my cousin. Knock it the fuck off.
I cannot tolerate caffeine–it makes me have chest pain and a racing pulse, and also gives me horrible body pain, so I always ask for decaf if I order coffee when I’m out, and doublecheck with the waiter/ress when they bring it. but instead of saying “is this decaf like I asked for?” I always say “oh, did I remember to order decaf?” I shouldn’t have to act like I’m the forgetful one (because I know damn well I asked for decaf) but it seems to work better than implying that they screwed up when I take the blame on myself like that. and if there’s any hesitation when they answer, I tell them, “if there’s any doubt, please get another one, or just give me water–if this is regular, it’ll mess up my heart” and lots of times when I say that, they look alarmed and go change it or get another one.
but I shouldn’t HAVE to share my personal medical history with strangers just to get my order right! no one should! how is it their business? it makes me really uncomfortable to have to do that. JUST GIVE PEOPLE WHAT THEY ORDER!
As a diabetic, this would make me so beyond angry. Skinny doesn’t mean they don’t have a life threatening illness. Skinny doesn’t mean they can process sugar the way you do. People that do this are the worst kinds of people. DO NOT DO THIS!
Me and my family went to a restaurant a few years back and one of the dishes we ordered was made with wine vinegar, which I am allergic to, so we asked the waiter to skip it, and he said sure, no problem, that’s fine.
So my food gets to the table, and I start eating and then my throat closes and I can’t breathe and then I start coughing and throwing up right there in the middle of the restaurant and it was very fortunate that I was with my family and they knew what was happening to me.
I had to be rushed to the hospital, and admitted, and I came damn near close to having my throat cut open so I could breathe through a whole on my neck.
Because they put wine vinegar in my food when I explicitly told them not to, because they were assholes, and I could have died.
They probably didn’t mean to hurt me but they did. I missed class, and work, and, again, I COULD HAVE DIED.
i have cyclic vomiting syndrome and can’t tolerate dairy or red meat. violating my dietary restrictions triggers an acute episode, and i have to be hospitalized and given iv saline, ativan, and anti-emetics to stop the (extremely painful and incapacitating) vomiting. if somebody put regular milk instead of soy milk in my latte and i didn’t notice the taste immediately, i could wind up in the er and then spend several days in bed recovering, eating nothing but saltines and dry toast and clear liquids until my body was able to tolerate food again, unable to work or go out or do anything besides rest. whenever i go to starbucks, i WATCH them make my drink. cvs episodes are horrible and i hate them, and i can prevent them if i do everything right, but that means my damn barista has to cooperate. if somebody decided i was a stuck up white girl and gave me whole milk instead of soy they could put me in the hospital and cost me days of income. give ppl the food they fuckin order. it’s not that hard.
Reblogging because it’s so important. I’m “lucky” I don’t have any food allergies or intolerence, but it makes me mad when people take them not seriously, think you are picky or just following a “white girl diet fad”.
90% of people don’t take my cats and dog allergies seriously when I tell them I’m allergic and wondering if a cat or a dog is present at X place. They think it’s just watery eyes. Nope. Well yeah, watery and itchy eyes, but I start wo wheeze and have trouble breathing. They don’t give epi-pen for those (anyway you have to go to the hospital after) just inhaler. It’s no miracle, specially if I didn’t take other meds before.
When people tell you about their allergies or restriction, trust them!
Reblogging for all the stories here because this is sooo important!
I have a severe allergy to gluten and relate to MANY of the stories above. My daughter has a severe allergy to milk fat, and I have had to hold her hair many times while she vomits on the side of the road because we couldn’t even make it home from the “accidental” whole milk instead of skim.
I’m super lactose intolerant so accidental milk is always fun. Severe diarrhea, stomach cramps, bloating, and gas like you wouldn’t believe. Better than death you might say but, I have other medical conditions, so that diarrhea could lead to vomiting(it’s so bad the vomit comes out my mouth AND nose) and dehydration that in turn becomes low cortisol and adrenal crisis. A bitchy barista can land me in the hospital with an intramuscular shot and saline iv. Hun, it takes no time to listen and follow my order. It takes me at least 24 hours to get out of the hospital. Be nice.
I’m allergic to pork. Legit allergic. I can’t count how many times I’ve had to ask it off my food only to receive it with bacon or ham or something on it.
Please respect peoples food requests. It costs 0.00$ to not be a dick.
I actually have customers who say they’ll only eat at my restaurant when I’m there, because they know I require all policy to be followed, as in “I will kick you the fuck off your shift if you skimp,” if someone says the words “I have an allergy.” I developed our allergy policies, for that matter, because what we had in place before was “I guess you shouldn’t change your gloves … . ?” On my shifts your gloves get changed, that line gets wiped down with a new cloth, paper under EVERY ITEM for the person with the allergy, bag their food separately to prevent contact. If there’s a risk of cross-contamination with an allergen, like tomatoes in the guac because stuff spills when you’re moving as fast as we do, I’ll open a new bag of food. I learned the ingredients in every item we serve so I could advise people on hidden allergens (e.g., there’s a small amount of wheat in our beef as a thickener; we fry with safflower oil). We have a grease pencil to mark special builds and I use it liberally on allergy orders. If all of this sounds like overkill, you’ve never watched a child suffer from anaphylaxis. I don’t play around.
