Yeehaw

this man was really just in this public bathroom with his girlfriend on speaker phone and she’s like “what are you up to” he’s like “I’m taking a shit baby” absolutely appalling this might be the last straw for me I really might attack this man

literally I feel like a wild chimpanzee right now

When you're a kid you just take trees for granted. Then when you get to be an adult you realize that a fully mature tree cannot be created in an amount of time that fits in a convenient landscaping timeframe for love nor money nor all the powers of science. Then you realize that people are very very very cavalier about chopping them down

Technically most moss is outside the international space station

This is art to me

I wish depression were an emergency. I wish someone could take one look at how sick I am and go “oh my god, we need to get you to a hospital!” and then when we get there I get rushed into surgery and the surgeons say “it’s a good thing you brought her here when you did, this is a seriously advanced case” and then they put me under and spend the next ten hours pulling metres of long, sticky black strands of gunk out of my body, throwing it immediately into an incinerator so that it can’t infect anyone else. And then they could stitch me back up and I could rest a few days, and when I leave the hospital everyone can see how much better I am and they congratulate me saying “well done, you’ve been so brave, I’m so glad you’re ok. I love you.”

Oedipus... You gagged us all with your mother fucking ingenuity, but it just wasn't enough for us to incest upon an encore. I'm sorry my darling but you're up for elimination

Two men on a mission, united in purpose.

People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person

Tumblr users will read a post complaining about normalized misogyny and hyperfocus on your claim that it's ok to dislike dogs