Life is a rough draft, live it in Comic Sans

1. The next "day" doesn't start in my vocabulary until after I wake up. So while it's already 6am I still say things like "I'll do [task] tomorrow" when technically it'll just be later today

2. The next day starts at midnight no matter when I go to bed. So my vocabulary is the same as most everyone else's; it's 6am so I say things like "I'll do [task] later today, after I wake up"

3. It varies/Nuance

4. I don't go to bed on this type of schedule/results

(sorry mod H I know these are long! I couldn't figure out a way to say this shortly! Can the poll options please just be 1-4? Thank you!!)

However... as a fandom creator (writer and artist), I sometimes feel like too much pressure is concentrated on creators. I don't know if this is a frustration others share? Not only should we keep making things, but somehow we also end up becoming these central fandom figures who can feel pressured into responding to comments (or else we're called arrogant or ungrateful), making friends (or else we're rude for ignoring well-meaning people who reach out), and being the drivers and pillars of that community (running events, responding to memes, etc. – and everything falls silent if we stop). It's a lot of work!! I don't always have the time and energy to make things for fun and then also engage in all the ways people might sometimes feel entitled to because they enjoy my works.

I really wish that more "non-creating" fans in the community would discover their fandom power!! and not just rely on the visible "producing" creators to be the only people worth engaging with. It takes nothing more than passion to write a meta-post about a character or a plot point, or to create an ask game, or to DM someone else who you see posting funny tags – not just the creator! Maybe your followers have other tips for evening out the balance a little more?

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this, anon. This is an observation I've seen in many parts of life, not just fandom.

A lot of people feel as though they need permission or an invitation of some sort in order to contribute. That's why I always end my answers by asking people to share their thoughts. I want to make it explicitly clear that I want people to add things into the reblogs (which I can then share out for more people to see) and the replies (which people can at least read even if I can't reblog).

I have heard fans who are readers but don't write fic say that they think they can't get an AO3 account unless they plan to post something. This is incorrect, of course, but a lot of people make that assumption.

I think at least some people (I don't know what kind of percentage) assume that someone who is writing fic or posting art or making podfics and video edits etc. has some sort of expertise that "allows" them to post.

People with less confidence or with less practice etc. sometimes need an extra nudge before they realize that they're welcome to contribute too. If that's the case for you, please allow me to say:

You are welcome to post in your fandom, even if no one invites you to. Even if you think you're not good enough. Even if your idea isn't "popular."

Start a conversation. Share a thought. Talk to folks who reblog cool shit. Be a folk who reblogs cool shit. You don't have to do everything in order to do something.

make a rec list

make a "here's all the fics I've found in this fandom with this one trope/general vibe/very particular setup I just think is Neat" list

make a "welcome to the fandom, here's the fics that people will just assume you've read/know about to get you started" list

Create whumps lists

Create lists of shippy moments

Make screenshot collections

Record and post clips of your show to get more people into your fandom

Make incorrect quote memes

Make silly little TikTok-style edits of your favs

Make character playlists

Figure out the layout of buildings/cities

Recreate those building in the Sims or with an online floor planner or even just draw it out because holy hell writers will be so thankful for that

Make your blorbo in various video game character creations

Build a pokemon team for your blorbo

Make up silly headcanons! What does everyone do at the fair or the beach or during a fire drill?

Outline a fic idea you have — maybe you don’t have the time or energy or you just don’t feel confident enough to create it, but share it anyway!

Create outfits based on your blorbo’s design or outfits they would wear

Collect interviews with the author, producer, director, mangaka etc

Similarly, translate interviews

I remember someone in the haikyuu!! fandom kept a twt thread of every time two characters were in the same panel. Not sure what the tumblr equivalent would be. I guess just a regular old post with lots of additions? (Send help; i'm not sure why my brain is struggling so badly to translate twitter threads to tumblr posts)

Run a quote bot account: I'm not sure of the status of quote bots in a post twitter era, but those were quite fun. Again an example from the hq!! fandom, there was the hq!! bastille bot which would spit out a bastille lyric + a ship. The siken bot would spit out a line of poetry + a ship name. On tumblr maybe the equivalent would be a gimmick blog?