Like, I bitch about my job a lot, but food allergies and special needs are not something I will ever bitch about. Even if you’re a complete asshole I won’t risk contaminating your food. (Although people with allergies seem to be way nicer than the general population, I gotta say.) Don’t do it. If someone’s a petty asshole to you, give them too much ice in their drink. Don’t play with their health.
Reblogging this again because it is important. Doing the right thing has no cost but doing the wrong thing can cost a person’s life. Don’t be a dick, give the person what they ordered
luckily i haven’t had many problems with this but if someone gives me an “accidentally” non-decaf drink after i’ve taken my meds I WILL OVERDOSE. don’t fuck with ppl’s orders.
i have severe allergies to gluten and dairy and large amounts of sugar make me really sick, and i cant imagine what would happen if someone did this to me. dont scroll past this.
My partner is extremely gluten intolerant, and really badly sensitive to it. He’s very chill about the whole thing, but every time we go out to eat, a part of me is absolutely terrified - it wouldn’t kill him, but I can’t bear to see him in the pain that he goes through when he accidentally has gluten
Many in my family have severe gluten allergies and lactose intolerance. If there’s a lazy food handler, that could severely hurt them. Please don’t be lazy with food. It can kill and incapacitate people.
One more thing. Even if they don’t have an allergy or a restriction, doesn’t mean you can just do whatever you want to. Some people like soy milk over whole and some people just really don’t like shrimp. IF THEY ASK FOR SOMETHING, GIVE IT TO THEM. DONT BE AN ASSHOLE!!
I don’t have food allergies except for my lactose intolerance, but I am allergic to sunscreen and I’m autistic, giving me textural issues. On both of those I have story.
When I was 12, I went on a trip with my school. They gave our parents a document to list our allergies, and for some reason they didn’t want to list mine. They said it wasn’t severe enough and that I just shouldn’t apply sunscreen. During the trip, the teachers noticed I never applied any sunscreen so they told me to put some on. I said that I was allergic and they said that it wasn’t on the form, so I was making it up. They forced me to put on the sunscreen. The next day is was redder than a lobster and had bumps over my entire body. The teachers said to apply more sunscreen because they thought I had a sunburn. I told them it was an allergic reaction and they finally stopped pestering me.
Tw: self harm mention
About the autism, I have very bad food issues. Both textural and taste-wise. If I eat something I can’t stand (think tomatoes, any kind of fat, most vegetables etc) I will go into a sensory overload and it will mess up my day, if it doesn’t trigger me into relapsing in self harm, which will fuck me up on a way longer term. When I order my food without tomatoes, it’s to keep me from seriously hurting myself because of a meltdown. And I probably won’t eat my food if something gross touched it, because I just physically can’t
I ordered some popcorn a few years ago and not one of the venders thought it was worth mentioning that they fried the shit in fucking peanut oil. my face, lips, and tongue went numb and my throat closed up. luckily I didn’t have to be hospitalized because I stopped eating as soon as I realized.
another time (this was like a year ago) I ordered a caramel milkshake from DQ, and as I was drinking it, a weird squishy thing got sucked up into my straw. I spit it out and realized it was a strawberry. I’m allergic. not deathly, but it does make the skin of my mouth become irritated, sore, and fall apart.
i also always ask for my food without pepper on it because I have a pepper allergy that makes my throat close up. this request gets ignored all the time because they think I just can’t “handle my spices.”
I am deathly allergic to tree nuts and shellfish. I can’t count how many times someone has given me food with either of those in it because they thought I was just a picky eater. (I was, which is why they thought that would be a valid reason.) just respect people’s food choices ffs.
Word count: 2,450
Pairing: Kiana Kaslana/Raiden Mei
Characters: Kiana Kaslana, Raiden Mei, Fu Hua, Bronya Zaychik, Murata Himeko, Theresa Apocalypse, Frederica Nikola Tesla, Siegfried Kaslana
Summary:
Everything is fuzzy but you push on.
It's ok, it's fine. Eventually, everything will be clear.
Even when the world is almost silent, but loud.
There is hope in the end.
A/N: I tried my best to be as accurate as possible in terms of the difference of "hard of hearing" and "deaf."
I hope this work is ok.
***
There is something wrong with the child.
Siegfried sits right at their table, next to a lantern that gives him light. The child, right in front of him, is not his daughter. Or, at least, it is a clone of her daughter.
That child over there is a herrscher.
But she doesn’t know. In fact, she acts exactly like his daughter, precisely like the original Kiana.
But there is something wrong, and Siegfried couldn’t put his finger on it.
“Hey.” He says. The child doesn’t look at him and just continues humming to herself. Either she is ignoring him, or there is something else.
“Hey!” He shouts again. This time, the child turns to him and tilts her head to the right, beaming at him.
“Hm?” She hums. She fidgets with her fingers. “I’m sorry, did you say something?” She frowns. “I’m sorry, it’s so fuzzy.”
Siegfried blinks, and freezes at that.
The child is hard of hearing.
Oh fuck.
