A Literal Sentient Blob of Jelli

I also feel like The Shoelace President is Obama but I'm curious what Tumblr at large thinks

He returns one night to his humble apartment, which is known to have vermin, and comes across a rat, which he could easily kill or set loose on the street.

But the rat- it is special. It seems to speak to him. Promises him every little thing he desires- talent, fame, and fortune. Recognition and esteem like he has only ever seen from afar; fine company like the wealthy men and women whose scraps he picks at over the sink.

Put me on your head, the rat says. Put me on your head and think of nothing.

It is strange at first, yes. Strange to feel another take control of his life and live it better than he ever could. To see miraculous things created with his own two hands, to feel his feet move in graceful and fantastic ways with a confidence he has never had.

But the rat delivers as he had promised: he receives promotions, notoriety, admiration. He is noticed. Envied. Every day is a waking dream, rubbing elbows with beautiful women and handsome men and influential personalities who lavish him with praise. It is addictive, this lifestyle- never mind that he is only ever truly conscious of it as a passenger of in own brain.

It is when he has reached heights few can ever conceive, with all that the rat had ever promised- a beautiful wife in a beautiful house with all the world in his palm, in possession of all the wealth and success a man could ever want, that the rat says that it is leaving.

Leaving? The rat cannot leave. Everything he is, the rat has provided.

"I have delivered on our bargain", the rat says. "I have brought to you all that you have ever dreamed. What more could you desire? I must live my own life, now."

The man is furious. He is terrified. He destroys the rat, in all of the ways that a rat can be destroyed, until nothing is left of it but a fine smear of marinara sauce.

He returns to the restaurant the next day moving like the shell of something hollowed-out and brittle. He cooks well- his fingers remember the movements, his eyes recognize the patterns, his mouth knows without his asking what orders to speak and what platitudes make patrons smile pleasantly with their straight white teeth.

He retains the talents of the rat. The charm of the rat. All the worldly pleasures the rat had provided him.

Still, it seems, he is little more than a vessel for the talents of the rat.

But the rat is gone.

jasper you don’t get to get away with this that easily.

Captions cover the spot on the screen you put the information I need

The dialogue is captioned but not the song you have playing that the dialogue is responding to

You only captioned the person on the screen, not the person off screen who is also talking

No captioning of critical sound effects (alarms, bells, dogs barking, etc)

Speakers are not labelled at moments where it is not clear on the screen who is talking.

Captions cover the spot on the screen that you put the information I need!

Other d/Deaf people welcome to add.

So no, these fucking things don't contain almost $400 worth of gold or over an ounce of silver. And good luck strangling a horse with about 50 cents worth of copper wire.

These things contain exactly what anyone with even the most basic knowledge about electronics would expect them to contain: a giant battery, a camera module, and a few circuit boards. None of which are particularly valuable.

I also can't think of a single device that contains anywhere near the amount of rare metal the original post claimed, other than maybe some super-accurate scientific measuring devices that cost tens of thousands of dollars.

Anyways, as far as individual components go, the solar panel is probably the most valuable part of the whole setup. And unlike the camera, it doesn't contain a GPS tracker.

I am pretty sure its primary function is to add GPS to the metadata of the footage and to keep track where cameras have been installed.

But since these cameras are battery powered, this thing will keep broadcasting its position even after you disconnect the solar panel and take down the camera from its mount.

* (I'm collecting them.

* (Right now, I'm 1,762 parentheses deep.

* There’s some guy who keeps opening them.)

* Right now, they think they’re 1,762 parentheses deep…)