Run a ship/character week. I think these are probably the easiest kind of fandom event to run. it doesn't take more than one person, a blog, and rudimentary graphics skills.

Are socmed AUs still a thing?

Make gifs

Try to figure out the layers to a character's outfit and share your studies with the world. (I'm looking directly at you, Hoyoverse and all you're what-even-is-that how-do-they-even-put-that-on character design. beautiful, but confusing)

Update fandom wikis

Log fandom history on fanlore.org (another project run by the Organization for Transformative Works, aka the parent of ao3)

Some suggestions:

Transcribe episodes for film/audio canons

Podfic! We can always use more podfic, and most people's phones have a voice recorder.

Create bingo sheets (e.g. make a fanwork with five or more of these tropes for a bingo; read/reblog fanworks in five or more of these categories for a bingo)

Be a Your Blorbo expert consultant! If I'm writing about a character I don't have strong feelings about, but I know one of my friends is constantly reblogging and posting about them, even if it's all silly memes and "character <3"-type posting, I'll sometimes reach out to them for advice on if I'm getting Their Blorbo right. It's absolutely invaluable and I appreciate these people so much.

Run a prompt / kink meme: either for a show, a character or a ship you want to see more of (ao3 makes that supposedly quite easy though i only have experience with filling prompts, but dreamwidth is also an option)

Write prompts for prompt / kink memes (seriously, you never know what people might fill or use as an inspiration)

Answer asks pertaining to expertise / life experience you have: I've learned so much when writing for the untamed by people answering asks about character naming, how Chinese names work in general, and the themes behind certains aspects, simply by fandom people being open to answer tumblr asks or in general give more background information on certain aspects of a show.

Go old school and actually write a ship manifest (seriously, they are an amazing idea and i find it so sad they aren't as ubiquitous any more)

Make moodboards/aesthetic edits for ships/characters/shows/your fav fanfic/...

I used to be in a "brutal criticism" writing environment when I was ~18. what it did was kill my desire and ability to write, and I didn't get it back until I got into fandom and met people who approached my writing with warmth and a desire to help me learn.

a brutal criticism can feel satisfying to make or read. it is not actually better in improving a story than a gently phrased "hey the thing you did has X effect, is that what you meant to do?"

Someone they can bounce ideas off and be told - that'll be sooooo coool

Personally I need a second pair of eyes so my betas fix terrible punctuation and paragraphing

But I've also had betas that go okay you used this - how are you going to take it forward and then when you don't chewed me out for it and that was what I needed then

Knowing what you need might be hey someone wanna read this and tell me if it works; and someone good at fixing stray commas; and someone who will put this through the wronger to make it better

Sometimes it's not 1 person who can do all three, or more

PROJECT HAIL MARY by Andy Weir

I should probably have split this into two posts, but I didn't. Sorry! Anyways, enjoy! xx

PS: If you wish to use the extensive filter options on the blog, then remember to switch to desktop view (also on phone!) to see the full rec list and use the filters here. Do not read the blog on the tumblr app, you won't be able to use the filters.

the party & the after party by: vividblossom (dirtymudblood)

Summary: “I think you are silly all the time, but not for this. Do you want to?” Shane felt like he had whiplash, especially because he had found it increasingly hard to concentrate once Ilya’s hands had started roaming his hips and brushing his thumbs under the hem of Shane’s shirt. “Want to— what?” Ilya pulled him forward in one smooth motion. Their hips were flush together and Shane could feel his own erection bumping against Ilya’s. “Do you want to fuck me, Hollander?” based on the prompt: it's shane's first time topping a man. he tries not to cum as soon as he gets the tip in (it's okay if he fails)

2.8k Explicit Established Relationship · Domestic · Jealousy · Power Dynamics · Smut

at the foot of a palindrome by: labeledbones

Summary: He goes to the fridge to look for the bell peppers, and while he’s in there, he says, “It was a good first kiss. As far as I could tell. I hadn’t really kissed anyone before.” He takes an orange bell pepper from the bag his mom brought over and brings it over to the counter. “Not anyone I really wanted to kiss anyway.” He cuts the top and bottom off the pepper and then works on cutting out the seeds. “Ilya’s a good kisser,” he adds. And he can’t believe he’s just said that out loud to his mom. Shane and Ilya's dinner with Shane's parents at his house following the end of episode six.