It makes sense! She wouldn’t budge until he shouts it out or speaks very loud. Her words are sometimes slurred but still decipherable, and she always turns to her right, which is probably where she can hear the most.
But she doesn’t realize it, no, Siegfried thinks she doesn’t know at all. If she knew, then she would have approached him about it a long time ago.
Siegfried curses to himself, smacking his head on the table. It is painfully apparent, and he didn’t see the signs. And yet, he faces another dilemma.
Where the fuck would I get a doctor when we’re literally in hiding?
And how the fuck would I get her hearing aids?
He stands up and approaches her, crouching to her level.
“Hey, kid.” He speaks loudly so that she can hear him. When the child nods, he continues. “You can’t hear that well, huh?”
“It’s fuzzy here.” The child points at her left ear. “I can hear you a bit here,” then she points at her right ear, “but it’s still a bit hard.”
He nods and mumbles to himself as the kid looks at him in wonder. Well fuck. He thinks. If I can’t get her hearing aids, then what? I will run my throat hoarse shouting at her, and that’s not ideal for the both of us.
He sighs, scratching the back of his neck. “Kid, I will help.” He settles with that. He will try his best. “I’ll teach you what you need to know. I’ll help.”
And when the child perks up, he doesn’t show it, but he smiles internally.
They learn how to sign together and communicate with each other effectively. He teaches her how to say words correctly, how to talk effectively. Siegfried keeps his promise to her.
Even though he couldn’t acquire a hearing aid for her, he feels guilty, but the child doesn’t mind. In fact, he sees that she is doing very well without it.
There are still days when the child will have more of a hard time hearing him, to the point that he has to exert more effort into communicating with her.
But she is also trying hard, and that deserves recognition.
So, Siegfried tells the child her name in sign language.
Because he wants her to understand fully, he wants her to know.
And when she beams at him and signs him “thank you,” he smiles.
He knows that she could get by.
(By the time Kiana arrives in St. Freya, she is already used to life without hearing aids.
She could get by, she figures. Although, people still wonder why she tilts her head to the right or gets no response from her.
But Kiana doesn’t show it to them, not that she is hiding it. She is just waiting for them to realize.
But that doesn’t stop those hard days where she finds it even more challenging to get by. She knows that most of the people in St. Freya don't know how to sign, so she keeps it to herself as a secret, maintaining her loud and cheerful personality.
And today is one of those hard days.
“Kiana!” Kiana tilts her head to the right and turns to her teacher, who is in front of her, arms crossed, seemingly agitated. “I’ve been calling you for 5 minutes, and you aren’t responding!” But Himeko’s expression softens when Kiana bows her head, seemingly as an apology. “Are you alright? Wanna talk?”
Kiana looks up at that, looks around the classroom, and sees that it is empty besides them. She sighs.
“I can’t hear that well. Sorry about that Himeko-sensei.” She signs. Himeko’s eyes widen at that. “Today, more so.” Himeko shakes her head fondly, and she grabs a chair and sits in front of Kiana. She gives her a gentle and understanding smile.
“Why didn’t you say so?” She signs back. Kiana’s eyes widen in surprise, and she smiles. Her teacher understands her. Someone could understand her. “I’m sorry. I could have helped you.” Himeko fixes her a look of slight disapproval, and Kiana chuckles nervously at that. “Tell me when you are having a hard time, okay? The others are there too.”
Kiana figures that her teacher isn’t only pertaining to her hearing, and she is grateful for that. She nods, and signs a “thank you,” which her teacher only smiles at.
“No need to thank me, sweetheart.”
And when her birthday arrives just a few days after, Himeko takes her out discreetly and gets her hearing aids.
Kiana attempts to refuse it, signing to her furiously about the cost. Hearing aids are expensive, she knows. They both know that.
But Himeko fixes her with a fond look on her face. “I only want to help all my students. You are one of them.”
Kiana stops signing at that. Himeko continues. “And if one of my students is having a difficult time and I haven’t helped them in any way, then what kind of teacher am I, no?” Kiana crosses her arms and bites her lip. Himeko hums as they walk through the streets. “Besides, I want to give you something special.”
Kiana sighs. “I couldn’t thank you enough.”
Himeko pats her head fondly, and for once, Kiana doesn’t protest at it. “You don’t need to thank me.”
No one notices the hearing aids.)
They get destroyed during her Hersscher transformation.
It makes Kiana feel incredibly guilty and sad. That was a gift from her teacher, her teacher who is now dead by her hand.
Or not, she supposes. It is not my fault. Mei kept on repeating that to her.
But it doesn’t mean that she has to believe it. At all.
But Kiana remembers what Himeko said to her and what she kept on telling her.
“Tell me when you are having a hard time, okay? The others are there too.”
So Kiana signs sheepishly to Mei, who stares at her in shock. She recoils at her reaction.
“I’m sorry. Very sorry . ”
“Kiana.” Mei signs and Kiana’s burdened heart lightens a bit at that. “Kiana, you could have told me.” Mei sobs a bit, and Kiana can’t help but be emotional too. “I understand. We all do.”
“I’m sorry, I should have. You’re right.” Kiana smiles tiredly. “But I never really told anyone. I was getting by just fine back then.”