6.9k Mature Canon Compliant · Domestic · Family POV

Who dis? by: Sweettree

Summary: Ilya is giving Cliff a ride to the club. Should be fine right until an overly horny Shane Hollander starts texting his husband. But Ilya can’t be on his phone and drive that would be dangerous. So he has his best friend Cliff Marlow answer for him. It gets steamy.

1.5k Mature · Texting · Post-Canon

What You Are In These Hotel Rooms by: JuHuaTai

Summary: Hayden would maintain to the end of his days that it was all Rozanov’s fucking fault. - After accidentally losing a ‘keepsake’ from Jackie in Shane’s bag, Hayden was determined to get it back quietly. So he did what any normal person would and sneak into his best friend’s hotel room. Unfortunately, that was also the day Ottawa (formerly Boston) Lily was visiting.

5.1k Explicit Hotel · Outsider POV · Accidental Voyeurism · Secret Relationship · Relationship Reveal · Hayden Finds Out

̶B̶o̶y̶friends with benefits by: Anonymous

Summary: “You are so pretty, Hollander. Your freckles err— take my breath.” Shane glares. “Rozanov, you can’t say that here,” he says through gritted teeth. “They can hear us.” “Who gives a fuck?” He declares with a careless shrug. “Whole world knows we are lovers, so what?” The world most definitely does not need to know that he’s on Ilya’s extensive fuck buddies roster. Or According to Ilya, Shane is the best boyfriend anyone could ask for. If you ask Shane, he’ll tell you they are just fuck buddies.

10.1k Explicit AU · Roommates · Pre-Relationship · Mutual Pining · Jealousy · Light Angst

Uncoachable by: MinaLogan

Summary: Ilya Rozanov sucked cock the way he played hockey. Fast and dirty, absolutely ruthless, and most infuriatingly — really fucking good. ——— An angsty blowjob where Ilya and Shane both want the same things.

4.0k Explicit Angst · Smut · Mutual Pining · Yearning

a winner at heart by: pressuretoparty ⭐⭐⭐

Summary: Ilya laughs. He finds that once he starts, he can't stop. He laughs at the fact that he's in France with Shane Hollander. He laughs at the fact he's Shane Hollander's boyfriend. He laughs at the fact that he gave up Moscow for a better life, only to end up in fucking Ottawa. Ilya's dick stops working one month before he's supposed to leave for the South of France.

32.1k Explicit Established Relationship · Angst · Power Dynamics · Smut

making love out of nothing at all by: ExtraSteps

Summary: A drunken night after the NHL awards in Vegas leads to unexpected consequences for Shane and Ilya. A married in Vegas fic.

10.9k Explicit Accidental Marriage · Married · Smut

I can make you every promise that has ever been made by: ExtraSteps

Summary: It's time for Shane and Ilya to face the music. Featuring the missing conversation with his parents. His parents meeting Ilya. And then, they need to tell Hayden.

8.0k Mature Coming Out · Domestic · Family POV

#kissgate by: goldengalaxies for HunnybeeMarie ⭐

Summary: John Cook: Hollander keeps possession of the puck as Rozanov checks Cameron out of Hollander's way, and... Hollander scores! What a beaut of a goal that was! Patrick Colt: [laughing] I don’t think the opposition know what to do with themselves against Rozanov and Hollander. [Ilya Rozanov skates round to where Shane Hollander is standing. Hollander has a wide grin on his face after the recent goal. Rozanov collides into Hollander, hugging him jokily and leaning to plant a wet his on Hollander’s helmet. However, at the last second, Hollander turns to look at Rozanov. Their lips meet in a kiss. The two break apart instantly and stare at each other in horror.] Jack Saad: Oh. That’s… Hmm. John Cook: [spluttering] Erm- Patrick Colt: [faintly] Huh. Well. That’s not something you see everyday. (the shane/ilya helmet kiss at the 2017 all stars game but shane turns his head at the last moment and they kiss on the mouth. social media reacts)