But that was back then. Kiana finds it even more difficult to hear now, especially with the fact that she is also struggling to control her herrscher powers. She finds herself prioritizing that before her hearing.
But Mei shakes her head quickly. “We can get you new ones. I will help you.” Her expression softens, turning into one of love. “So tell me, okay?”
“Okay.” Kiana signs. They both smile at each other, and Kiana leans into Mei’s embrace.
Yeah, they would be fine.
So Kiana just settles with signing to Mei and only Mei. Not because she doesn’t want the others to know. It’s just that it is very personal to her.
And Mei understands so she goes with it. She talks to her normally when they are with the others and signs with her when only the both of them.
The only ones with whom Kiana could sign with were her dad and her teacher.
So she is grateful that Mei is very understanding and that Mei is very willing to help her. She is grateful that she has another person who understands her fully.
“I love you.” Mei signs to her one day. Kiana blinks and smiles.
“Repeat that?” Mei laughs, and Kiana just chuckles, tilting her head to the right so that she can hear Mei more. Granted that she has hearing aids (ones Mei manages to get from Tesla without her saying for who), she just wants to hear Mei’s precious laugh.
“I love you.” Mei signs again. “Is that bad?”
“No.” Kiana shakes her head and beams at her. Mei returns her smile, her face red. “Quite the opposite. I am happy you love me, Mei-senpai!”
“I can see that.” Mei chuckles as she watches Kiana bounce on her seat. “I love you.”
“I love you too!” Kiana excitedly signs to her. Mei laughs again and presses her forehead on Kiana’s.
“Remember that,” Mei speaks out loud. Kiana hears it clearly.
“I will, for as long as I live.”
(When Mei leaves her for World Serpent, Kiana feels conflicted.
Not once will she doubt Mei. Not once. But her departure has left some emotional scars on Kiana, and that will take time to heal.
So when Fu Hua crouches to her level and signs at her, expression one of understanding and melancholy, Kiana just sobs.
“I knew, but I didn’t want you to feel pressured.” Fu Hua signs to her. Kiana tiredly signs at her.
“Hua.”
Fu Hua’s breath hitches. “Yeah, Kiana?”
“Will we get through this?” Kiana slumps against the wall. Fu Hua sits beside her, frowning. “I don’t know anymore.”
“What do you think?” Fu Hua says to her out loud. “What do you think about it?”
Hopeless. A hopeless situation. Kiana thinks to herself. But she isn’t going to say that out loud.
So she doesn’t tell the whole truth. “I don’t know.”
Fu Hua stares at her, seemingly seeing through that statement. Kiana fidgets with her hands nervously at that, wiping away her remaining tears.
“Well, I think we will.”
Kiana must have had a look of doubt on her face, which is why Fu Hua flicks her forehead, making her groan.
“Believe in yourself more, would you?” She says as Kiana rubs her forehead, glaring at her slightly. “We believe in you. Why don’t you believe in yourself?”
“I might let you down.”
“You won’t.”
“I might fail.”
“You won’t.”
“I might hold you all back.”
“You aren’t.”
Kiana sighs at Fu Hua’s stubborn attitude but knows it comes from good intentions. So insistent. Kiana gives her a small smile, which Fu Hua returns. Her eyes glisten with hope. But she is correct.
“Also, Kiana?” Kiana raises a brow at Fu Hua, who just shakes her head. “Believe that she will return to us.”
Kiana takes a few moments before replying. “It’s hard to.”
“But she will.” Fu Hua signs to her, determined. “She never left you in the first place.”
Then she leaves Kiana in her room, thinking about what she said.)
And when they reunite again before the last fight against the Honkai, the first thing Mei does is sign to her.
In front of everybody.
“I love you.” Mei bites her lip as Kiana just smiles encouragingly. “And I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry, Mei-senpai.” Kiana signs back to her, beaming. “The important thing is that you’re back.”
The others stare at them, others in shock, others in wonderment, others in fondness. Theresa shakes her head, mumbling to herself about not noticing sooner and how everything suddenly made sense, at the same time, Bronya and Fu Hua are just happy to watch the much-awaited reunion from the sidelines.
Tesla, however, has some words to say.
“OI, IS THIS WHY YOU GOT THAT HEARING AID FROM ME?!”
As Tesla continues pestering Mei about the supposed hearing aids, Kiana laughs out loud. “You could have told me, and I would have understood!” Tesla protests as Mei just smiles sheepishly at her. Kiana signs “I’m sorry” to her, which Mei translates for Tesla.
“Don’t say sorry about that. I’m just surprised!” Tesla says, shaking Kiana. Kiana just smiles. “Now, you better come to me later. I’m making you better ones. And you don’t have a say on that, missy!” Tesla points at Kiana accusingly, who just backs off sheepishly. “I will make them, and you can’t stop me!”
“Yes, Ma’am.” Kiana salutes her mockingly.
“You’re alright with that, though?” Mei looks at her, curiously. “We can just stick with your old ones if you’re more comfortable with that.”
“More than alright.” Kiana beams at her. “Don’t worry about me.”