1.4k Social Media · Texting · Relationship Reveal · Accidental Reveal · Humor · Light Angst

Scotty Doesn't Know (Lily and Me Do It) by: ItsMayBiTheWay ⭐

Summary: Hayden Pike's best friend Shane Hollander is as predictable and reliable as it gets. But when Shane uncharacteristically fights with Scott Hunter, of all people, Hayden needs to know why. As he sits in Shane's living room, waiting for an explanation, things start getting progressively more confusing. Why is Shane coming out to him? And how does Lily play into this? OR Hayden finds out about Lily after Shane and Scott fight on ice. When Hayden throws down gloves to take on a dinosaur, his closest ally is the most unlikely person.

14.4k Explicit Canon Divergence · Hurt/Comfort · Light Angst · Hayden Finds Out · Relationship Reveal · Domestic · Dom/Sub

there you are, my morning star by: ingberry

Summary: In a move that shocks the hockey world, Shane Hollander ends up signing to the Centaurs at the same time as Ilya Rozanov. Not only do they have years of rivalry behind them, but they've also shared a night neither of them can forget. Or, a soulmate AU where their soulmarks grow stronger as their bond grows.

22.3k Explicit Soulmate AU · Same Team AU · Fluff · Light Angst · Injury · Team Dynamics · Jealousy

The Pop-Girlification of Shane Hollander by: JuHuaTai ⭐⭐⭐

Summary: Before he could say anything, there was a loud smacking and shout that drew their attention back to the middle of the rink. In the midst of players stretching and warming up, Ilya sneakily smack the flat end of his stick against Bood’s rear, almost toppling the man down. He skated away immediately while cackling in the face of Bood’s and Dykstra’s (as the possible previous victim) indistinct hollers, accompanied by laughter from other players. Laughter that soon turns to howling when Ilya tripped in his hurry to avoid their wrath, falling on his ass. Shane stared back at the camera, giving it the flattest look possible, “Like Miss Carpenter, everyday, I too had to beg my man to ‘please don’t embarrass me, motherfucker’,” - Or, the 5 times Shane 'ASMR-Is-Music-Right?' Hollander was soft (and freaky) about his husband over the soundtrack of pop music. And the 1 time Ilya ‘Romance-Are-Not-For-Russians’ was.

20.5k Explicit Humor · Crack · Social Media · Married · 5 + 1

I already miss you by: windoq ⭐⭐

Summary: Ilya finally sees Shane again after the cottage summer… and immediately gets blocked by Shane’s parents (who are staying over after the game).

16.0k Explicit Canon Compliant · Family Dinners · Smut · Established Relationship

I Exist to Love You by: PsychoRadiance

Summary: Shane ends up sending the "we didn't even kiss" text, and Ilya Rozanov (rightfully) freaks the fuck out.

5.4k Not Rated Hurt/Comfort · Aftercare · Dom/Sub · Secret Relationship

hall of fame jane by: goldengalaxies ⭐⭐

Summary: “Can we please go five fucking minutes without hearing about your fucking dick?” … (for years cliff marlow deals with jane. one unfortunate bluetooth connection reveals more)

2.7k Not Rated Outsider POV · Relationship Reveal · Humor · Social Media

Talk About It by: some1_around ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Summary: Ilya grew up in Russia. Shane was raised in France. When they meet, neither of them can speak English very well—and somehow it’s easier to understand each other when words aren’t getting in the way.

7.9k Mature Canon Divergence · Miscommunication · Mutual Pining · Humor

this, the tale of reckless love by: justhockey

Summary: Shane wasn’t ready for this—because it was supposed to be his choice. Now it’s been taken from him.

7.4k Teen Angst · Hurt/Comfort · Coming Out · Forced Outing

open wide by: hellonogoodbye

Summary: Shane’s emergency dental appointment is made worse by the reason he needs it: Ilya face-fucks him hard enough to bruise his soft palate.