“I can’t help it.” Mei shakes her head at her girlfriend. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“I can’t understand a word they’re signing.”
“Study sign language,” Theresa says, as she deadpans at Tesla, who just smacks the principal’s head in retaliation. “I only know the basics, but I understand the gist of what they are saying.”
“Translate then!” Theresa just sticks her tongue out at Tesla, who smacks her head again. Bronya turns to look at them and deadpans at the two adults acting like a bunch of kids.
“Idiots.” Bronya signs to Kiana, pointing at Tesla and Theresa. Kiana just laughs out loud. “They’re acting like kids, while you two are acting like lovesick idiots.”
“Bronya!” Mei tsks, and Bronya just crosses her arms like a petulant child. “We are not lovesick idiots!”
“They’re acting like kids, but Fu Hua is 50,000 years old.”
“Don’t even pull that card, Kiana.”
Kiana snickers.
“If I am a 50,000-year-old who acts like a kid,” Fu Hua rolls her eyes, “you two are lovebirds then.” Fu Hua changes the subject. Kiana and Mei turn red, and all of them laugh at each other’s predicament.
“Tell me when you are having a hard time, okay? The others are there too.”
You are right, sensei. Kiana beams. They are here for me too, just like how you never left me alone.
They can win this fight. They will make it.
They can live a happy life together.
“Thank you.” Kiana signs. The others just nod and smile, understanding. Mei pulls Kiana closer to her, silent but comforting.
“We all love you, Kiana.”
Yeah, we’ll get through this.
(Kiana and Mei sign their vows to each other in the future.)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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NSFW will be tagged as #lemon
sorta NSFW is #Lime
Weird fet shit/ extreme NSFW is #orange
reblog to spread awareness that we’re back on the citrus scale
reblog and make a wish!
this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)
holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS.
WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????
ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE
THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.
SO I WISHED FOR AN IMAC THE LAST TIME I DID THIS AND A WEEK LATER MY MOM SURPRISED ME WITH AN IMAC. HONESTLY SHE DIDNT EVEN KNOW I WANTED ONE, I DIDNT TELL ANYONE, IT WAS AN EARLY XMAS PRESENT. Wow this works
reblog and make a wish!
this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)
holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS.
WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????
ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE
THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.
SO I WISHED FOR AN IMAC THE LAST TIME I DID THIS AND A WEEK LATER MY MOM SURPRISED ME WITH AN IMAC. HONESTLY SHE DIDNT EVEN KNOW I WANTED ONE, I DIDNT TELL ANYONE, IT WAS AN EARLY XMAS PRESENT. Wow this works
Reminder this upcoming holiday season to not give any money to the Salvation Army, but don’t harass the collectors because they’re often people who are desperate, receiving help from SA, and their next meal/place to sleep depends on them ringing the damn bells and asking for donations.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Word count: 1,581
Pairing: Kiana Kaslana/Raiden Mei
Characters: Kiana Kaslana, Raiden Mei, Fu Hua, Bronya, Theresa Apocalypse
Summary: Raiden Mei has no experience with song writing.
A/N: This is technically a second part of my previous fic: Tunes (of hope). But, it can be read as a standalone fic.
If you want to read the previous fic for a little bit of context, here is the link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35525422
***
Raiden Mei has no experience with song writing.
Sure, she knows how to play some instruments. Give her a piano or a guitar, and she’ll play you a song or two.
But Kiana...she plays with emotion. The guitar is literally a channel of everything she is thinking about. She has the ability of moving them to tears or making them laugh in joy just with her music.
Kiana’s really different. Mei remembers the time when they all sang her songs after everything had been resolved; when the world was finally at peace. She remembers Kiana’s joy, how her eyes twinkled with happiness as she strums the guitar.
That notebook contains every bit of Kiana’s thoughts, dreams, and aspirations.
Which brings her to now.
Her fingers hover over the keyboard keys, as she growls in frustration. How does Kiana do this? She gets her pen, and modifies a few notes on the sheet music put in front of her. This is harder than it looks.
Composing a song for her girlfriend is surprisingly not easy. Maybe because she still feels self-conscious of her writing. Will Kiana like this? Will she even appreciate it?
Mei scoffs. What a stupid question. Of course Kiana will appreciate it. It’s Kiana she’s talking about! The girl practically loves Mei to the core, and would love whatever she does for her.
“Writer’s block plaguing you?”
Mei turns to the doorway, and sees Fu Hua there with a notebook in hand. Ah. Mei blinks. Looks like we’re on the same boat.
“Yes, unfortunately.” She answers her, sighing. She fidgets with her pen, huffing. “I’m stuck.”
Fu Hua walks over to Mei, and peers at her sheet music deep in thought. “Have you thought of asking Bronya?”
Mei splutters. “Bronya? Is she writing too?” Looks like we all have the same idea. Mei blinks. Fu Hua hums in thought.
“She is also having trouble like us right now.”
“Oh really?” Mei plays with a keyboard key, tapping it repeatedly. Fu Hua grips her wrist when the sound becomes too annoying and repetitive. Mei sighs. “Her birthday is in a few days.”
“I know.”
“We all want to write a song for her.”
“I know.”
“And yet we’re all stuck.”
Fu Hua chuckles a bit. “Yes. We are all stuck.” She pats Mei’s shoulder in reassurance. “But surely we can think of something if we work together?”
Mei blinks, and hums in thought. “...should we get Bronya then?”
Might as well have three minds rather than one.
“No need.” Fu Hua gestures towards the doorway. Mei peeks, and sees Bronya standing there, scratching the back of her neck, and gripping a notebook in her other hand. Mei chuckles, and beckons Bronya to get closer to her which she does.
“...The Bronya might be stuck.” Bronya says, seemingly sheepish. Fu Hua shakes her head, a small smile on her lips.
“We all are.” She states. She opens her notebook, and turns to a specific page filled with notes and scribbles. Bronya does the same. “I thought this would be easy.”
“You mean we thought it would be easy.” Mei points out. “I think we are all stuck because of the same thing.”
How can this song convey their message for Kiana?
(Later that night, Mei, Bronya, and Fu Hua stay up writing and talking in whispers.
“I have an idea.” Mei pipes in. The other two look up to her, and gesture for her to continue. “Let’s not make it just a birthday song. That’s too shallow of a message.”
“It is.” They all agree. Their song is filled with happiness and joy, but what about life? There needs to be something else in there, some kind of insight or recollection.
Kiana’s songs vary. Some clearly convey sadness and melancholy, but Kiana never fails to put something contradicting in there.
Some may be about happiness and joy, but there is always a tinge of humility.
Some may be about sadness, but there is always a tinge of hope .
A reminder to be cautious even when happy. To always be humble even when proud.
A reminder to be hopeful even when surrounded by sadness and guilt.
“Then what do you propose?” Fu Hua asks, fiddling with her pen. Bronya tilts her head in thought.
“Encouragement? Love?” She suggests. Mei’s heart skips.
Love. That’s the key. Fu Hua seems to also get the idea, as her eyes sparkle with mirth.
“Yes, Bronya.” Mei chuckles wetly. “Love.”
Because damn, does Kiana need a reminder that she is loved . )
“And what do we have here?”
Theresa stands in the doorway, hands on her hips, as she looks at the trio in curiosity. Mei scratches the back of her neck, as Fu Hua laughs nervously. Bronya nods.
“Good morning, Principal.”
“You’re always too formal.” Theresa mumbles, but shakes her head quickly. “What are you three up to? Hopefully not to cause any trouble? Though, I doubt that.”
Mei laughs. “No, definitely not. We’re just writing something.”
It’s at that moment that Theresa notices the notebooks both Fu Hua and Bronya carry. She peers at Mei, and sees sheet music in her hands. Theresa tilts her head in confusion.
“Since when did you start writing music?”
“Yesterday.” They all answer. Mei clears her throat. “It’s for Kiana.” She whispers only for the principal to hear. “She writes a lot of songs for us, so we hope to return the favor.” Theresa stares at them.
“Kiana. Song writing.”
“You mean, you didn’t know, Principal?” Fu Hua asks. Theresa shakes her head.
That is a surprise. Mei thinks. Kiana didn’t tell her own aunt?
“I really didn’t know.” Theresa says, pinching the bridge of her nose, feeling the impending headache she is going to have. “Not really a surprise, since Kiana didn’t really have the chance to tell me.”
Ah. Their shoulders slacken in...guilt? Sadness? They don’t know.
“Did she have the chance to be a kid? Not really.” Theresa says. “Training took up her time, and that was her decision. But it isn’t her decision to grow up quickly.”
“You aren’t to blame for that, just so you know.” Mei blurts out. Theresa’s eyes glint with confusion. “A lot just happened.”
“I know.” Theresa sighs. They all keep silent for a moment. “...Can I help you? With song writing? Or maybe even the playing.”
The three perk up at the question. “Definitely.”
Of course, their song will be more meaningful with Theresa there.
( “You’re surprisingly good with the guitar.” Fu Hua states as Theresa strums another tune. “Then again, Kiana’s instrument is the guitar. Like aunt, like niece I guess.”
“Shush.” Theresa says in a teasing tone. Mei plays the keyboard chords again, as Theresa strums in sync with her. “I learned it pretty quickly, eh?”
“Yes, Principal.” Bronya says, looking up from her lyric sheet. “That is quite fascinating.”
“Why, thank you Bronya.” Theresa smirks. Fu Hua just shakes her head, and turns her attention back to her sheet.
“I take back my compliment.”
Mei laughs when Theresa uses the guitar to hit Fu Hua lightly on the head. Fu Hua tries to stop her by swatting the guitar away, but Theresa stubbornly continues.
Ah. Mei smiles. We really are happy now, aren’t we?
It’s time to move forward.
“Alright.” Mei says, as Theresa finally relents and stops hitting Fu Hua. “Let’s have another run again.
They continue throughout the day, only stopping when everything is perfect.)
“Hey, where are you taking me?” Kiana laughs, as Mei pulls her towards the room. “You don’t need to be in such a hurry! My arm is about to fall off!”
“Good.” Mei says in a teasing tone. Kiana snickers, but lets Mei pull her inside the room. “Let us be childish just this once.”