9.2k Explicit Smut · Dom/Sub · Panic Attacks · Humor

something has to change by: PeachyxQueenx

Summary: Hayden makes one too many shitty comments about Rozanov and Shane finally snaps—then the emergency landing forces everyone to deal with what’s been left unsaid.

7.6k Mature Angst · Fluff and Angst · Hurt/Comfort · Fix-It

Between Press Takes by: Anonymous. ⭐⭐

Summary: Shane sits through a press conference with concealer on his neck, trying very hard not to think about Ilya’s “proud work.” (And failing.)

7.7k Explicit Texting · Flirting · Smut · Second-Hand Embarrassment

there is by: anincompletelist (soldouthaz)

Summary: Post-concussion, Yuna tries to make sense of what she’s seeing—because something is missing, and it’s right there in front of her.

7.0k Teen Yuna POV · Family Finds Out · Hurt/Comfort · Concussion Aftermath

mercurial by: beetlesandstars

Summary: Right before summer rolls around, Ilya disappears—and Shane can’t ignore how much that breaks him open.

5.5k Mature Angst · Hurt/Comfort · Mutual Pining · Happy Ending

drugs and other love by: goldengalaxies

Summary: High Ilya says what he shouldn’t in front of Cliff—and suddenly the “seven years” becomes everyone’s problem.

3.0k Not Rated Accidental Outing · Relationship Reveal · Angst · Homophobia/Slurs

Emergency Contact: Jane by: Svgco

Summary: What happens when Ilya gets rushed to the hospital during practice and his coach tries to call Jane.

7.8k Teen And Up Audiences Hospital · Illness · Hurt/Comfort · Secret Relationship · Canon Divergence

Basic, yes? Vanilla. by: Anonymous ⭐⭐⭐

Summary: The idea comes to Shane, like most things do, out of the depths of his mind with little outside influence and Ilya has to simply hold on and survive the ride. This time though, Ilya thinks he knows where it came from. There’s no agonizing or quiet revelation or weeks of tying himself into knots on every phone call and video call, where he can’t quite look at Ilya while he works out what he needs. What he wants. At least not at first. Shane has an exhibition kink.

6.2k Explicit Exhibitionism · Orgasm Edging · Kink Exploration · Established Relationship

Rip off the band-aid by: MsMonserrat

Summary: Hayden and J.J. surprise Shane at the cottage and end up finding out about him and Ilya, all in one day.

7.2k Teen And Up Audiences Post-Episode: s01e06 The Cottage · Relationship Reveal · Love Confessions · Angst with a Happy Ending

Clickbait by: smugrobotics for swoons

Summary: Another year in the life of two dumb hockey boys. (Sequel to Like for Like — Facebook AU.)

8.5k Explicit Facebook · Social Media · Epistolary · Sexting · Banter · Teenagers

Like For Like by: smugrobotics

Summary: What if they met a year earlier — in a hockey group on Facebook.

3.2k Teen And Up Audiences Facebook · Epistolary · Falling In Love · Fluff · Light Angst

what happens in vegas by: kryptonian ⭐⭐

“...Hollander,” He hears Rozanov say, urgent like it’s not the first time he’s said it. “Shane,” he follows it up with, and that snaps him out of it. He’s never called him that. Shane, reluctantly, lifts his face a little, eyes glazed over as he meets Rozanov’s eyes. “What?” “You stink,” Rozanov says, concern dripping. “No, you—fuck. You reek. What is—” Ilya’s fingers lift up, tugging at the scent patch, revealing more of the spot beneath it. Even Shane can smell himself at that point. He does reek. Reeks of heat, of Omega, of honey and sweetness, of something that would melt on your tongue. Shane reefs himself back. The Omega inside him aches, mourns, whimpers at the loss of contact. It’s needed, though. He scrambles back, hand slapping at his neck to force the peeled patch back down over his scent gland. He backs up till his spine knocks against the bathroom stall. “You are in heat at award show? Why would you hide this? Why would you not call out sick? Are you—are you insane? You care this much about trophy?”

Shane goes into heat in Vegas.