“You mean I can’t be this everyday-ow!” Mei smacks Kiana’s head. “Hey! No hitting the birthday girl!”
“Yeah, sure.” Mei smirks. She raises a brow, when Kiana huffs.
“Shush!” Kiana whispers to her quickly, as she turns red. Mei chuckles lightly.
“Stop flirting and get over here, you two.” Theresa says, clutching the guitar to herself. Fu Hua snickers when Kiana stares at her aunt in surprise.
“Aunt Theresa?” Kiana blinks. She peers at her aunt, then at the guitar in her hands. “You know how to play the guitar?”
“Just learned how to.” Theresa says, smiling softly at her niece. Kiana looks around the room and sees a keyboard too. Fu Hua and Bronya have sheets of papers in their hands. Lyric sheets! She thinks. She looks at Mei, getting the hint quickly and smiles excitedly. “Did you guys write a song for me?”
“Of course, Kiana.” Mei says, as she goes to the keyboard. She plays a few notes, and smiles. “We made this for you.”
So they play the song. At Kiana’s request, they play it again and again. Kiana laughs in joy, cries with them as they play a song especially dedicated and made for her.
“Happy birthday, dear.” Mei whispers to her, and kisses her forehead. “We love you.”
Kiana smiles tearfully as they all sing songs of joy and life.
Thank you. Kiana laughs as Theresa tosses her a guitar. She strums the strings in sync with them. Mei plays the keyboard enthusiastically, Fu Hua and Bronya sing happily, and her Aunt Theresa strums the tune with her.
Thank you for reminding me I’m loved.
(They all sing the song they composed together everyday from then on.)
***
A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed this ^^ I wrote it in a hurry since I forgot it's already the 7th today, but I hope it is still good.
Happy Birthday, Kiana :))
Word count: 1,626
Pairing: Kiana Kaslana/Raiden Mei
Characters: Kiana Kaslana, Raiden Mei, Fu Hua, Bronya Zaychik, Seele Vollerei, Murata Himeko, Sirin, Siegfried Kaslana (Sirin and Siegfried are only mentioned)
Summary: Kiana doesn’t remember the time when she first held a guitar.
A/N: I actually originally thought to have Kiana play the piano, then I imagined a piano on the Hyperion and couldn't stop laughing.
So guitar it is! It works ^^ Hope you guys enjoy this.
***
Kiana doesn’t remember the time when she first held a guitar.
What she does remember though was it was a very worn down guitar; strings were loose, the neck on the verge of breaking, and the paint barely visible.
But she loved it. She played it religiously, even though she didn’t know the exact chords, the exact positions.
She just figured it out on her own. Impressive. She thinks, a little bit smug.
Strumming the strings, she hums a tune, filling the darkness and silence with warmth and life.
It's the only one keeping her sane in this Honkai plagued world. Music distracts her from what she was supposed to do at the moment.
Where the fuck are you, old man? Kiana shakes her head. She hums another tune, strumming the strings of the guitar softly. I need to show you my music, you know?
Until a growl caught her attention.
Oh fuck. Not now. Kiana turns to look out the window, and behind her. Zombies again.
Sighing, she dodges a zombie attempting to get to her, and hits it with the guitar.
It breaks, as Kiana expected. But you gotta do what you need to do.
Goodbye then, friend. She runs out the door, holding a part of the broken guitar. Or is it a ‘see you later?’
The rest lay there on the floor, seemingly saying goodbye too.
(In the future, Bronya will question her about the broken part of her first guitar in the corner of her room.
“What is this, Kiana? Why haven’t you thrown it yet?”
Kiana looks up from her ramen noodles, seeing Bronya holding up the last piece of her first guitar that she has. She shakes her head, giving her a smile.
Although it does seem off, I need to put up a front. Kiana laughs, snatching the piece from the younger girl. They don’t know.
“Touching others’ stuff without permission is rude, you know?” Kiana says, getting up, and putting the broken guitar piece back where it belongs. “And it is special! It has high value to me!”
“It is broken.”
“I know that!” Kiana huffs out, crossing her arms. “Does it matter?”
“If it's broken, then it's garbage.”
“It is salvageable!” Kiana protests again.She knows it isn’t. She only had one part of a whole, after all. But is it only because I couldn’t let go of it?
Maybe.
Bronya just stares at her, then turns and leaves the room. Kiana breathes out a sigh of relief.
I really need to get another one, huh?)
Kiana doesn’t really have the time to think about getting another guitar.
It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want to. She really does! Training, however, takes up her time.
Ever since she, Mei, and Bronya were brought to St. Freya, all she thought about was becoming a valkyrie.
But it doesn’t mean she forgot the comfort of music, and that she doesn’t crave it. Her hands itch to get a guitar again, to strum the strings and to hum a tune to bring life into the world again. She wants to write songs of joy, of sadness, of peace, of hope.
But she doesn’t really have the means to. And what use is a guitar right now? All she could do is write and draft her music. All she really could do was study.
Her fingers tap on the desk softly, as to not make any noise. She stares at the blackboard ahead, vaguely hearing the lesson being taught.
Her pen writes by itself, but it isn’t writing class notes.