7.2k Explicit Omegaverse · In Heat · Scenting · Knotting · Smut · Getting Together

so come over now (and talk me down) by: kurtstiel ⭐⭐

Ilya’s hand wraps around his bare wrist and squeezes. Shane barely stops himself from collapsing to his knees. The pressure lights up every receptor of his touch-starved nervous system, wrenching a small, pained noise from the back of his throat. Every muted sensation comes flooding back so intensely that it almost hurts. He needs Ilya to hold him down until there’s nothing inside him but quiet. He wants to sink into him and disappear. It takes Shane an entire beat to remember where they are. Fighting against the fog in his mind, he manages to drag his gaze up to meet Ilya’s. There’s a slow-dawning horror and understanding on Ilya’s face.

Shane is in subdrop after their encounter in Vegas. Ilya fixes it.

8.8k Explicit Subdrop · Aftercare · Dom/Sub · Hurt/Comfort · Smut

Unanswered (And Other Words Found In The Thesaurus) by: fandom_commitment_issues ⭐⭐⭐

“Were you sleeping with Rose Landry?” LeClaire asked, and Ilya felt his entire world flip upside down. Ilya scoffed and sank into the chair. He stared at his lap and, for a second, wished he could just say yes. It would have been easier. A simpler explanation. Something everyone else could swallow. “No,” he answered instead. “I was not sleeping with Landry.” Coach sighed, the weight of it settling uncomfortably in the office. “So it was Hollander, then.” Or Ilya gets called into his Coach's office after Rose and Shane start dating and an uncomfortable conversation takes place. Ilya realizes some things. Also he may need to stop reading his thesaurus.

6.6k Mature Coach LeClaire · Relationship Reveal · Jealous Ilya · Secret Relationship

Full Contact by: cjr2 ⭐⭐⭐

Newly traded to the Ottawa Centaurs, Ilya Rozanov is so close to having everything he’d never thought he was allowed to want. He can see the man he loves more than four times a year, he’s surrounded by a team who supports him through his injury, and Shane’s parents have unhesitatingly accepted him as part of the family. Except his lingering concussion symptoms have kept him sidelined from hockey, his boyfriend is still two hours away, their schedules are a disaster, and Shane’s team is, well…it’s full of assholes. There must be a way to make this all work out. or A sequel to a whump fanfiction with more whump…that is also, secretly, a fix-it.

50.5k Explicit Whump · Concussions · Hurt/Comfort · Post-Concussion Syndrome · Relationship Reveal

Concussion Protocol by: cjr2 ⭐⭐⭐

Instead of Shane, it is Ilya who suffers a concussion during the Boston-Montreal game in April 2017. Dazed and agitated, Ilya briefly starts speaking and responding only in Russian and the medics can’t calm him down. Luckily, Shane started studying Russian after Ilya spoke to him in Russian on the phone from Moscow. For no particular reason. Certainly not because he’s fallen in love with Ilya Rozanov. In Montreal with lingering concussion symptoms, Ilya is advised not to fly home for a few days, and the hospital won’t release him without assurances that he has someone to stay with him until his symptoms improve. Luckily, Shane conveniently has a condo in Montreal no one knows about and a few days before he has to travel again. But Ilya’s symptoms don’t resolve after a few days. Which is okay; Shane can handle it. He can take care of Ilya, study Russian, lead his team into the playoffs, and keep Ilya’s continued presence in Montreal a secret. He can do everything, no problem. He is Shane Hollander after all. or A whump fanfiction that is secretly a fix-it.

49.0k Explicit Whump · Hospitalization · Concussions · Hurt/Comfort · Relationship Reveal · Fix-It

do you want the house tour? by: rachelrae ⭐

Summary: Ilya gets invited to film a Youtube Video for Architectural Digest for his house in Ottawa and he decides not to hide the fact that someone else also lives here in the off season. He could have warned the camera team beforehand, but that would have taken all the fun out of the reveal.

3.1k Teen And Up Audiences Fluff and Crack · Relationship Reveal · YouTube/House Tour

Puck Found, Brain Scrambled by: RayByAnotherName for ArcticSwan

Summary: Shane helps Ilya find a disappearing puck during a game and Ilya has a hard time after. Usually when Hollander gets on his knees for him, its for very different reasons.

3.0k Mature PWP · Smut · Orgasm Control · Orgasm Edging · Coming Untouched

bad bluetooth by: goldengalaxies for TheirHighestMajest ⭐

“You have a message from: Lily.” The automated voice read out. Shane almost swerved into the other lane trying to press the mute button on the dashboard. ”Woah, eyes on the road, dude!” Hayden yelled. “Ayyy!” J.J cheered. “The famous Boston Lily! Let’s hear what she has to say.” The automated voice continued. “Can’t wait to have my [tongue emoji] in your [peach emoji].” (while shane is driving certain texts get read out by the car's bluetooth)

1.8k Not Rated Texting · Sexting · Humor · Angst · Relationship Reveal · Lily Reveal

Blanket Permission by: Anonymous ⭐⭐

“Have you ever thought about fucking me in my sleep?” Ilya had nearly dropped his phone as he let the words process slowly in his head. And Shane flipped a page in his book before looking up at Ilya, innocently, like he hadn’t just– “I mean only if you want to, I just think it would be hot, you know?” Ilya heaves a sigh and tries to put the image out of his head. It would be wrong, no? For him to–for them to– or, Shane has a new kink he wants to try. Ilya fights for his fucking life. This is pure filth involving Somnophilia, Ilya's feelings about it, and Shane being a freak.

5.6k Explicit Consensual Somnophilia · Married · Kink Exploration · Porn with Feelings

intro to russian lit by: jingooism ⭐

Summary: Ilya is Shane’s TA for Intro to Russian Literature.

46.4k Explicit College/University AU · Getting Together · Fluff · Fluff and Smut · Happy Ending

High off love (and anesthesia) by: ali_grace

“You are sooo boring,” Shane whines again. “Wanna hear something not boring?” He attempts to wiggle his eyebrows at him, but he only manages a weird half arch on one of them. Hayden would think it’s kind of adorable, if it wasn’t for the topic of conversation at hand. “No, I don’t,” and Hayden prays inside his head for Shane to actually not tell him anything else. God (and Shane) ignore his pleas. “He fucks me so good after he wins a game. But he fucks me even better after I win”. Or The Dentist!Fic in which Shane gets high off the anesthesia from getting his wisdom teeth removed and tells poor Hayden all about his and Ilya’s sex life.

2.8k Explicit Dentist · High Shane · Confessions · Crack · Smut · Dom/Sub

New post from not ilya rozanov by: rosebud_boi

Ilya Rozanov give me one chance 😫 @meganrozanov81 Guys im starting to think twitter user "not ilya rozanov" might be ilya rozanov ...or, an anthology of Ilya's tweets on his burner account following him and Shane being outed.

1.5k Teen And Up Audiences Twitter · Social Media · Epistolary · Post-Outing

I Exist to Love You by: PsychoRadiance

Summary: Shane ends up sending the "we didn't even kiss" text, and Ilya Rozanov (rightfully) freaks the fuck out.

(Based on an offhand comment in a recnt Alton Brown cooking video, with an N=3 correlation between me, my partner, and Alton Brown)

twos

threes

fours

fives

sixes

sevens

eights

nines

tens

elevens

twelves

none

Which body would you choose?

A one year old child

A one hundred year old human

A gorilla in the wild

* pork

* beef

* chicken

* turkey

* fish

* shellfish

* some other type of mammal

* some other type of bird

* some kind of insect

* some kind of reptile

* I don’t remember

* see results

the random Russian nouns as pet names, obviously

turning to Anya to arbitrate who won the race/loads the dishwasher correctly/scored a sexier goal etc

Ilya. Ilyusha. Ilyushenka. Ilyushenkechka.

and who won Rookie of the Year????

"I have never said this in my life"

threatening to tell Yuna

"pass me the remote?" — "come and get it" — [wrestling]

butt slapping. at every opportunity.

"we will have to shoot you like lame horse" when one of them gets so much as a papercut

idioms translated literally into the wrong language

"this is not hall of fame behaviour"