Her notebook was filled with musical notes, and she doesn’t even notice sometimes.
In every song, there is a chorus. Something you can sing together with others.
Kiana pauses, snapping out of her thoughts. She stops writing and looks down.
What can we sing together then?
What can a guitar express?
Kiana pays no heed to the lesson being taught. All she does was write another line.
And another.
And another.
Until her notebook is filled with musical notes and her class is finished. Until Mei calls out for her.
She shakes her head furiously, closing her notebook, and placing it in her bag. She turns to Mei and Bronya, and smiles cheerfully.
“Is it lunchtime yet? I’m famished!”
“Kiana idiotka is always hungry. The Bronya wonders how she could move at all with that food she is eating.” Bronya muses peeking from behind Mei. Mei sighs, shaking her head, as Kiana starts protesting loudly.
“Are you implying that I’m a glutton?” Kiana huffs out. Mei chuckles at her antics, and calms her down.
“Now, now. Let’s go and get some lunch.”
“Anything for you, Mei-senpai!” Kiana cheers, slinging her arm around Mei’s shoulders and walking out with her and Bronya. Her mind drifts off to the notes inside her bag, but she shakes the thoughts off.
There is always time for music. I can look at it later.
Kiana ends up writing melodies up until 3 am. She sleeps on her study desk peacefully, with a finished song displayed only for the moon to see.
(Kiana stares at the wreckage below her.
How tragic. She purses her lips in thought. Himeko-sensei, I wanted to play that song with you.
As she clenches her fists and as she runs out in the rain, she thinks of the melodies she wrote.
That notebook is long gone, she is sure of it. Afterall, would it survive a calamity like this? She hadn’t even had the chance to buy a guitar yet, but she has more important stuff to take care of.
Like Sirin. But she understands. Truly.
Kiana clenches her fists again, grits her teeth, and jumps down to the action below.
Music can wait. My songs can wait.
Atonement comes first.)
Before she knows it, she is back with the others.
But not without losses. Mei is gone. She joined World Serpent. To save her. Kiana knows that. But really, she didn’t want Mei to. A part of Kiana wants her to come back. A part of her wants to get Mei and run away together, to somewhere safe and quiet.
For once, Kiana wants to stop being a hero.
But she knows, she knows she wants to save people out there. But she is still human. She needs to rest once in a while.
Not just her body, but her mind and heart as well. She is tired.
Her hands itch for a guitar again. She clenches her fists instead, quiet and restrained.
Instead, she hums a tune. Kiana doesn’t notice when Seele comes in. She stops on her tracks, listening to the tune Kiana is humming.
Melancholy and Sadness, but strangely tinged with a speck of hope.
Seele joins in the humming when Kiana beckons her to do so. They both smile as the tune turns into something lively, full of color and hope.
Not everything is lost that day.
(That day, Bronya comes to see her.
She stops at the doorway of Kiana’s room, listening to Kiana and Seele hum a tune so lively and great. She clenches the worn down notebook in her hands albeit a little bit tighter.
She knows that the melody that they are humming right now is from this notebook. Even without looking inside the contents, she just knows.
She really cares about that idiotka more than she is willing to admit. That broken guitar piece she saw in Kiana’s room back then meant so much more than she knew.
Note to self: get Kiana a gift. Bronya leaves the notebook on the desk right beside the door, before leaving quietly. These songs aren’t gonna play themselves.)
The theater of domination looms over Kiana.
But she isn’t intimidated one bit.
Instead, she hums to herself a tune of encouragement and determination.
She knows that she isn’t alone, not anymore. People are right there backing her up as she fights for hope and for humanity.
A burning passion, a burning determination floods her senses as she fights. The tune of the melodies she created flood her mind, fueling her resolve even more.
Hope isn’t lost. Not when people are counting on her.
On all of them.
She closes her eyes, and hears a faint voice humming with her.
She smiles. She really isn’t alone. Not anymore .
(In the future, when everything is over, Bronya, Mei, and Fu Hua approach her lone figure.
In their hands, her notebook and a new guitar. Kiana laughs wetly when Bronya gives the guitar to her, saying it is a gift from all of them.
They sit beside her, listening to her tune the guitar. Mei huddles closer to her, opening her notebook, and turning to a specific page.
“You really wrote a song about all of us.” Mei laughs in mirth, kissing Kiana’s forehead. Kiana shakes her head fondly, as Fu Hua and Bronya take a peek.
“It seems appropriate at that time.”
“So that’s why you’re always distracted in class.” Fu Hua states, looking at the other pieces she wrote. “I can see bits and pieces of class notes written here.”
“The Bronya thinks the songs Kiana wrote are amazing.” Kiana raises a brow at that, strumming her guitar absentmindedly. “Even though they were written during class.”
“Oi.” Kiana says half-heartedly. All of them snicker. “At least you think my songs are good.”
“Shall we then?” Fu Hua asks, as Mei puts the notebook in the middle of them so they can all see. Kiana strums the opening chords, and nods in agreement, smiling cheerfully.
“We shall.”
They all sing in harmony, laughing and filling the world with joy. Vaguely, Kiana hears a faint voice joining them.
She smiles. This song is also for her teacher, afterall.)
